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OCD in childhood?


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Hi all.

 

Been a while since I've been on here so hope you are all coping.

I just wondered does anyone ever look back at their childhood and think 'maybe I was always destined to end up this way?' I ask because I was looking for clues on my own that may of suggested I was going to end up this way and I remember a really random yet terrifying fear I used to have about getting diarrhea. When I did get it I was filled with the fear of god..like I was fatally ill. I also remember a boy in my class got it once..just once and I spent the next 6 years avoiding him! On break times I would watch to see where he was so I could be on the opposite side of the play yard. This sounds ridiculous now and I feel as though I acted a bit cruel towards him ( we were never really friends or anything and I was never nasty to him or mentioned it ) but I can't help but think was that just the taste of things to come? Does anyone else have hints like this? Was this the beginnings of OCD?

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Definitely. When I was 10, I would get intrusive thoughts about my dead grandfather. I also would count every single number I saw on the street (especially car plates) to sum them up, I used to do that ALL THE TIME and I also had magical thinking, which I still do... So yeah I believe those are my examples of OCD when I was younger :) 

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I also used to get intrusive thoughts when I was younger, expletive names about my dad to be precise I would always confess to him and cry with guilt... I was about 10 I suppose! Maybe I was born with OCD, Who knows

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1 hour ago, Stuyp89 said:

Does anyone else have hints like this? Was this the beginnings of OCD?

Of course that may have been aspects of OCD, most adults can remember traits in childhood. I am not sure if this is an exercise that helps or the risk of reinforcing negative thoughts about OCD.  What is of course a much more positive exercise is to imagine life without OCD in the future and what we will do with all that spare physical and mental energy and free time. :)  

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Thanks for replying people.

 

Ashley I'd love to think being OCD free were possible but I feel as if the older I get the worse the obsessions become. Though I must admit to becoming somewhat wiser about dealing with them. I've realised you simply cannot reason with them that's for sure all it will throw up in return to any mental argument is "yeah...but what if" and then you get caught in an endless cycle of futile ruminations. I've also realised the importance of keeping myself as healthy as possible... Alcohol, lack of sleep (especially lack of sleep) stress, illness always seem to make me vulnerable to having an obsession - like 90% of my obsessions occur when I'm run down. It's a monumental pain in the backside. I just wish scientists would hurry up and come up with a cure :(

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11 hours ago, lily17 said:

Definitely. When I was 10, I would get intrusive thoughts about my dead grandfather. I also would count every single number I saw on the street (especially car plates) to sum them up, I used to do that ALL THE TIME and I also had magical thinking, which I still do... So yeah I believe those are my examples of OCD when I was younger :) 

Hi Lily,

 

Yeah I also count things in my head. Especially street lights for some reason. Like each street light equals 3...the length of the light is 1 the length at the top that holds the light is 2 and the light itself is 3. Daft I know but I've always done it and I'll count them till I reach a 'solid' number... That could be 15 or 30 or 500 lol

Edited by Stuyp89
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18 minutes ago, Stuyp89 said:

Thanks for replying people.

 

Ashley I'd love to think being OCD free were possible but I feel as if the older I get the worse the obsessions become. Though I must admit to becoming somewhat wiser about dealing with them. I've realised you simply cannot reason with them that's for sure all it will throw up in return to any mental argument is "yeah...but what if" and then you get caught in an endless cycle of futile ruminations. I've also realised the importance of keeping myself as healthy as possible... Alcohol, lack of sleep (especially lack of sleep) stress, illness always seem to make me vulnerable to having an obsession - like 90% of my obsessions occur when I'm run down. It's a monumental pain in the backside. I just wish scientists would hurry up and come up with a cure :(

There is no better time to start the journey to getting better than now. 

I waited too long to get a diagnosis and get help. So I encourage people to go and get these soon as... 

When we are weak and stressed we can be more vulnerable to OCD. But we can change that. Learning CBT, preferably in structured therapy, but otherwise with self-help, teaches us how this disorder works and how to not respond to it. 

We can then gradually work to peel of the layers of rules and restrictions imposed upon us. 

As we work hard at therapy, we can unlearn unhelpful responses that strengthen the obsessions, and work towards a goal of rendering intrusions benign. 

I know, because I went on that journey - and I believed what I was told, not what the disorder said. 

There are many currently posting who are in a "beaten by this" psychology, but they don't have to be. Wailing and nashing of teeth won't help; joining the road to recovery and being prepared to work at it will.

 

Edited by taurean
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2 hours ago, Stuyp89 said:

I feel as if the older I get the worse the obsessions become.

