Haven't been in a while.

[findingithard]

I've been doing relatively ok considering.

I have two children now and I'm still with the same partner and things are not so bad but last night I guess I had a bit of a relapse and I'm not sure if this is new to my ocd but it feels as though it is and it's got my head in bits.

Basically after my partner and I were intimate I realised that I didn't really have many thoughts during it and I was quite proud but then I started thinking of a situation of my partner going into my daughters room etc and harming her but I understand that they're thoughts but its how detailed they were that's got to me.

Like from him opening the door to taking her clothes off and harming her.

I then obviously realised that I was playing it out in my head and started to panic. 

 

What's got to me is the fact I just let myself play a thought out in my head like it was nothing? 

I want to believe it's ocd but I'm petrified it isn't:( I'm hoping I thought of this in detail to see if I would want to happen and to see if it would feel like I did as some thoughts really do feel like I want them to happen. 

Any advice would be appreciated. 

[OceanDweller]

17 minutes ago, findingithard said:

I've been doing relatively ok considering.

I have two children now and I'm still with the same partner and things are not so bad but last night I guess I had a bit of a relapse and I'm not sure if this is new to my ocd but it feels as though it is and it's got my head in bits.

Basically after my partner and I were intimate I realised that I didn't really have many thoughts during it and I was quite proud but then I started thinking of a situation of my partner going into my daughters room etc and harming her but I understand that they're thoughts but its how detailed they were that's got to me.

Like from him opening the door to taking her clothes off and harming her.

I then obviously realised that I was playing it out in my head and started to panic. 

 

What's got to me is the fact I just let myself play a thought out in my head like it was nothing? 

I want to believe it's ocd but I'm petrified it isn't:( I'm hoping I thought of this in detail to see if I would want to happen and to see if it would feel like I did as some thoughts really do feel like I want them to happen. 

Any advice would be appreciated. 

Hi. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time currently. Is there any evidence to suggest that what you're imagining has happened or might happen in the future?

[findingithard]

Hi. Thank you for responding.

Definitely hasn'the happened and it definitely wouldn't happen either. I would kill anyone who ever hurt my children. 

What's bothering me is that I let the thought continue, like play out in my head? I don't know whether I was checking my reaction or what.

 

[OceanDweller]

46 minutes ago, findingithard said:

Hi. Thank you for responding.

Definitely hasn'the happened and it definitely wouldn't happen either. I would kill anyone who ever hurt my children. 

What's bothering me is that I let the thought continue, like play out in my head? I don't know whether I was checking my reaction or what.

 

I'm sure you're right. I only asked as it's the first question I ask myself whenever I have intrusive thoughts. The best course of action is to accept it as a symptom of OCD, allow it to linger for as long as it wishes, then forget about it. It's utterly meaningless, and requires no further evaluation, as I imagine you already know.

[findingithard]

17 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

I'm sure you're right. I only asked as it's the first question I ask myself whenever I have intrusive thoughts. The best course of action is to accept it as a symptom of OCD, allow it to linger for as long as it wishes, then forget about it. It's utterly meaningless, and requires no further evaluation, as I imagine you already know.

Thank you. It means a lot that you've taken your time to reply to me.

You're right. Just accept as ocd and try and move on.

[OceanDweller]

16 minutes ago, findingithard said:

Thank you. It means a lot that you've taken your time to reply to me.

You're right. Just accept as ocd and try and move on.

You're welcome. Sounds like you just needed a quick reminder of what you already knew. Take care and good luck.