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Moral OCD. Need help!


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Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum. Was wonderig if enyone is experiensing anything similar to what I'm going through. I had OCD since my childhood. All those intruisive thoughts, they don't bother me anymore like they used to. I just don't care about them because I now know it's my OCD. But now I have this moral OCD. and it's just the worst. I can't pass the homeless without having this urge to give money and if I don't It's like I've made an unforgivable sin and I have to punish myself. And I used to punish my self. For example, I would not listen to music the whole weekend as a punishment or I would not do something else that I enjoy doing. But I was strong enough to stop doing even that and I thought I was really beating this  freaking OCD. Unfortunately a month ago this thought came to my mind. There is this woman where I live, she helps people that have health issues by non traditional methods. And now I feel like I have to tell all the sick  people  I get to know about that there is this woman. Email them, call them, whatever, even if they live in another part of the world (tell me it is crazy, cause I don't know anymore) . Even on the street, if I see someone that might need help I feel like I have to run to them and tell them. I don't want to do it, but then I think what if God wants me to do it, and then I think, if he wanted me to do it he would let me know it and it would not make me suffer.  I don't know what to do, I can't live my live because of this. I want to convince myself that I can not save the world and that I have to think about my self for once, but I just can't. I cry, I want to scream I feel so much anger and then guilt just because of this one thought that came to my mind. I lost weight, I just want to lay in bed, this guilt is kiIling me.I feel like I'm on a mission. But how can this be the right thing to do when it mekes me suffer so much. It feels like I'm in hell now and I feel so guilty. Moral OCD  is just unbearable mostly because it doesn't feel like OCD, it feels like the right thing to do, but somehow feels so wrong if you know what I mean. I guess I just need someone to tell me that it is OCD. Did anyone have anything like this? Or does anything I wrote sound  rational? I would  appreciate all the answers. Thank you all.

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Hi Dreamerr,

Welcome to the forum!  This sounds very much like OCD.  I deal with very similar themes and issues, so you're definitely not alone (I think this theme in OCD is actually fairly common).  You might want to check out the website OCD Online and look at the article called 'Guilt Beyond A Reasonable Doubt'.  It talks about just this kind of theme with morality and hyper-responsibility.  Have you looked into CBT and ERP treatment at all for tackling the OCD?

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Hi Dreamerr, I am an ex-sufferer of Scrupulosity aka Religious aks Moral OCD. 

Firstly, I am not a doctor or psychiatrist, I can't diagnosis and say you have OCD. I can only say that I have suffered in a similar manner as you have.

One of the most important things I did to emerge from Scrupulosity was to stop to the Guilt Trip. Stop punishing and blaming myself and stop the mental self-flagellation. 

The medicine that this woman practises may not be suitable for everybody. Those who are sick would in general have already seeked medical help and would in general have their family members taking care of them. You are not responsible for their well-being. It is indeed noble of you to feel concern for your fellow human being but at the same time,you have to realise there is a limit to how much a single person can do, the duty of care and responsibility lies with those who are closest to the sick and their medical care provider, not you.

There are also plenty of other kind people in this world, I believe this forum has its fair share of them.

Don't worry, Nature takes care of itself. Just because you don't give money to this man on the street doesn't mean he would not get money from someone else a while later. Give everyone a chance to be a good Samaritan. There are also lots of kind people in this world. Don't hoard all the good deeds to yourself, ; )

In my humble opinion, kindness starts from being kind to yourself first. Stop feeling guilty, and be kind to yourself, give yourself some love, pick yourself up, take a nice warm shower, have something warm to drink, contact a good friend whom you trust and able to give you support and seek medical advice. 

Take Care and Peace be with you in Mind and Spirit.

 

 

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12 minutes ago, St Mike said:

Hi Dreamerr, I am an ex-sufferer of Scrupulosity aka Religious aks Moral OCD. 

Firstly, I am not a doctor or psychiatrist, I can't diagnosis and say you have OCD. I can only say that I have suffered in a similar manner as you have.

One of the most important things I did to emerge from Scrupulosity was to stop to the Guilt Trip. Stop punishing and blaming myself and stop the mental self-flagellation. 

The medicine that this woman practises may not be suitable for everybody. Those who are sick would in general have already seeked medical help and would in general have their family members taking care of them. You are not responsible for their well-being. It is indeed noble of you to feel concern for your fellow human being but at the same time,you have to realise there is a limit to how much a single person can do, the duty of care and responsibility lies with those who are closest to the sick and their medical care provider, not you.

There are also plenty of other kind people in this world, I believe this forum has its fair share of them.

Don't worry, Nature takes care of itself. Just because you don't give money to this man on the street doesn't mean he would not get money from someone else a while later. Give everyone a chance to be a good Samaritan. There are also lots of kind people in this world. Don't hoard all the good deeds to yourself, ; )

In my humble opinion, kindness starts from being kind to yourself first. Stop feeling guilty, and be kind to yourself, give yourself some love, pick yourself up, take a nice warm shower, have something warm to drink, contact a good friend whom you trust and able to give you support and seek medical advice. 

Take Care and Peace be with you in Mind and Spirit.

 

 

What a beautiful reply and wonderful piece of advice! I absolutely agree with all of the above, be kind to yourself and the rest will follow xxx

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Thank you all for the support. That is exactly what my rational self thinks. I just wish that this rational part of me was stronger than the OCD part. It is just guilt and guilt and guilt, this is what I feel... But I will try, somehow.

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In my case the OCD fed off my guilt. Once I "starved" the OCD of my guilt, it started to shrivel and die. 

Don't give up and allow the problem to overcome you.

Contact your medical care professional for evaluation and treatment, there are also plenty of articles about OCD and CBT on the OCD UK website as well as many others. Read and keep yourself informed. Before you can solve a problem, you have to understand it first. Anyway, by doing so, it also serves as a wholesome activity/"distraction" from the thoughts of guilt too.

Keep you chin up and stop the mental self-flagellation, replace it with kindness and love towards yourself.

Cheers.

* A Hi and Greetings to OceanDweller and Wonderer, wishing you guys wellness in mind and spirit. 

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