How to deal with intense negative feelings?

[jimangie1973]

I woke up at about 3:30 this morning and felt fine initially. I've been doing pretty good with my OCD.  I started thinking about a negative thing that happened yesterday.  This shifted to my obsession abruptly and I was unable to sleep from then on.  I got that sick feeling in my gut from the frustration and fear.  I don't know if I'm getting sick but I got nauseous  started dry heaving.  Horrible negative feelings.

Any others get this nasty negativity?  If so, any recommendations on dealing with it?

[Cub]

Yes, I do and I understand. I'm so sorry. *cuddle* Being awake in the middle of the night can't have helped either; you must have been exhausted and alone with your thoughts and that can't have helped. It's the worst time in the world - but as the saying goes, even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

I made a mistake at work on Saturday on the heel of three days with a worsening cold and hardly any sleep and made a couple of slight mistakes at work that left me incredibly upset. In the end they sent me home early because I was ill (they told me I should have called in sick initially) and because my anxiety had gone through the roof and I was terrified I was going to get fired; they assured me that wouldn't happen, said we all make mistakes and errors in the job. Which helped, but I felt so awful; I couldn't eat lunch properly and had a coughing fit. They wanted to know what they could do to help.

I'm still working on this myself but I think mindfulness and distraction would help. In the middle of all this the only thing that helped me feel better was watching my favourite cartoon on BBC iPlayer and that helped ease me down a little and gave me something to smile about. But also, if you need to have a really good cry to release some of that stress, then heck yes, don't be ashamed to do that too.

Also: don't forget all the things you've done RIGHT. My work are great in that they always give me encouragement and feedback in equal measure and I was commended in this case for being honest about my mistake and my fears, for admitting I couldn't work because I was so ill. I also remember that I've been called hard-working, that I've been told I make people smile and that I'm good at talking to people and am considered friendly, all things I try to live up to.  I expect there's lots of good things about you. You have a lovely dog, for instance.

What kind of things have you been told about yourself that are positive? Yes, negative things happen - I don't know if this was a mistake you made or something that happened to you - but if it's any consolation, I tend to focus on small, problematic things, such as why isn't that person talking to me/are they trying to avoid me because I'm awkward/do I not fit in/have I offended that person? But in many cases, it's not you; it's just other stuff going on and you're caught in the cross-fire. That's the way life goes, sadly, but you can't help that a lot of time. 

C x

Sorry for the long waffle, but I want to let you know I understand and I get it and I'm sorry.

C x

[jimangie1973]

Thank you so much for the great reply Cub.    I'm feeling better from reading it, and from getting some sunlight.  It also help me to talk about it with my wife.  Something about not being all alone in this really helps.  Thanks also for the canine compliment.   We have two German Shorthair Pointers.

I don't really get any self hate, self loathing, or guilt with my OCD.  It's mainly pure fear which leads to horrid frustration and negativity during bad times. Even so, the OCD definitely feeds on negativity and unfortunately I'm not good at keeping it from spiraling out of control.  In fact, that's one of my fears.  The loneliness of night with the racing obsessive mind is really tough.

Jim

Edited November 22, 2016 by jimangie1973

[taurean]

This should be helpful folks expand the link by clicking on the blue heading. 

 

[FoosBoo88]

Oh it's not just me!

I always fall into a trap of sort of going "what am I thinking of today? How is X obsession today?" in retrospect it's probably very unhealthy, but just because it's unhealthy doesn't mean I don't do it, try as I might to let these thoughts go!

FoosBoo x

[taurean]

Negative Bias is a problem to us. 

We were living in our first property, a first-floor flat, in Ealing, and I wrote a poem called "The Hollow"  - it was quite depressive and it was also quite descriptive of how I felt at the time. 

I think the more we can seek out the positive in our situations, the better it helps with our illness. 

Make sure we can find some laughter love and joy. 

If we can pull  that off, we can tackle those negatives. 

[jimangie1973]

23 minutes ago, taurean said:

Negative Bias is a problem to us. 

...

Make sure we can find some laughter love and joy. 

Both very true.  Thanks for the link you posted earlier.  Very good stuff.