OCD help please! Anger, Anxiety

[boogiewoogie12]

Hi I've been suffering with OCD for years now atleast 10 or more. It has got much worse in the last 6 or so but ive been able to manage it as much as I can. I still do stupid compulsions and have stupid obsessions which I cant stop. I have got a few books on CBT for OCD but they always seem to focus on OCD's which I do not have, then I find it hard to think of how to fix my OCD. 

I have germ problems but I know how to stop that one and the books are full of support on that. The OCD i find the most painful and upsetting is my fear of loved ones dying. I know everyone dies one day, but I find this really hard to cope with. I fear my family will get cancer or some other horrid disease (I have a bad fear of cancer as lots of people in my family have had it, either died from it or terminal.) Does anyone know of any books that focus on OCD fears of death and loved ones dying. I do not fear my own death, I wish I would get a bad disease in place of my family members. I know I need to start thinking "everyone dies, they might die, they might get cancer etc" and "if i do or dont do this it may mean people will get cancer, die etc." but thats too hard, i know its stupid and unrealistic but i still fear its a chance it could happen and i could have prevented it by doing some stupid thing like making sure the soap has no bubbles on it! 

I keep getting really angry at stupid minor stuff as well as its making me hate myself. I have noticed when i am on my period my OCD and anger issues rocket! Its horrible!

 

thanks x

[Gerard]

Hi BoogieWoogie,

Thank you for your post and I am dreadfully sorry you're suffering. I reckon everyone on this website can relate to being gripped by obsessions and my heart goes out to you.

The main thing to remember is that you must not do battle with the thoughts or try to get rid of them. That will only make them worse. The thing to do is be mindful of the fact that the thoughts are meaningless. They have no grounding in reality. You only have them and carry out  your compulsions because...you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder  

Now, as a fellow sufferer, I am all too aware that all this is far easier said than done (I am going through a rough patch myself at the moment) but, with the guidance of the angels on this website, I have been practising the following self-help treatments and they are helping A LOT):

 

A) The 4 Steps. Do you know about them? They go like this:

1) Relabel: This is thought has no basis in reality – it is an obsession. I don’t need to think about it – I have a compulsive urge to think about it.

2) Reattribute: I have this obsession and this compulsion not because they are grounded in truth but because I have OCD.

3) Refocus: I am not going to ruminate about this obsession. I am going to do another behaviour for at least 15 minutes.

4) Revalue: You see? The thought is not significant and has no basis in reality.

 

B) Exercise - it forces you out of your mind and in to your body. Also it stimulates the secretion of endorphins (the body's own "happy chemical") and relaxed you.

 

C) I've started mindfulness meditation with the Headspace app. It's early days but everyone tells me how much it's helped them with their OCD so I am going to persevere.

 

I do hope this helps. Just remember you're not alone. We've all been where you are now and it will pass.

Love and light,

Gerard

[HDC]

Fab advise Gerard! And glad you've started using headspace, hopefully it will offer you some moments of relief and possibly help you on your way to recovery. I find sometimes that obsessive thoughts can be questions that check the validity of the thoughts previous... I don't need to answer these questions, it's just the ocd reminding me that it wants me to think about it! 

[Gerard]

1 minute ago, HDC said:

Fab advise Gerard! And glad you've started using headspace, hopefully it will offer you some moments of relief and possibly help you on your way to recovery. I find sometimes that obsessive thoughts can be questions that check the validity of the thoughts previous... I don't need to answer these questions, it's just the ocd reminding me that it wants me to think about it! 

Thanks, HDC - you helped me so much yesterday.

Yes, indeed - it's the "What if...?" syndrome, isn't it?

One of the great things the people on this website taught is the following rule:

Every "What if...?" question is OCD!

Love and thanks once again. I hope you're doing well and please allow me to support you if you're going through a hard time.

G x

[HDC]

It's not a what if question... is asking if I want to cause harm etc.... this could be a compulsion I suppose but I think whatever it is it's trying to get me to pay attention?! Either way I don't need to answer? Am I right?

[HDC]

3 minutes ago, Gerard said:

Thanks, HDC - you helped me so much yesterday

No worries; glad I could help! 

Harriot x

[Ashley]

10 minutes ago, HDC said:

It's not a what if question... is asking if I want to cause harm etc.... this could be a compulsion I suppose but I think whatever it is it's trying to get me to pay attention?! Either way I don't need to answer? Am I right

Mmm, is this not what we discussed in another thread earlier (not having a go, just trying to follow what is happening)?  I sense a second compulsion (of needing reassurance) about the need to answer (in itself a compulsion). 

[HDC]

5 minutes ago, Ashley said:

Mmm, is this not what we discussed in another thread earlier (not having a go, just trying to follow what is happening)? 

Possibly! Sorry if I'm repeating myself... you're most likely right. I'm not answering it anyway. 

[Ashley]

No need to be sorry, just thought I would highlight what I was seeing, so you could too

[HDC]

Can you have compulsions and not necessarily have obsessive thoughts anymore? 

[boogiewoogie12]

2 hours ago, Gerard said:

Hi BoogieWoogie,

Thank you for your post and I am dreadfully sorry you're suffering. I reckon everyone on this website can relate to being gripped by obsessions and my heart goes out to you.

The main thing to remember is that you must not do battle with the thoughts or try to get rid of them. That will only make them worse. The thing to do is be mindful of the fact that the thoughts are meaningless. They have no grounding in reality. You only have them and carry out  your compulsions because...you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder  

Now, as a fellow sufferer, I am all too aware that all this is far easier said than done (I am going through a rough patch myself at the moment) but, with the guidance of the angels on this website, I have been practising the following self-help treatments and they are helping A LOT):

 

A) The 4 Steps. Do you know about them? They go like this:

1) Relabel: This is thought has no basis in reality – it is an obsession. I don’t need to think about it – I have a compulsive urge to think about it.

2) Reattribute: I have this obsession and this compulsion not because they are grounded in truth but because I have OCD.

3) Refocus: I am not going to ruminate about this obsession. I am going to do another behaviour for at least 15 minutes.

4) Revalue: You see? The thought is not significant and has no basis in reality.

 

B) Exercise - it forces you out of your mind and in to your body. Also it stimulates the secretion of endorphins (the body's own "happy chemical") and relaxed you.

 

C) I've started mindfulness meditation with the Headspace app. It's early days but everyone tells me how much it's helped them with their OCD so I am going to persevere.

 

I do hope this helps. Just remember you're not alone. We've all been where you are now and it will pass.

Love and light,

Gerard

Thank you Gerard, If you need any support please feel free to message too.

Hope you are ok.

 

Thanks x

[Ashley]

1 hour ago, HDC said:

Can you have compulsions and not necessarily have obsessive thoughts anymore? 

Yes absolutely HDC. This usually happens over time where the original obsessive fear/worry led to compulsive behaviours which become habitulised, and over time the habit becomes the new norm, with the original fear/worry being somewhat forgot, leaving a 'feeling' of needing to complete the compulsion.

[HDC]

That literally sums up completely what I'm going through! This explains where all the questions are coming from!!! I just feel like I need to make sure that it's not wanted... checking again!!!