Well Here Is 2018 - What Are Your Goals?

[taurean]

For me, I want to carry on the good work of non-avoidance, and exposure to my high end triggers, which has really made a big difference for me. 

I know that with our illness we have to keep our CBT work up to date, so we are seeing the OCD for what it is, and the triggers are "pulled"  so they don't upset us, and intrusions become infrequent and are eased gently away. 

I would like to do a little local charity work to add to my keeping busy schedule - maybe a few hours per week in one of the shops - plus some involvement in a community committee. When we keep busy it limits the time our illness has to target us - OCD loves a vacuum. 

I have about a stone in weight to lose - but I don't have to go and join a gym as I have been a gym member, and regular attender, for many years - in my case it is food consumed not exercise, that is the issue. 

 

Edited January 1, 2018 by taurean
typo

[Avo]

I have some similar aims, i have about a stone in weight to lose but i know its food i eat not exercise, i am not a member of a gym but my job sees me do around 15000 + steps a day which helps keep me active. I need to moderate my food intake. I am also doing dry January which will be my 6th year.

I turn 40 in the Autumn so it feels a big year for me in that sense, plus we are looking to move house. We currently rent but are looking to buy as the amount we spend on rent is massive so rather than pay our landlords mortgage would rather put that into our own (Money permitting). we have moved a lot of the years so know it can be a stressful event which leads me to OCD.

OCD wise i am about to finish my CBT, i have about 2 sessions left. Against a backdrop of the above events i am aware stress can by a trigger to OCD. I am in a much better place OCD wise than say spring last year but i know from bitter  experience we have to guard against re-lapse. 

The main difference is that i am now a regular on the forums (have been since about March 2017) and i intend to stick around even if i feel i am getting better OCD wise. I am still learning and just by reading these forums i learn and pick up tips. I also want to try and help where i can to support others. 

i know with OCD we can go from needing help to giving help in quite a short length of time. It is as important as the other aims to me that i don't let my OCD get the better of me as i have in the past.

[taurean]

That sounds really sensible planning Avo. 

I totally agree re paying rent; you will need a financial plan to bring that into action though. 

My other half and I, when we met up and were 30 years old, took out save as you earn plans each, to get a deposit together. 

We then bought a small flat in need of renovation, so cheap, and brought it up to a better standard, then sold it to a friend - meaning we were able to buy a terraced house in better condition and take that forward before selling that and moving on. And so on. 

In that way we were able to only take on debt we were able to service, (since for various reasons my wife was unable to carry on working)  and a mortgage we could aspire to pay off (about seven years ago now). 

 

Edited January 1, 2018 by taurean
typo

[Avo]

Hi Taurean,

Yes you make some good points, we have been saving for a while, we both work as wages are not brilliant here compared to the cost of living, i appreciate this may not always be possible, i myself have come close at times due to OCD. 

If we can buy it will be a 'doer upper' as property prices where i live are quite pricey compared to wages due to the towns location being close to a national park. (Nothing like London prices of course).  We would not be able to afford a house that would be our 'ideal home'.

We plan to overpay the mortgage re-payments if we can afford to and we get a mortgage that allows over-payments. 

All against a backdrop of trying to make sure OCD remains under control. 

[taurean]

Good thinking. 

Keeping stress down, learning how to stop worrying, and putting into practice on an ongoing basis the key elements of CBT are for me, the ways forward re addressing OCD. 

And it is great to pass on what we learn to others. 

[lostinme]

Sounds like some great positive goals guys 

My first goal is to get back on track again cbt wise and continue to move forwards, I’ve had a lot of personal and emotional issues which has had a negative impact on my recovery journey. So it’s time to pick up where I left off and put everything into my recovery journey. 

Then maybe one day I will be able to go to work again. But one step at a time 

[St Mike]

My goal is to be and continue to be happy. 

That's all. 

 

[taurean]

2 hours ago, lostinme said:

Sounds like some great positive goals guys 

My first goal is to get back on track again cbt wise and continue to move forwards, I’ve had a lot of personal and emotional issues which has had a negative impact on my recovery journey. So it’s time to pick up where I left off and put everything into my recovery journey. 

