I have a weird question [pure o, intrusive thought that was ''right''?, sexuality]

[Guest Thaís Consuli]

I struggle with OCD (''pure O'') since childhood. Anyway, when I was about 16 I had intrusive thoughts about being a lesbian and liking a girl from my class. I felt heavily depressed for a few days - the first time in my life I actually felt depressed, and anyway, somehow I was ''over it'' in a weird manner... Today (since then) I identify myself as a bisexual. I had fallen in love for two women, until today, but it never got serious, as I have had relationships with men too. I find it strange because I think that ''a intrusive thought was right'' so sometimes when I get myself ruminating over new bad thoughts I remember that and it gets me sad and desperate and even more confused.  I even think about it sometimes and I doubt myself thinking that I am lying or I am mistaken when I think I like women... and then I start to ruminate on this too. I don't know what this all means. I think that maybe it has no correlation...? But... Idk.  

Edited November 18, 2016 by Thaís Consuli

[paradoxer]

Welcome to the forum. OCD will come at you from every direction - doubt, fear, guilt - and the inane 'eternal' rumination.. Let it go - maybe it has a correalation, perhaps not. Don't even bother to dignify the question with trying to answer it.  

[Wonderer]

Your intrusive thoughts about being a lesbian weren't right, because u are bisexual and not lesbian! Also u didn't identify as bisexual yet then so it still wasn't right! 

[Guest Thaís Consuli]

On 18/11/2016 at 02:42, paradoxer said:

Welcome to the forum. OCD will come at you from every direction - doubt, fear, guilt - and the inane 'eternal' rumination.. Let it go - maybe it has a correalation, perhaps not. Don't even bother to dignify the question with trying to answer it.  

Thank you so much, you are right. This is amazing. Thank you. 

[paradoxer]

10 hours ago, Thaís Consuli said:

Thank you so much, you are right. This is amazing. Thank you. 

You're welcome! All the best. 

[Guest Zach]

Whether that thought you had about your classmate was intrusive or genuine is irrelevant, in my opinion. Having a same-sex attraction, or any attraction that doesn't involve harm to the other side is completely fine. Remember that sexual attraction is fluid, many people experience changes in their sexual preferences throughout life, and it can happen all of a sudden, or start from a random thought... with OCD or without. Therefore it's pointless to doubt and question whether you're "really" attracted to women. Just go with what you feel, you're not doing anything bad to yourself or to anyone else. Intrusive thoughts bother us because they usually present a kind of behavior that is frighteningly uncharacteristic with our personality or a scenario we are scared of. So it all depends on what the thoughts are about. If you find yourself having new ideas or looking to different directions, as long as they're harmless, don't exhaust yourself about whether they might be intrusive or not. And when you do have intrusive thoughts that are clearly uncomfortable and about doing bad things, don't compare it to the thought you described that turned out to be true, because nothing means it will be the same in this situation. Just remind yourself those bad thoughts mean nothing because they are totally opposed to who you are and what you believe, and you will never approve them!

[Guest Thaís Consuli]

On 22/11/2016 at 09:20, Zach said:

Whether that thought you had about your classmate was intrusive or genuine is irrelevant, in my opinion. Having a same-sex attraction, or any attraction that doesn't involve harm to the other side is completely fine. Remember that sexual attraction is fluid, many people experience changes in their sexual preferences throughout life, and it can happen all of a sudden, or start from a random thought... with OCD or without. Therefore it's pointless to doubt and question whether you're "really" attracted to women. Just go with what you feel, you're not doing anything bad to yourself or to anyone else. Intrusive thoughts bother us because they usually present a kind of behavior that is frighteningly uncharacteristic with our personality or a scenario we are scared of. So it all depends on what the thoughts are about. If you find yourself having new ideas or looking to different directions, as long as they're harmless, don't exhaust yourself about whether they might be intrusive or not. And when you do have intrusive thoughts that are clearly uncomfortable and about doing bad things, don't compare it to the thought you described that turned out to be true, because nothing means it will be the same in this situation. Just remind yourself those bad thoughts mean nothing because they are totally opposed to who you are and what you believe, and you will never approve them!

♥ thank you