Without the right treatment then yes OCD will get worse (sometimes sporadically), but age is not a barrier to recovery and completely overcoming our OCD :)

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3 hours ago, Stuyp89 said:

Hi Lily,

 

Yeah I also count things in my head. Especially street lights for some reason. Like each street light equals 3...the length of the light is 1 the length at the top that holds the light is 2 and the light itself is 3. Daft I know but I've always done it and I'll count them till I reach a 'solid' number... That could be 15 or 30 or 500 lol

Yes I know what you mean! Sometimes I have to count everything and it’s so annoying but the more you do it, the worse... :( 

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You don't "have to"  count everything Lily. Your brain is telling you to, you feel a resultant compulsive urge to, but you don't have to. 

CBT tells us how to gradually disarm that compulsive urge,and see the counting for what it really is - an unnecessary worthless ritual.

I had one as a child. I felt compelled to perform my counting ritual - counting in multiples up to a million - before I could "feel better". 

But I realised myself that this was pointless (though I didn't know it was OCD then)  and gradually weaned myself off it. 

For many, there is a threat fear if the ritual is not carried out.

For those with such a fear, then the CBT therapy using a behavioural experiment can be helpful. This uses theory A v theory B and details can be found using the search screen. 

 

Edited by taurean
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2 hours ago, taurean said:

You don't "have to"  count everything Lily. Your brain is telling you to, you feel a resultant compulsive urge to, but you don't have to. 

CBT tells us how to gradually disarm that compulsive urge,and see the counting for what it really is - an unnecessary worthless ritual.

I had one as a child. I felt compelled to perform my counting ritual - counting in multiples up to a million - before I could "feel better". 

But I realised myself that this was pointless (though I didn't know it was OCD then)  and gradually weaned myself off it. 

For many, there is a threat fear if the ritual is not carried out.

For those with such a fear, then the CBT therapy using a behavioural experiment can be helpful. This uses theory A v theory B and details can be found using the search screen. 

 

No sorry, I meant that I had the urge to count everything I saw and I always would gave into it. This obsession, luckily, faded away through time as well :) but it was such a pain because it provoked me so much anxiety if I didn’t count every single thing. I was little and didn’t know what it was either. Sorry for hijacking your thread somehow though, @Stuyp89

Edited by lily17
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Hello, 

Yes I definitely had OCD in childhood:

At 8 I had a compulsion to wash my hands 8x, started fearing germs and had distressing worries. 

At 9 I became obsessed with death and ageing. My germ worries were more significant so I would wash my hands in the classroom sink a lot and other kids would notice. I would also go for 7 hours at school without using the toilets (germs!).

At 10 my hands were red-raw and bleeding and I was terrified of contamination.

At 11 I started fearing that I would yell expletives at my teacher and once in secondary school that I would poison people with chemicals during chemistry lessons. 

At 12 I had scrupulosity thoughts, which have continued until this day. I also had 'Magical Contagion' thoughts about catching or transferring non-contagious illnesses and other silly things.

At 15 I had my first 'breakdown'  where OCD started to affect all areas of my life including dressing, eating, leaving the house etc.

 

IF my OCD disappeared tomorrow then I feel as though there would be a lot of 'fixing' my life to do (e.g. repairing the damage it has caused) before I could actually start living. I'm 29 now so have had OCD for 21 years (22 if counting my Emetophobia, which started age 7). I do doubt whether recovery is really possible for all sufferers but if it is then that's great.

Edited by BelAnna
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Hi all.about OCD in childhood.totally a yes...but you know, I am 54 and have just acknowledged and realised I had OCD in childhood........I remember I used to pick at the skin in between my eyelashes and pick skin in my hair.....I remember around puberty when my periods were not regular, I used to think....has my older brother made me pregnant, like did he have sex with me and I don’t remember and that is why my period hasn’t come. but that I am pregnant and scared.....bizarre ...bizarre....bizarre completely...would worry worry worry about this ..  Of course when my period came I think then that that thought must have diminished...I’ve always massively worried all my life about everything....so excessive.....but when my son was 2, I had my first major bout of depression and obs ssional thoughts that I had murdered my children during the night and I didn’t know I had plus other very bizarre irrational thoughts...nowadays I’ve come now to realise that my hair pulling from my eyebrows, legs and bikini area are actually compulsions relating to anxiety. So yes...I can honestly say that ocd began in childhood...I am currently having psychotherapy and psychiatrist appointments.ocd is the worse disease ...we are all suffering in our own unique ways....it’s not one bit fair. It’s like your mind is frantic all of the time.....I am hoping CBT will help...has anyone found that CBT has helped them.i am new to this forum....we need each other to support one another to reassure each one of us that we are not going completely mad.   That it’s the ocd that’s the big and ugly nasty bully here in our minds and we have to beat it. Love mel...let’s stick together and get through ....let us all try very very hard. Xxx

 

 

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