Awful thoughts

[Lisa davis]

OK this is hard to actually talk about but I feel a desperate need to talk about what has just happened.  So I stopped to help a girl who had hurt herself on her bike, and held her bike so she could get off. She was shouting back at her parents as they were not quick enough (in her opinon) to get to her to help. We were on top of a bridge so they could not see us properly. I'm now having awful thoughts, what if she said I touched her inappropriatly? I had my own daughter with me at the time and I do actually know this family, my son Is in the same school class as her sister. 

I'm finding this period of my life so distressing and as soon as I feel I've made progress with my health theme, I'm now stressing about this. I worry how I sound right now , and hope that you guys somehow may understand 

[Chelsie]

Absolutely understand. However, I'm also completely sure that her parents are really grateful to you for helping.  I'm in awe of you for stopping and helping, despite the fact that doing so might set off your OCD. That's real bravery and facing your fears.  One of the things that makes me feel very guilty is that my contamination OCD makes me hang back from any kind of first aid situation, in the hope that someone else will step in and sort it out and I can avoid putting myself into a situation that might make me anxious after the fact. 

[Lisa davis]

Thank you Chelsie. That means a lot to me right now. In fact both parents did thank me but uli think because I'm so poorly at the moment my OCD is running away with me.

My first ever theme was contamination so I know first hand exactly what you mean. I couldn't touch door handles, go shopping etc. Life was really tough back then. I still do not think I could help out if someone was bleeding profusely in the street though, even after as far as I have come so your not alone there. 

[Emsie]

Hi Lisa, 

I can totally understand and empathise. OCD lies to us all the time and that's what's happened today after you did a lovely thing by helping the girl on her bike. 

Try your very best not to ruminate over it or perform any other compulsions. The anxiety will come down. 

Be strong and remember it's an OCD lie. 

Best wishes,

Em x

Edited August 17, 2017 by Emsie

[Lisa davis]

Thank you Emsie, I wish I had found this forum before. Just having people empathise and understand you without judgement is in itself a marvellous thing. 

I've found myself back in the claws of OCD after managing very well for several years. In that time I have forgotten all that CBT taught me so am struggling to know what to do with these horrid thoughts. Now I have a 12 month wait for further CBT.

I am truly thankful for your reply as I need reminding of what I'm to do to be rid of such things. Thank you x

 

[PolarBear]

What you do about the thoughts is nothing. It's just a thought. Give it no attention. Get on with your day.

[Emsie]

40 minutes ago, Lisa davis said:

Thank you Emsie, I wish I had found this forum before. Just having people empathise and understand you without judgement is in itself a marvellous thing. 

I've found myself back in the claws of OCD after managing very well for several years. In that time I have forgotten all that CBT taught me so am struggling to know what to do with these horrid thoughts. Now I have a 12 month wait for further CBT.

I am truly thankful for your reply as I need reminding of what I'm to do to be rid of such things. Thank you x

 

You are so welcome Lisa. This forum is a wonderful place and I'm glad you've found it. I only found it in May and it's been a god send. 

I totally understand too when you say you've found yourself back in its claws, my OCD went for 18 months when my daughter was born and then it came back with a vengeance about 8 months ago. I'm waiting for CBT too, but in the meantime I'm learning loads of tools from the wonderful people on here. Ask away on the forum for support and advice.  Also, the most highly recommended book on the forum for self help is 'Break Free from OCD', you could perhaps read that in the interim period before your CBT starts as a reminder. Just a thought. X

 

[Cub]

How kind of you to stop and help this girl! OCD can jump on anything, I find; I've had similar situations like this myself. Don't worry, I'm sure the parents could see you were helping, especially as you were familiar with the family.  I hope you feel better in the morning.