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Contamination


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Sorry that this is a bit yucky but I'm really struggling and need someone to talk to.  Can't discuss with family as I feel they're already very frustrated with my OCD worries, which centre around touching contaminated blood. 

 

My problem is that I can't tell the difference between real concerns and OCD induced panic.

 

On Monday, I had to pop to supermarket after work.  As I was driving along, I felt that my period had started unexpectedly.  Parked at supermarket and touched my trousers to see if I had leaked any blood - saw blood on my fingers which I wiped off.  As I was wearing dark trousers, I decided to pop into shop anyway as I really needed s couple of things and obviously some sanitary towels too. As I walked into the shop I looked at my fingers again.

 

i wandered around the shop for a few mins and put a few bits in a trolley.  Looked at my hands and saw that there was s smear of blood on one of the fingers of the hand I had checked earlier.  Assumed I had missed it earlier and licked it off (sorry - that's the yucky bit!). Then sudden panic set in - what if it wasn't my blood but I had picked up someone else's blood whilst choosing shopping.  

I abandoned my shopping trolley and went and bought a pack of antibacterial wipes.  Of course this involved opening my purse to take out debit card.  Outside shop, wiped my hands, car keys, debit card and purse.  Purse was full of receipts etc so there was a limit to how much I could decontaminate them.  Felt better so took another trolley and did shopping again. 

Brought shopping inside house.  Now worried that everything is now contaminated.  Have wiped surfaces etc with antibacterial wipes.  Clothes etc I have washed at 60 degrees in washing machine but daren't take out if the machine yet as don't know if washing machine is effective in cleaning blood contamination.  Unfortunately they are in the machine with other clothes too.

 

i'm in such a state - what can I do? 

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Guest tillyray

Hello Chelsie. It is the enemy ocd which has got you in such a state. All was fine as you dealt with the blood on your hand,wiped it and  began shopping...Then ocd tried to trick you by making you think it wasn't your blood..and bingo off it goes...

But you know its all ok if you allow yourself to remember the facts and just stick with that certainty..

I know how hard it is to live with ocd but you must fight it each time it appears,you must not let it win by taking over your rationality.Don't do anymore actions-compulsions- that relate to this or that will only give more power to the ocd..

Get on now with other things.Do not let ocd rob you of getting on with your life.

Best wishes x

 

 

 

Edited by tillyray
grammer
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Thanks so much for the reply, tillyray.  The problem is that I checked my hand after I wiped it but then noticed another smear 10-15 mins later.  It's what I might have touched in that 10-15 mins that worries me. 

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Guest tillyray

You were bleeding, it was your blood!..ocd is tricking you to think otherwise..,do not give in to it...Go for a walk,watch a movie..just don't give in to your enemy!

Edited by tillyray
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The answer is, stop doing any compulsions. The truth is, you should not have bought antibacterial wipes, should not have used them and should not have washed your clothes like that. Doing so was compulsions and only served to keep you stuck. 

You can tell that OCD is at play by the amount of anxiety you feel. The more anxiety you have, the more likely it is an OCD worry that should be dismissed.

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Thanks polar bear - I find it so difficult to differentiate between what is a real legitimate worry and what is OCD.  I find myself constantly asking myself what a normal person would do in a situation.  

 

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