Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Brennan

keep getting thoughts about being gay but knowing I am 100% not

Recommended Posts

from a young age I have suffered from anxiety like at the age of 7 things like worrying about death but I have got over that now I know that it happens and there is nothing I can do so I don't bother worrying about that anymore so my anxiety calmed for a while and then when I was around 14 I had this randomly come up I think it was when somone said "are you gay or something" because I was messing about with my friend fighting so probably around 2 weeks passed but didn't think about it at the time but then something else happend I can't remember exactly but It made me think wait what if I'm gay? knowing im not and I'm straight and then 2 months went by of this and it just went.

recently i have been under a lot of stress/anxiety because I have been ill lately worrying a lot etc so I think this may have been caused by just a lot of stress and I cracked and now I have these thoughts again I am walking down the road etc looking at men like I never had before thinking "your a good looking guy" then thinking "I'm gay" then saying in my head no im not I know 100% I'm straight and it's like 50%of my brain is the horrible thoughts and the other 50% is just normal me and its really messing with my head.

I am now at the point where I just don't know what's  normal and my head just hurts like when your trying to concentrate but you can't  it's like that feeling and I have spoke to my mum about it because thats what helped me when I had anxiety and I have a doctor's appointment so from now it's just trying to cope and it's like I'm just looking at men differently like anylising them trying to see wether im atracted to them knowing in my head that I'm not and I get this weird felling like I'm attracted to them knowing I'm not and now when I look at women I don't feel as attracted to them as I used to be like my sex drive has just dropped massively in comparison to how it used to be any advice would be great but it all feels so horrible and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone 

Edited by Brennan

Share this post


Link to post

thanks for the reply I am not at the minute but definitely hope too this is horibble I have a doctor's appointment in a couple of days 

 

Share this post


Link to post

Hi Brennan. This is an especially cruel form of OCD to get when you are young and figuring out who you are. What you have described sounds like OCD. It's the looking at men, the intrusive thoughts about being gay, the compulsion to figure it out but not being able to.

You are not alone. I had the exact same thing as a teenager and young man. It sucked. Now I know that help is available in the firm of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. See what your doctor says and please do come back if you have any questions. 

Share this post


Link to post

thanks for the reply yeah at the minute I have this weird feeling like going from suddenly panicking about the thought to then not caring like I'm ok with it that also is messing with my head and yeah hopefully the doctor can get me some help 

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...