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After moving house last year to a completely different area and picking a house with number 13, i do feel unsettled, I've started to have really severe bouts of ocd like I used to when I was was first diagnosed 17 years ago, after being triggered by news stories.  

I'm convinced I'm a bad person and I'm going to break the ocd mould and end up in prison and every ones going to hate me, and what makes it more likely to happen now is because I now live at number 13 which is bad luck, I can't seem to shake it off.

 I've always had these kind of thoughts, I've had cbt a few times over the years and do really well after, which has really helped.  I just can't understand why I've started to have bad bouts,  I know I'm ruminating and not supposed to be, i just can't seem to let the thoughts go and pay no attention to them.

My husband talks freely about his illness and I have to keep mine secret like some sordid secret which also makes my ocd worse, I'm not allowed to be ill like someone with cancer (my husband), and cant talk to anyone about it.

Sorry to go on I'm just really struggling to cope with everything at the moment.

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I can well relate to your terrors, Lemon. Harm OCD was how my OCD started and it is terrible beyond terrible.

But great news: you're not alone and they pass:yes:

I'm using the following strategies to help me. Give them a go and see what you think:

(A) The 4 Steps:

1) Relabel: This is thought has no basis in reality – it is an obsession. I don’t need to think about it – I have a compulsive urge to think about it.

2) Reattribute: I have this obsession and this compulsion not because they are grounded in truth but because I have OCD.

3) Refocus: I am not going to ruminate about this obsession. I am going to do another behaviour for at least 15 minutes.

4) Revalue: You see? The thought is not significant.

This is not a normal thought, it is an obsession. Ruminating about it is a compulsion. I have this obsession and compulsion because I have OCD – no other reason. I’m now going to refocus on doing another activity for at least 15 minutes. I will then revalue the original thought and see that it is meaningless, empty, has no basis in reality and is nothing whatsoever to do with who I really am.

(B) Exercise - I find this REALLY helpful.

and

(C) Meditation - I've just started this with the Headspace app. Everyone tells me how great it's been for their OCD so I'm going to persevere.

You're not alone, dear lady. We can all relate to what you're going through. So sleep well and stay close.

Love,

G x

 

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Thank you gerard, you do feel so alone.

Polarbear I know I'm ruminating and know I'm making it worse 10 fold.

My ocd makes me think it's not ocd, that's another barrier too, I think that's what keeps the ruminating going.

Also when I'm poorly I don't feel like myself.

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