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Hello Everyone.

I haven't used the forum for a few years now as I feel I haven't the time to contribute so thereforefore it feels wrong to take. However could any body please advise me what may be available in the way of support. I live in Dover Kent and the mental health facilities are gone, there is no one available to help - my Doctor will also say "There's nothing available that we haven't tried before" but I'd like to have some of whatever we tried before as my OCD is ongoing with some days / years being better than others

I take medication which helps with the intrusive thoughts, I also dont do anything that I know will start them off. In hindsight I can see this illness has very much controlled me, what I thought was my personality has been governed by my OCD and not doing things that may trigger the debilitating thoughts has become the norm. Its a very lonely illness.

I feel I need practical help with my hoarding and way of thinking. If I tackle these things the stress and anxiety is overwhelming and then it will often spark the debilitating thoughts which can go on for months in some instances years. The more detrimental they are the better. I've dealt with these in the past with drink and drugs they would go away when I got really high. I no longer do this as I couldnt cope with the lifestyle. 

As you all know the anxiety that OCD brings is overwhelming I liken it to somebody asking a non sufferer to climb down a cliff, they'd be petrified but they might manage it - or they might fall to their death.But with the right tools, a harness, grips, guidance, ropes - possibly an instructor they'd still be petrified but the task could be accomplished, the risk of death considerably diminished.

My task isn't to climb down a cliff but to clean out my old "stuff" I've carried this hoard around with me for two decades. I've spent a fortune paying storage fees and renting over size flats so much so that when the money ran out I still had things in storage but chose to live in my car before ending up in a hostel for two years. Over time the hoard has grown smaller and now fits in one room, what should be my bedroom. I sleep in the front room on a mattress. My flat is a tip and I have days where I'm totally worn out and stuck. I feel there is much more to my illness that I still do not understand

If I'm going to live in comfort I need practical help with my getting rid of things or some decent support other than more medication. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks  

 

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Hi Rob,

Please, never feel you can't ask for advice and support here because you don't have the time at the moment to 'give back,' the forum and charity's here to help everyone - full stop, no questions, no quibbles:)

If your your doctor were to say that, I'd gently remind them that....sure CBT's CBT, but a lot can come down to who's delivering it and it may take more than one, possibly a couple of treatment courses for everything to click into place.

They might be open to referring you, but if they won't.....you could try the IAPT service and self-refer. This link here goes into more detail. I'm afraid I don't know enough about your local mental health service to advise you, they seem to vary wildly depending on our area....it might be worth having a chat with Ashley for his opinion about the quality of treatment available to you locally - he's done a fair bit of research into this particular area.

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If I tackle these things the stress and anxiety is overwhelming and then it will often spark the debilitating thoughts which can go on for months in some instances years.

This is where a good CBT therapist will really come into their own. 

With the right guidance and tools you'll be able to cope with the anxiety while working at dispensing with what you need to be rid-of to reclaim a good quality of life - as with tackling OCD it'll come down to taking things slowly, steadily and inching forward to a point where you can jettison both the mental and literal baggage weighing you down.

I hope that might help a little, but as I say.....you're always welcome to use the forum as much as you'd like to.

Hal:)

 

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Thanks Hal appreciated. I've used the Dover counselling service but its very much counselling and you only get either six or eight sessions. But I'll definitely try the others. Can I ask another question ? As stated I'm still very much learning about what is me and what is OCD and how its governed my thinking. I'm pushing to overcome my problems and if I can afford it would even pay someone to help me.I've heard I might be eligible to certain benefits even though I work - this is another avenue I will follow. 

One of my biggest problems is when alone at home I kind of switch off. I dont really see what needs to be done and have no interest in making my place homely. Oddly my Brother is the same but even worse, He will literally sit indoors doing absolutely nothing until his wife comes home from work then he can get on with things. I feel if I had someone to guide me, give me a hand I could get on with things a lot better. It sounds like I need a Mother to enable me to get on with life and help me throw things out just as she would have with a child. Perhaps my Brother and myself have both missed out on something fundamental ? I'm talking aloud here and realise this would have to be answered by somebody professional.

My question is have you ever heard of this type of behaviour being linked in to OCD ? I'm not depressed and can get on with most things but my place is an absolute tip partly due to clutter and not knowing where to start and also because I've never decorated from when it was empty, like I've said I sleep on a mattress on the floor when most would strive for a bed.

I'm not asking for the bigger answers just have you ever heard of this as I don't know if I can attribute it to OCD or whether its completely separate.

Thanks again for your swift response

Rob

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Hey, I’d definitely exhaust going through the NHS before paying to see someone privately. 

