lily17 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Hello I’m so scared to post this because I feel like this isn’t OCD anymore. So I was on the train with my mum and sister and there were a lot of people which was making me terribly anxious and my sister made this pose and I looked at her and had a groinal response that seemed enjoyable, like I genuinely liked the feeling and I also feel that I liked staring at her body and I just can’t deal with this anymore, why does it feel SO real??? I’ve been trying to just label it as OCD but I can’t, please help me understand why I liked this Link to comment
lily17 Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 Please, someone help me. I don’t want to be a pedophile and I feel like I’m turning into one. I’ve never liked groinal responses before??? (except one and it’s because I focused on the feeling) but this time I was looking at my sister and had one and it felt enjoyable somehow??? I’m so perturbated. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I know it's scary. You had an intrusive thought or several of them when you looked at your sister. Coupled with that you had an intrusive sensation. These upset you and caused your anxiety level to rise. You were in distress. In response I imagine you spent a significant amount of time trying to figure it out. There's the compulsion. Obsessions that cause distress and leads to compulsions equals OCD. It's as simple as that. Of course it feels real. If it didn't feel real you wouldn't have freaked out and you wouldn't have a disorder. OCD thoughts come from the same place as all your other thoughts, your brain. Of course they're going to seem real. Now try to slow down your ruminating. No good will come from you analyzing what happened. Shrug it off and get involved doing something else. Link to comment
lily17 Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 So me liking the groinal response was also an intrusive feeling coupled with it? I’ve been trying not to ruminate so much about this but it feels so genuine, jeez... Also what do you mean that I had intrusive thoughts when I looked at my sister? I didn’t, at least nothing like a sexual scenario popped into my mind Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Maybe not an intrusive thought but you had an intrusive feeling. Thinking you liked it was unwanted, popped into your head and caused you distress. That's the definition of an obsession. Link to comment
lily17 Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 I get what you mean, but it’s hard to just label it as OCD cause the “liking” feeling felt genuine. Anyway, thank you so much PolarBear. Link to comment
runawaythoughts Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 (edited) I have read myself, alot of posts on OCD forums to help with my own issues, you're not alone in these kind of thoughts. And I think many more people than you would think have these kind of thoughts, the difference is that they wouldn't worry or obsess over them and just brush them away and completely forget the thought ever popped into their mind. OCD taunts us with the things we hate the most. Try not to "understand" and instead, realise we all have different thoughts, some of which we find unpleasant but we're human and it does happen, and rather than ruminate, accept instead these thoughts will pop up but it does come from OCD and we need to not let it take over. Edited October 7, 2017 by runawaythoughts Link to comment
lily17 Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 On 07/10/2017 at 17:26, lily17 said: Hello I’m so scared to post this because I feel like this isn’t OCD anymore. So I was on the train with my mum and sister and there were a lot of people which was making me terribly anxious and my sister made this pose and I looked at her and had a groinal response that seemed enjoyable, like I genuinely liked the feeling and I also feel that I liked staring at her body and I just can’t deal with this anymore, why does it feel SO real??? I’ve been trying to just label it as OCD but I can’t, please help me understand why I liked this I'm ruminating about this now, I'm thinking I gave her a sexual look since I enjoyed looking at her body and I'm pretty sure she didn't notice but it was sexual harassment anyway and my grandma wants to take me to the hospital Link to comment
Caramoole Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 16 minutes ago, lily17 said: I'm ruminating about this now, I'm thinking I gave her a sexual look since I enjoyed looking at her body and I'm pretty sure she didn't notice but it was sexual harassment anyway and my grandma wants to take me to the hospital So what are you going to do to change your response Lily. If you carry on with the compulsions and don't try to change how you react, this fear will remain. What positive steps are you going to make to change this? Link to comment
Caramoole Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 16 minutes ago, lily17 said: I'm ruminating about this now, I'm thinking I gave her a sexual look since I enjoyed looking at her body and I'm pretty sure she didn't notice but it was sexual harassment anyway and my grandma wants to take me to the hospital So what are you going to do to change your response Lily. If you carry on with the compulsions and don't try to change how you react, this fear will remain. What positive steps are you going to make to change this? Link to comment
lily17 Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Caramoole said: So what are you going to do to change your response Lily. If you carry on with the compulsions and don't try to change how you react, this fear will remain. What positive steps are you going to make to change this? Is there a way of deleting all of my posts? Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 (edited) So nothing? I mean if you are not even considering taking in the advices from the knowledgeable people here what is the point posting? Edited November 7, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
Caramoole Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 5 hours ago, lily17 said: Is there a way of deleting all of my posts? What I'd like you to do is address what you're going to try and do to try and change your response to these intrusive thoughts You can change how you're feeling if you start to apply the advise. I know it's hard Lily but why the resistance to trying? Link to comment
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