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Hi,

Thanks for reading this. I posted on these forums some time ago about my wife who suffers from a variety of OCD compulsions and behaviours including, but not limited to, fear of contamination, fear of hurting others, fear of stains/blood/semen, obsessive checking and so on. It has been a really tough 5 years for us and we have a four year old who I worry is starting to pick up more and more on what her Mummy is doing and it scares me that she might start to take on some of these behaviours. 

My wife did nearly 2 years of CBT with a therapist she really liked and it definitely helped - but it is clearly not enough. She was suicidal and not really functioning but she is now - she has a job and is a great mother. But she still finds it hard to cope with daily life and I am finding it increasingly hard to deal with and am at the end of my tether with it. She was recommended to try EMDR and has been seeing someone for about 10 sessions now but I am not seeing any progress (the therapist is confident of progress and says it will take time). My feeling is that CBT and EMDR are good for my wife but are only taking her so far and not far enough. What else can we try? Does anyone have experience of residential places, more intensive treatments, anything else? She was on antidepressants for some time but came off them about a year ago. She doesn't want to go back on them partly because we would like another child soon (which in part feels wonderful but also terrifies me as being pregnant last time was part of what made her so ill in the first place).

Thanks so much for any advice...

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21 minutes ago, stepforward said:

My wife did nearly 2 years of CBT with a therapist she really liked and it definitely helped - but it is clearly not enough.

This in itself rings alarm bells for me, I don't believe a course of therapy for OCD should last two years, if it's not working after 10/12 months nearly always time to move on to a different therapist, perhaps with more experience of OCD.

Generally EMDR is not a recommended treatment for OCD (I don't think I've seen it actually help anyone yet), and we don't recommend other treatments, the only thing we recommend is CBT, preferably with an experienced therapist. 

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Thank you for your reply @Ashley. It is hard to keep believing that CBT will help after so long. We have spoken to a couple of other therapists this morning so maybe she will try a new one for some time. I would be interested to know if anyone has had success after so long in CBT (when it didn't work at first) or if anyone has had any success with EMDR. Or even tried both together?

Thank you...

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5 minutes ago, stepforward said:

It is hard to keep believing that CBT will help after so long.

I don't think the length of CBT is the issue, it really comes down to the therapist knowledge (assuming we as sufferers, do our bit and actually face the fear of therapy exercises).  Sometimes we have to keep trying until we find the right therapist to help us move forward.

Are you going private?  Where in the UK are you? I can recommend some OCD experts but they're Kent/London based and charge £110+ plus per session.

I really would suggest not putting too much emphasis on EMDR, it may work of course, but I realistically I would be absolutely amazed if it did. 

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Hi stepforward,

Two years of CBT has achieved a return to work and functioning as a parent and those are notable successes not to be underestimated. Sometimes judging progress is about remembering where you started as well as looking at where you finish! :) 

That daily life is still a struggle suggests your wife's way of thinking about perceived threats hasn't changed which is why the OCD keeps recurring with a variety of themes. There is no set timetable for changing how you interpret the world, but a different therapist who puts more emphasis on cognitive than behavioural therapy may be able to give her a new perspective on the process. 

I second Ashley on the ineffectiveness of EMDR. I don't know of any evidence-based research that shows it helps in OCD. Personally I believe a number of therapists are using it inappropriately in 'resistant' OCD cases because they feel they have nothing else to offer. In my opinion, if a therapist views you as a resistant case or starts trying unproven methods it's time to try a new therapist. 

Commitment from your wife to change is vital and there's no better incentive than planning an extension to your family. :) From this point on it's about getting the right kind of CBT so you can confidently plan a pregnancy without medication.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks @snowbear - I really appreciate your message. Pleased to say we have had a good week after a real crisis at the weekend - it seems that sometimes a crisis is needed for us to find more positive ways forward - not a positive cycle but right now it feels we are in a slightly better place. I am interest that you and @Ashley and others feel EMDR is not a useful therapy. At the same time it seems a lot of CBT therapists are suggesting people use it and are finding it useful in addition to CBT as long as it is used in the right way. I would still like to find out if anyone has a positive experience of EMDR.

Snowbear - thanks for the reminder to be positive about how far we have come. We really have and it is easy to forget that sometimes.

 

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