Self motivation/ determination.

[taurean]

That's nicely explained snowbear and I think it will be of help to people. 

I am doing fine at the moment because I am seeing any stray intrusions as just mental chaff, and gently but firmly easing my thinking away from them. And as a result they are much less frequent and powerful. 

But to reach that state I needed to go through the therapy,as I described it, to understand what was going on and why, so I could then change my response

 

[St Mike]

9 hours ago, lostinme said:

Thank you so much St Mike  as always, you really do inspire me.

I think this is a great way to explain it 

Hope you are ok and keeping well  and Thankyou for your lovely gesture it was much appreciated 

Best wishes as always, 

lost 

 

I am doing very well, Lost.

Just came back from a long holiday in China.

Coming to my 3rd year being compulsion free.

You too, inspire me with your determination and never say die attitude which is one of the reasons why I remain committed to contributing in my own little way to this forum and community.

Cheers 

Mike

[biscuitcat]

18 hours ago, JennieWren said:

This whole thread is very inspirational to me. I hope you understand, Lost, that you are not just helping yourself when you resist your compulsions, you are helping me too. Giving me strength to give it a go.

my husband has wanted to take my daughter for a day out in London for ages. I keep stalling him with excuses, but really it's because I'm terrified she will be killed in a tube bomb attack or similar. I keep wanting to put conditions on the visit like, only use the bus, or go on a day when an attack is less likely - as if I can magically think my way round this. To put it in perspective I have lots of family in London, with small children, who use the underground every day despite recent events. Somehow it is ok for them to do it, but not my daughter, so I know it's OCD. I say this because you and others have inspired me to let them go over the Christmas holidays. It terrifies me to think about it. But I'm going to try and take that leap of faith. 

So thank you! 

Hi Jennie, 

I live in London and I don't think this is just an OCD thing.  A lot of people who don't live in London and even those who do are a little scared to use the tube nowadays. 

But you're right, we shouldn't let these thoughts change our behaviours - take that leap of faith. I

 

Nowadays, more to location than anything else I only take the overground. If you can I would suggest the overground - it doesn't feel as packed and claustrophobic, and being able to see above ground and look at the views somehow makes me feel more safe. The overground also doesn't have individual compartments, you can move freely from one end to the other, so it's a much nicer train to get around on.

[taurean]

I think what happened at Oxford Circus tube station last Friday (when I was myself up in London, though in The City not the West End) was more a consequence of misinformation spreading like wildfire from irresponsible posts on social media. 

People should think before they post.

This is just one - of many - reasons why I am myself not an active subscriber to such media. 

 

[lostinme]

17 hours ago, taurean said:

Great work lost

 

Thankyou Roy  it’s been a busy day of exposures again today, feeling a little anxious ? but feeling good too 

 

15 hours ago, snowbear said:

I agree, it is an interesting discussion. One that's worthy of exploration because it has implications for our OCD recovery. So I hope you won't mind if I dissect your post to further the discussion, and I hope Lostie will forgive us for going off on a tangent on her thread. (We'll start a separate thread if needs be.)  

No I don’t mind at all, there’s no need to start a separate thread snow, I think it’s an interesting discussion to see how we interpret our thoughts on our road to recovery 

[lostinme]

10 hours ago, St Mike said:

I am doing very well, Lost.

Just came back from a long holiday in China.

Coming to my 3rd year being compulsion free.

You too, inspire me with your determination and never say die attitude which is one of the reasons why I remain committed to contributing in my own little way to this forum and community.

Cheers 

Mike

That’s great StMike, well done  I’m really pleased for you 

Im hoping that one day I could reach this too  no more compulsions, wouldn’t that be great 

How amazing! China, I bet you had a wonderful time  with some beautiful views to see. 

Im always grateful for your kind words and inspiration, you always cheer me on and it means a lot 

Best wishes as always, 

lost 

 

 

 

[taurean]

Good stuff Mike. 

Let's remind ourselves that we have learned on this thread that to beat OCD we :

Need to learn the C (cognitive) side of CBT - how the illness works, why the core belief geared round a theme seems real, though it's false or exaggerated. How it targets are real core values and suggests the opposite. How when we believe and connect with intrusions we use compulsive responses to try and test remove shift the unwanted thoughts - but they only make them worse, more frequent, stronger. 

Need to learn to change our behavioural response (the B in therapy) to wean ourselves off compulsions, and not connect in any way with intrusions. 

That when we follow lost's determination and self-motivation, we can reduce our responses and stop reacting to thoughts that are in fact just mental chaff, so we don't experience anxiety or distress. And when subsequent thoughts may come calling, we then simply gently but firmly steer our thinking away and onto beneficial love kindness useful happy thinking. 

Who is ready to join in on this journey? 

It's difficult, challenging - we have to do the work ourselves. But when those unwanted intrusions - if they do come - can be seen for what they are, worthless nonsense, and can be gently eased away, then wow - I can tell you the feeling is magical, wonderful, worth all the effort. 

Edited November 29, 2017 by taurean

[St Mike]

Thanks Lost and Roy.

I enjoy reading posts from long-standing members such as yourselves and Snow Bear because they provide knowledge, perspective and motivation

Anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, anger and any other negative emotion comes about when we give credence to intrusive thoughts because they are ego-dystonic in nature and conflicts with our values and beliefs. The more we react adversely to them e.g. by performing compulsions to gain relief, the more they boomerang back to hit us harder and frequent.

Recovery can only start when we start to change the way we treat such intrusive thoughts and change the way we react to them. As real, as scary, as disgusting as they may seem, ultimately they are still just thoughts, quoting the little girl of a forum member "They are all in our heads." Thankfully, children can often have the best insight because of their innocence. Why do we have to live in fear, with shame, disgust, or anger because of mental chaff generated by our OCD afflicted brains? We have to change and challenge ourselves! E.g Resist compulsions, learn to refocus, learn to relax and control the anxiety, forgive ourselves to remove the guilt, etc. Recognise you have a mental condition and you need to have love and care instead of self-hatred and torment. 

We are very lucky in a sense, that we are living at a time when more is known about OCD than any other, and we have access to so much knowledge, information and personal experience from, doctors, therapists, sufferers and ex-sufferers alike, something which Howard Hughes, in spite of his intellect and billions of dollars didn't have. Almost all of us don't have Howard's kind of money, but all of us can recover or at least be in a better state than what had befallen Howard, the knowledge of that itself should be a point of motivation for us to get better.

Edited December 1, 2017 by St Mike

[taurean]

Mike

 

[lostinme]

 Roy and StMike, some great little pointers 

Come guys we can do this