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Excuse the need to offload but would appreciate support of lovely people out there. 

Ended up off work again today due to stomach bug which started up again yesterday.  Lots of anxiety about going back to work tomorrow. 

Was meant to pick up repeat prescription for paroxetine today but had call from doctors to say dr wanted to see me.  Had to go for appt today as I was out of tablets. Dr agreed to upping dosage to 40mg (I had actually started taking this much a few days ago as I've been on this dosage before). Dr also prescribed propanolol (I have taken this short term once before). Lots of anxiety about going to dr and pharmacy as these places seem full of contamination, but I coped. 

I'm concerned that I'm starting to avoid touching my daughter as she touches the floor, her feet etc. I try really hard not to put my OCD worries on to her which means I have to allow her to put her phone on the floor to charge, to sit on the floor etc. Today she touched my hand and I had to really resist the temptation to go and wash it.  I then touched my mouth without thinking and this has set off a feeling of anxiety which I'm trying hard to fight and not to go and wash my face/wash my mouth out.  Haven't given in to compulsion but not feeling great. 

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Hi hunny. I'm sorry your poorly again. Well done on resisting the compulsions. Even if you can't resist all of them, just reducing some is in the right direction. I am struggling as well the past couple of days. I hate how I can avoid doing a compulsion for two days and the obsession slowly disappearing. But then my OCD will latch onto something else and I give in and do the compulsion straight away. So annoying. Anyway sorry I didn't mean to hijack your post.  

Keep strong my lovely. Have you got CBT this week? Am I correct in thinking your appointment got rescheduled last week because of your Norovirus? ? 

Kitty xx

Edited by kittypurry
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Yes - cbt starting on Monday now.  Sorry you're struggling too. I'm feeling much better now - it's just the thought of being back at work which is making me anxious. I know I'll be fine once I'm there, it's just getting through the horrible symptoms of early morning anxiety.  I'm hoping the propanolol will help with that, though.  I've decided to ignore my house, which looks like a bomb's hit it after being poorly, and to relax and watch tv with my daughter tonight. The Great Interior Design Challenge is on next :) 

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Yes - I've been on propanolol a couple of times before.  When I was a child/teenager I used to have a reaction when I did anything that caused a rush of adrenaline - my fingers and lips used to swell up as if I was having an allergic reaction. Propanolol used to help with this.  I was also given some when I first went on paroxetine to tide me over until it started to take effect. In the past, I've found I feel well on it so hoping it will work as well this time. 

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Well done Chelsie, it's great that you're identifying your compulsions and working towards being free of them! :)

It breaks my heart when I avoid touching my daughter, last week she had a Drs appointment which caused me so much anxiety every time I touched her hair! 

Keep resisting and enjoy your evening. 

 

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