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Back Again...


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Hey everyone, been a while since I've posted on here (I've read around a few times though), but I guess relapses are inevitable sometimes, especially when you let your guard down after a good summer. 
Basically, last weekend when I had a sleepless night due to intense anxiety and racing thoughts that I have been experiencing high anxiety levels since as well as unhelpful, hopeless thoughts.
I feel I'm stuck in this cycle of obsessing over recovery and my previous worry which lightened off earlier this year. I'm having wishful thinking like "Why can't I go back to before?" "Why won't these feelings go away!" "Why can't I just sleep properly?". I even notice myself checking memories of earlier this year to reassure myself it will get better or comparing how I feel now to past OCD phases to make sure this is actually OCD once again and not "different this time!".

My biggest issue now ls sleep. I've associated the evening and going to sleep with anxiety and get anxiety about anxiety as that means another sleepless night might lie ahead. It's a nasty cycle. I'm reading my mindfulness book again and trying to brush off the old treatment methods but obviously have doubts that it's not going to work. I feel like I need to make peace with the return of anxiety as I've beat it before, even on my own after I left CBT. This time feels worse, as I guess is to be expected and admit I have been trying to "hurry up and get better" which I understand it counter-productive.
Just needed to get this down. Always scary when full blown-anxiety returns. Going to try and keep up the mindfulness and even throw the 4-steps back into play. Hoping this ease soon. :)

Thanks guys!
 

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