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Books on "Just Right", symmetry, Perfectionism


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Hello everybody

Any good book/books on treating obsessions regarding perfectionism, just so, good vs bad place, right vs wrong way , symmetry, etc?

I really hugely appreciate your help because I suffer badly and I think finding appreciate treatment is so hard for this type of condition.

Thanks all 

 

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I don't know of any. 

But I think you are making a common mistake in thinking that there needs to be. There doesn't. 

OCD operates in much the same way whatever the theme in wish it expresses itself. 

Learn how it works from one of the books such as an OCD Workbook and how you tackle it, then you simply slot that into tackling your particular obsession or theme :)

 

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Hi,

I think you may be thinking about this the wrong way.  The way OCD works is exactly the same, regardless of 'theme' or 'flavour', it's not the theme or the flavour per se that is the problem, it is how we allow the OCD to handle those thoughts and feelings (obsessions).

So really what I am saying is don't treat the theme, treat the cause so I guess what you need to be asking 'are there any good books on OCD?', and the best which is CBT based is 'Break free from OCD' http://www.ocdshop.com/product_info.php?cPath=1&products_id=163

But books are only effective if we understand and apply the learning correctly, and if most of us could do that we would not need help... so you will need to access CBT from a therapist to overcome OCD in most likelihood.

 

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I worked through 'Break free from OCD' and tried to apply it to my just right OCD as well as other types. I knew how to do behavioural experiments- I went round and touched a load of things with one hand and resisted touching them with the other, even though it felt really horrible. But then when I got to 'does this prove theory A or B?' I got a bit stuck as I didn't think anything bad was going to happen, it just felt wrong. The book gives an example of needing to touch things but suggests the person would be worried they might go mad if they didn't touch it. I've never thought that, it just feels uncomfortable. So I suspect fighter_jet might have similar thoughts?

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32 minutes ago, fighter_jet said:

You are right, but I DO need some exposure and response prevention specific to my condition, without it I don't know how to cope.

No, this is not completely right.  Do not confuse ERP with what CBT is.   You can do all the ERP in the world, if the faulty thinking pattern is not addressed first then the perpetual OCD cycle will continue, ERP will usually not fix the faulty thinking pattern.

CBT is the recommended treatment, not ERP.     Good CBT will include behavioural exercises, but in my opinion ERP on its own is most likely going to lead to failure.

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A friend of mine, at my request, looked at our forums. 

He said he couldn't spot any reference to vomit OCD, of which his daughter suffers in addition to anorexia. 

I said that is a revulsion obsession, but still part of the way OCD works across all sorts of themes and obsessions. 

All can be addressed using CBT. 

Edited by taurean
typo
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14 hours ago, Ashley said:

No, this is not completely right.  Do not confuse ERP with what CBT is.   You can do all the ERP in the world, if the faulty thinking pattern is not addressed first then the perpetual OCD cycle will continue, ERP will usually not fix the faulty thinking pattern.

CBT is the recommended treatment, not ERP.     Good CBT will include behavioural exercises, but in my opinion ERP on its own is most likely going to lead to failure.

 

14 hours ago, Ashley said:

No, this is not completely right.  Do not confuse ERP with what CBT is.   You can do all the ERP in the world, if the faulty thinking pattern is not addressed first then the perpetual OCD cycle will continue, ERP will usually not fix the faulty thinking pattern.

CBT is the recommended treatment, not ERP.     Good CBT will include behavioural exercises, but in my opinion ERP on its own is most likely going to lead to failure.

You are perfectly right, ERP cannot fix my thinking errors I have. I DO need a cognitive fix so that I could expose myself to the situations I avoid. 

Thanks for your attention as the administrator of this great site. I'm seriously helpless in my struggling. Yesterday, when presenting in an afternoon class I take, I started to panic about HOW I should stand in the classroom in front of students when reading and presenting my lesson. Should I face the classroom directly or tilt so that I face the teacher and classroom? What is the correct way for me to stand when presenting a lecture? I'm badly bugged by these kinds of obsessions. I need help.

Edited by fighter_jet
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My two pennence is that for the cognitive side you will have to start to ask yourself 'how much does it matter to me if things aren't just right?'. It sounds like the answer is a lot, and it's causing you anxiety and stress. So then you might ask, 'why does it matter so much to me? Does it HAVE to matter so much, if it's causing me so much stress and anxiety? Does it cause most other people stress and anxiety? Does it matter so much because it's a principle/rule that I have - I.e. I really think that things SHOULD be just right? Or does it matter so much because it makes me feel bad when things aren't just right?'

If you hold very rigid principles that things SHOULD be just right, then you must make a choice about whether you want to keep hold of this principle and be anxious, or whether you prefer to be less anxious and loosen this principle. if you decide to loosen this principle, go ahead and do your exposures with the mindset that even though it will feel uncomfortable at first, you are committed to letting go. 

If it simply feels bad when things aren't right, then you can go ahead with your exposures with the mindset that it doesn't REALLY matter if things are just right, it just feels bad, and resolve yourself to getting used to these bad feelings because they will lessen with time and practice.

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5 hours ago, fighter_jet said:

Yesterday, when presenting in an afternoon class I take, I started to panic about HOW I should stand in the classroom in front of students when reading and presenting my lesson. Should I face the classroom directly or tilt so that I face the teacher and classroom? What is the correct way for me to stand when presenting a lecture? I'm badly bugged by these kinds of obsessions. I need help.

This is classic thinking for your form of obsession. 

During my career I gave lots of presentations, a few speeches and training sessions, and how I should stand never entered my head as a specific concern that I can remember ; in other words I reacted to the environment in which I found myself presenting, and the presentation tools I was using. 

I learned to move my focus around the room gently, making eye contact with the audience in between glancing down at the laptop screen or my notes. 

If there was a lectern, on reflection now I recall holding the sides of it with my hands, except when expressing a point with body language. 

There was never any agonising over how what or where. But I would arrive early at a venue, meet with the manager and set everything up and check it was working. 

So it's really, in normality, a mix of common sense and learned practicality. 

 

 

Edited by taurean
amendment
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