Frightened mummy!

[tinkerbell]

I know Iam not meant to ask and it only helps for a but then I won't to ask again !!!but omfg I feel sick as a pig I feel so rubbish and down ; ( how can one min my ocd though be about my ears I know very odd I've got ringing ears I used to talk and ask people 24 /7 now it's jump on to this and if I told u I haven't heard the rining for 2 weeks would u belive me !! My mind been so fouces on this monster thought I feel such a **** and awful mum that I can't evern hug my beautiful baby ! I feel so far from him it's awful iwont to obbsive over my ears again cos this is by far the worst ever! !  2 weeks ago I took my baby and 3 of his mates to the park this troble thought didn't enter  my mind at all not once I was thinking about my ears ... if I was this person I would have been thinking thease things then when I had children with is wouldn't i?? X:( I woukd do anythink to have my rining thought bk this is making me feel such a monster mum .... I didn't know what Groinal response was how can this happen I don't won't this I hate it so much ! It's put me off having anythink time with my boyfriend cos I think if we get close thease thought will pop up .. I don't won't thease Groinal response  they making me I'll !! Why do I get them I don't like them thoughts ... when I get one of them thought I stop dead what Iam doing and shout out will sort of omfg in shock in total shock  please help Iam soooo frighting   xx I didn't think thease thought last month when I had my boy birthday there was 50 kids there not once did this thought pop up no once I was busy keep checking my ears in the kitchen!  Xi know deep down its ocd but **** me this is tue worst ! I won't my old thoughts bk I say that  every time I get a thought ... this all started with a thought Iam here now with this for 2 weeks it's got to me today cos all I wonted to do was got to bed ; (xxx sorry for the  bad spelling x

[Juliex]

Every time you resist or fight the thoughts or the groinal responses what happens is you are telling your brain this is something important to be aware of.  Then you become more aware of it and more upset.

Honestly, I've done CBT for this and the treatment is to let the thoughts/responses to just happen, they are like clouds in the sky, we don't have any control over them, they will come and go.  Let them.  The less you respond to them the sooner they will calm down and may even disappear.  You are not a bad person even if it feels that way at the moment.

It's ok to carry on and do positive stuff and try your best, even if these things are happening. You are ok.  :-)

Edited April 11, 2017 by Juliex

[Juliex]

One thing that helps me with intrusive thoughts is to allow myself some time for worrying and then to set aside an hour where I won't worry at all, just for that hour, I will allow any thoughts to come and just let them go over my head and continue what I'm doing, etc.  I tell myself that when the hour is up I can worry again for a while before setting another hour.  Interestingly, I find sometimes I'm ok for the whole day after trying this.  A lot of ocd intrusive thoughts/feelings are due to low mood.  By letting it all go, doing something positive, our mood lifts and then the symptoms improve.  :-)

[tinkerbell]

I feel so annoyed :(its making me I'll I just won't to give my little boy a cuddle :(as soon as I woke up this moring it's there .if I won't them thought I wouldn't care xx u know what I've had this b4 years ago too but another thought took over it was well I thought my heart was packing up omg that's was bad to the point they stop giving me ECG s in the hospital but I won't that one bk anyday xx I feel so down with this .I love that where somtimes in the day u have that feeling where u know it's ocd and think ya this is a ocd that's not me then about 1 hr later u get that but it's not cos the stuff  your thinking .. xx I hate that groinal responses that's just top it off I really hate it why do we get that that's the thing that keeps it real ... I wan be bk to my slef a fun mummy I keep pushing my little one away when he comes near me and inside I just wan hug him and watch film with and play toya with him xx I've had every though going .I thought I couldn't take anymore when it was my ears I thought that was the worst there rining away now while Iam in bed and I just don't care mad isn't it I woukd have gave anythink about 4 weeks ago to feel like that .. I rember  saying to my mum ,mum I've got so used to that rining I can live with it and be happy then cos I was nearly over that bam this thought pop up I could feel it coming tho in know it sounds strange  my little boy was in my bed cos he does that when he can't sleep in the moring and we both fell asleep. .. I had a dream I slept with a dr in my dream cringe and when I woke up he was soundo I felt I'll that I had that sort of dream while my little one was nxt to me well that just top it off the ocd went mad I felt a monster sceen then !! I wound never in my life ever do anything thay Iam thinking I keep saying this over and over never I've always got kids rd me Never ever Iam not that person !!?but when they come up to me I will try anythink to get them away from me ?this little girl said to me can u do my mu shoes  the other day I look at her like she was odd I said no go and get your mummy to do it ?I would have just done it  and thought nothink of it ! Thank u for getting bk ?xx

[tinkerbell]

So when I get them awful thoughts they can stop me dead :(I've just try and tidying up I was just getting throw it then a horrible thought come and I've just sat down in shock :(what the heck Iam doing I've been here done it why is it throwing me like this ; (

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

There is only one way out and it is to stop asking the questions the ocd wants you to ask

[tinkerbell]

Really I know your right I really do !why do I get that where I know it's ocd then 10 min after Iam bk to no its not cos u won't be thinking that ... I sound like iam begging for help here :(and for all yous to tell me it's all ocd I really don't won't to be asking this at all ?I wan feel like a Normal mum that I was I feel like a monster and I hate then groinal responses  please god someone tell me it's ocd cos I hate it soo much I haven't stop cryingxx

[tinkerbell]

Can any one help I wasn't having this thought about 3 weeks ago it didn't even enter my head ; (xxx 

[PolarBear]

You have to face up to the fact that you are having disturbing intrusive thoughts. Now what are you doing about them?

First off you should be identifying the compulsions you are doing and working hard to stop them. Avoiding your boy is a compulsion. Ruminating is a compulsion.