Counselling has its place depending on the issue, but for an issue as complex as OCD and hoarding can be, CBT’s definitely the way to go. It might take some time to be able to access it through the NHS, it usually does….but in theory you’d really only be paying for speed of access rather than the quality of treatment - if you do opt to go privately though, your best bet’s finding a therapist accredited with the BABCP, not the BABP who’re fine for regular counselling, not for CBT.

One of my biggest problems is when alone at home I kind of switch off. I dont really see what needs to be done and have no interest in making my place homely.

There could be a few factors at work there…sorting through and throwing stuff away understandably seems too daunting at the moment.....ignoring it by switching-off and zoning out from what needs tackling is obviously less anxiety inducing…essentially, procrastinating/avoidance is working as a bit of a safety seeking device. 

Not so much a case of out of sight out of mind, as out of mind out of sight maybe.

With time and the help of a good CBT therapist guiding and helping you with any underlying issues keeping the problem fixed in place, that can change though….they’ll break the problem down into manageable chunks and allow you to see clearly what needs to be done and how best to go about it. Once you get going I reckon the lack of interest and motivation around making your house a home will fade, you’ll begin feeling excited and more enthusiastic about what your home could be and how much it will improve your overall quality of life.

My question is have you ever heard of this type of behaviour being linked in to OCD ?

I think there’s still some debate around the relationship between OCD and hoarding, but this article here covers the bases and might be helpful, but I would definitely have a chat with your GP for a referral for the CBT (it's provided for both OCD and hoarding)….if they refuse, it never hurts to mention the NICE guidelines covering our entitlement to it through the NHS, any problems though and give us a shout, the charity can always help:)

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Hi Rob,

If your GP claims you have exhausted all local help then ask for a referral to either the Anxiety Disorders Residential Unit in Beckenham or the Centre for Anxiety Disorders and Trauma at the Maudsley. 

 

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Hal 

Thanks for your comprehensive answer in particular I like the "out of mind out of sight" suggestion. There is definitely something like that going on, when away from home and can think a lot clearer and really get to grips with what needs to be done, but as soon as I'm home all my thoughts are gone, completely forgotten. Its a much stronger sense than "Cant be bothered" it almost feels like I'm waiting for someone, possibly a parent. Who knows ?  

I've actually managed over the years to get rid of a lot of things I'm now down to the things that were always going to be hard. I'm also at the point where I realise there is much more to OCD than I realised or that perhaps I have other mental health problems as well as - maybe I suffer from something different. Thirty years ago as soon as I mentioned intrusive thoughts my GP went down the schizophrenia route, twenty tears ago ruminating thoughts, then about ten years ago OCD. I now have the best Doctor I've ever had but sadly all the local mental health units are at breaking point and I'm seen as managing, but as I've put back to my Doctor managing isn't a great place to be.    

I've checked out the hoarding article and can strongly identify with it - just reading it brings a sigh of relief.If you know of any good self help books pertinent to this please recommend. I'll also put the two titles I've recently read on the site. I recommend them but although a good read and practical when it came to the crunch I just cant do the things I need to do, that's not a slight on the books they were extremely insightful and helpful. I'll look them out

 

Edited by Rob Gardner
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BelAnna

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I will look up the Anxiety Disorders Residential Unit in Beckenham and the Centre for Anxiety Disorders and Trauma at the Maudsley and talk to my GP about them, as already stated he's a great GP and if there were options available locally he would refer me.

I really want to receive some help so I can get on, when I try to tackle getting rid of things myself its like someone punching me in the stomach, I also run the risk of the intrusive thoughts starting and these can go on for months, even years, the thing is its just one room of things now and once its done its done but even the thought of it makes me anxious - its almost like a phobia. 

But I'm tackling it and this time it does feel different in that I want to get it done for me so I can have a home and more importantly a bed. Previously it has always been a task to be done either because storage was costing money or because I was renting flats too big for me or someone was tackling me to get things out of their lofts, sheds, spare rooms etc. So there has been a shift - possibly in my self worth or awareness, but a definite shift.

Thanks again for your help - I hope I'm not putting to much detail in my replies, but I know the people on hear understand me and its good to get it out of my system - it helps

Thanks again

 

 

 

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With a diagnosis of OCD, hoarding and depression I can identify with your idea of switching off - not perceiving what needs to be done. It is a cognitive and perceptual problem which should be addressed in therapy. Congratulations in reducing your hoard and not paying for storage. A good self help book is Tolin, Frost and Steketee 'Buried in Treasures - help for compulsive acquiring, saving and hoarding'  Oxford University Press. It deals the three aspects of hoarding - acquiring, storage and disposal. 

