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Flirting and eye contact


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Does anyone who experiences guilt/flirt OCD ever have an issue with looking at someone who you find attractive (which I acknowledge is a normal human thing to do from time to time), then looking at them to see if they've looked at you and making eye contact and then feeling guilty that you enjoyed the eye contact or WANTED the person to know you were looking at them?

I'm in a loving relationship and I am very happy but this seems to happen a lot.

I can't tell if it's normal human interaction which I've just broken down to the tiniest detail, some strange compulsion that I happen to get and rush off, or me cheating and invalidating my relationship (or all four)...

 

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A rule with my wife is we're allowed to look at the menu but we go home for dinner.

The issue is not the eye contact. It's that your brain gets stuck on thinking about the eye contact. Try thinking, "Yeah whatever" and get on with your day.

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Thank you. In theory that makes sense and I realise that's the point of this ba*tard illness, but it's the thoughts I have during the eye contact - "I want you to know I'm looking at you" - but it's like I only think that once the eye contact has been made. Or I linger that little bit too long and get off on it. It's like I'm sick and blaming the OCD feels like a cop-out. 

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I get this loads, I feel very guilty very easily over attraction to other people. There is a woman at work I have a crush on and I feel guilty for doing so as I am married with a son. I have spent many hours ruminating over her and does it mean I want to leave my wife? does she like me?. I almost want to tell her or at least hint that I like her, however I am not sure what this would achieve? 

I tend to make eye contact with her when we chat, I worry if this is appropriate or not? is it normal in general conversation to make eye contact or should we/ I look away? I analyse constantly and over think it. 

I am generally content in my marriage and find the less I think of the subject of my crush the happier and calmer I feel. I think OCD is meddling in normal human instincts. Trying to figure it out causes me distress, leaving it alone makes me happier.

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Thank you. In theory that makes sense and I realise that's the point of this ba*tard illness, but it's the thoughts I have during the eye contact - "I want you to know I'm looking at you" - but it's like I only think that once the eye contact has been made. Or I linger that little bit too long and get off on it. It's like I'm sick and blaming the OCD feels like a cop-out. 


 

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