saddaniels Posted April 9, 2017 Author Share Posted April 9, 2017 Its screwed up, but don't know how to shake it. All of this mental work is exhausting. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to get my OCD under control. Link to comment
saddaniels Posted April 9, 2017 Author Share Posted April 9, 2017 I'm trying to not care, but its excruciatingly hard just to say "eh, whatever. im doing it wrong. so what." because IF i'm doing it wrong I need to find out where and fix it so i can get better, Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 Obsessing about crafting the perfect recovery from OCD is the very definition of counterproductive (and irony I guess!). I'm very much of the same ilk. Ultimately though, it's reaching a destination of relative peace that's important, not perfecting the journey. Link to comment
taurean Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 You keep going over and over it - this is ruminating. Daniels, stop doing this. Forget what the therapist said - stop focusing on it, obsessing about it. It is pointless and you are buying the traps that OCD lays. Anyone doing this, whatever the manifestation, digs a hole from which they can't climb out, and they stay stuck. Link to comment
snowbear Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 5 hours ago, saddaniels said: I know I'm doing it, yet at the same time, this issue feels extremely important to figure out. If the issue didn't feel important nobody would do ruminations. Accept that 'it feels important' is just a feeling that is part of the OCD, not a sign that something actually IS important. Link to comment
saddaniels Posted April 10, 2017 Author Share Posted April 10, 2017 (edited) Everything about ERP is about living life backwards. The therapy itself is extremely unethical & shouldn't be used in the treatment of OCD. I've tried getting used to settings I don't like, but I can't do it. I've tried putting them off like certified professionals have asked me to do and habituate to them being off from how I like them. I've tried. I've pushed myself to the point of insanity trying, but I haven't succeeded. Honestly I'm just ready to die. I don't care about living anymore. I need a quick way out of this soon or im not going to make it much longer. Edited April 10, 2017 by saddaniels Link to comment
PolarBear Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 ERP is NOT about living life backwards. That is your own personal twisted view of ERP. ERP is not unethical and should be used in the treatment of OCD. Your experience with it is rocky. The one thing you need to do is keep stopping yourself every time you slide into rumination about ERP. Just don't go there. You don't need it right now. You shouldn't care at all about the settings on your TV. At this time you do not need to figure anything out to do with ERP. Every time you slip into ruminating, you need to pull yourself back and switch your attention onto something else. Link to comment
saddaniels Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) I understand sitting with the thought that may TV may or may not be on settings I don't like/settings that are screwed up & then not performing compulsions. Honestly, this sounds ideal to me. What makes little sense to me is why my behavioral specialists asked me to set them off intentionally and sit with that anxiety. There must have been a purpose to that. The purpose isn't clear to me & this is where I'm getting stuck. Its like a broken record. Yes, I may be verbally ruminating right now, but if I stay confused, how do I get better? Yes, I'm afraid if I don't follow therapy guidelines correctly I will not get better. Yes, that is the fear. Edited April 12, 2017 by saddaniels Link to comment
Franklin12 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 I'm not sure if you recognise what your compulsions are, or whether you are just adamant that you want to continue to do them? Link to comment
saddaniels Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Hi everyone. I've been working hard at my mental health lately. Really trying to grasp the concept that nothing is certain, everyone has different opinions/views, etc. I'm trying to view CBT as a metaphor for LIFE & that there is no right way to go about it. It's late where I live, but I just wanted to thank all of you, especially you PolarBear, for keeping my head above water at the beginning of this year/in the past/currently. I think of the people on this forum daily, mainly as motivation to keep going forward. OCD UK rocks . PS. This is the last time I'll ever post on this thread because it's time to move on . See you all on the board, in different threads. Edited September 19, 2017 by saddaniels Link to comment
PolarBear Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Hey saddaniels, I've been wondering how you've been getting along. Thanks for stopping by and letting us know. I hope things are a lot calmer for you. Link to comment
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