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Hi Angst

Thanks for your reply, this may sound daft but I've never until recently thought I may have other things as well as, I was constantly being diagnosed as having depression but in the end it was found I had a under active thyroid. Its great to hear that you understand the switching off thing. I live in a hovel, I know its a hovel but I never think about tidying up, decorating making the place homely. Its a storage place where I don't know where anything is. It doesnt feel like home just somewhere I reside. As stated I sleep on a mattress the easiest thing in the world should be to make space and buy a bed - or even a sofa bed but I make do. I'll definitely get the book from the library - I dont buy anything now that I might keep unnecessarily, which is a bit of a shame as I used to love to read music papers as it was my passion, but I loved them too much and kept them all ! There are two books that I have read that I found very useful but I found only for the moment as I don't know if this is a trait but I have a very poor memory, I will decide to keep Wednesday afternoons clear just for sorting and tidying and then completely forget. I did abuse alcohol and drugs but I think thats a lazy prognosis I also dont agree with using the "Its your age" card either I realise thats a bit of a closed statement but so are those two opinions - a bit too easy and final for me as I'm now very healthy I exercise and eat all the right things to keep my mind in a good place.

I feel extremely positive about reaching my goals at the moment, your support gives me hope and enthusiasm

Many Thanks

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…..it almost feels like I'm waiting for someone, possibly a parent….

I can understand that, the problem I guess is…hoarding being what it is, even if someone offered to sort through and throw away what they consider should go….it would probably cause you more anxiety if they took control away.

In an ideal world a therapist (like a parent) would pay a home visit and be there supporting you while you sort through the items…..but they'll also help you unpick why you feel you need to hang onto certain items and what you fear might happen if they were thrown or given away, Having that strong cognitive foundation firmly in place, the next step of actually letting the last things go would hopefully be a lot easier to cope with.

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I now have the best Doctor I've ever had but sadly all the local mental health units are at breaking point and I'm seen as managing, but as I've put back to my Doctor managing isn't a great place to be. 

It’s not right is it…so many people here have found themselves in the same boat. I appreciate the NHS is under extreme pressure, but I’ve never understood why they don’t seem to appreciate it’s more cost effective to help someone before a situation worsens. Keep badgering your GP though for a referral, and as I say, if needs be we can provide some advocacy if you hit a brick wall.

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If you know of any good self help books pertinent to this please recommend.

Absolutely, a good un’ recommended by the charity is ‘Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding,’ available from our store here but if you don’t want to accumulate more things, it may be available from ‘Books on Prescription’ - I hadn’t heard of their service until relatively recently….here’s another link it might be worth checking them out......

......along with Angst's book recommendation, an article that's also pretty good (all Fred Penzel's are) is 'Saving the World - Compulsive Hoarding" available here.......

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 I feel extremely positive about reaching my goals at the moment.....

..........that positivity and motivation really comes through from your posts Rob, having that attitude will make a huge difference:) 

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Hi Hal

Apologies for my late reply. I always seem to be chasing my tail, I think its part of OCD or having a full or cluttered mind I'm not really sure but as you're aware its all work in progress. Thanks for your ongoing support, the scenario of having a hands on therapist is exactly the luxury I seek, it would be great to have that assistance and then support in the aftermath. Coincidently I've found a fellow sufferer in Dover and she's perhaps in a worse place then me - I've thought about perhaps offering to help her if she helps me as I can be quite objective about other peoples hoarding and I would also understand her fears and anxiety and vice versa.

I've ordered the Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding from the library and I totally recognise myself in Fred Penzel's writing. I think I've enough to keep me going at the moment but will be using the forum more in the future.

Thanks again

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31 minutes ago, Rob Gardner said:

Coincidently I've found a fellow sufferer in Dover and she's perhaps in a worse place then me - I've thought about perhaps offering to help her if she helps me as I can be quite objective about other peoples hoarding and I would also understand her fears and anxiety and vice versa.

I would be careful with this Rob.  Don't get me wrong, it could be a useful exercise to do but we have seen on the forum many times where people have become too dependent on others leading to problems for both parties. My advice would be to focus on getting yourself better or at least well down the recovery road before focussing on helping others.

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Hi Ashley

Thanks your advice and I will take heed and not go ahead with the plan. I haven't mentioned anything to my customers partner as apart from anything I seem to be too busy myself - but I think this is possibly diversion ? if it is, its engrained and needs to be unlearnt. Of course I could just be busy !

I also wanted to air the scenario here to see how others felt about it. I thought it would be heaven having found someone that understands rather than the usual help which is usually something like, I'll clear the lot for you, when you get home it'll be gone" or "What you need is a decent fire" I've also had a person surreptitiously throwing things away or family members just making space for me. Which as you can imagine hasnt ended well

From a selfish point of few I would have had a person with a similar set of values where we could have perhaps started on what to keep and work backwards rather than the "What should we get rid off" task. I really do want a practical hand with this task. At this point I feel I have all the tools required to take the task on I'm just unable to do it.

I'll read the recommended books and re-evaluate. The fellow sufferer isn't going anywhere fast. 

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