Then maybe one day I will be able to go to work again. But one step at a time 

Very sensible goals lost. Realistic and businesslike. 

You took some knocks this year; they held you back, but you didn't let them overpower you - that's the right approach. 

The serenity prayer is a constant for me, really keeps me on a sensible path. 

"God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference".

Other things that will help me on my journey are:

Taking a detached view of things that are troubling me. 

Being concerned where appropriate, but not worried. 

Plus Jon Kabat-Zinn's take on troubles :

" we can't stop the waves, but we can learn to surf "

 

[BelAnna]

Hi Taurean, great idea!

Taurean, Avo, Lost and Mike those sounds like really good goals!

Remember that 14lbs isn't a huge amount to lose so it is definitely possible! I've got quite a lot more to lose but I've been better than usual with my eating over Christmas so at least I haven't put on 7lbs as in previous years!

Avo, that will be great that you're going to own your own home! Getting on the property market is such a big thing, even if it's a doer-upper!

Lost, I really hope that things in your personal life improve really soon and that that enables you to make more progress with CBT again! Is your CBT therapist any good?

Mike, that's a really good idea- what kinds of things are you going to do to feel happy/continue feeling like that? I read recently that there are lots of different 'types' of happiness so it's worth identifying which 'type/s' you are hoping to maintain!

My goals are:

- To be kind, less selfish and to try to make my family/friends feel better rather than letting them take the brunt of my OCD. This will involve helping more with household chores, speaking encouragement rather than always expressing negativity and keeping the expression of my emotions (incl. anxiety/OCD-related anger) in check (by keeping CBT records of anxiety/behavioural issues and continuously working on this). This is particularly important as we are planning to move 300 miles before the summer and it's a very stressful situation (as I'm sure you both know Taurean and Avo with your house moves) and as my parents are both unwell.

- To exercise daily and avoid binge eating. Ideally I would make it my goal to lose a couple of stone but I know that the more pressure I put on myself to do this, the more likely I am to get back into the cycle of binge eating huge quantities of food every three days and then trying to burn it off.

- Adopt some hobbies and learn to be myself again. OCD has taken so much from me that I don't feel as though I have an identity any longer so I'm trying to identify activities that make me feel like myself again. The first is photography- I adore taking pretty photos of landscapes and flattering portraits of family/friends. Ideally I would take a Photography course and buy a Mirrorless (like a light-weight DSLR) camera for this. The second is music- I want to listen to as much as possible and maybe take up piano and singing again! and I'm not sure about the other 'hobbies' I could try yet.

- Make steps towards living like a "normal person" my Social Anxiety and OCD mean that I don't make phone calls, I haven't had a hair cut for over 6 years, I avoid going to shops and I just generally avoid life. I would like to tackle some of these things this year but will obviously need to be very specific and work on each issue individually as I cannot just wake up tomorrow about 'be normal'!!

- Face my OCD with the help of my Psychologist I have had years of therapy but not made a huge amount of progress so I would like to really face my OCD this time and not just give in!

 

 

 

Edited January 1, 2018 by BelAnna

[JennieWren]

@BelAnna these are some really great goals to have. Maybe if and when you tackle them you can let us know how they go so we can cheer you on. 

[JennieWren]

I think my goal this year is to try and deal with my anger. The problem is I never get properly angry. But through therapy I have discovered what feels like an atom bombs worth of anger inside me, that I just can't touch or feel. I also get a very aggressive male voice in my head when my mental health is bad. This voice is my anger I think, although can't prove! I think if I manage to deal with this one thing, a lot of my life will feel much easier.

i would like to get good results from my psychotherapy, not sure what yet though!

i would also like to grow enough food on my allotment to cut my weekly food bills by half at least in the summer.

[Saz]

I have private cbt booked for the end of February. My aim is to have a much happier 2018, a 2018 were my life isn't ruled by this irrational fear. X

[taurean]

1 hour ago, Saz said:

I have private cbt booked for the end of February. My aim is to have a much happier 2018, a 2018 were my life isn't ruled by this irrational fear. X

All the best for that Saz. Meanwhile remember not to give belief to intrusions or attempted connections. 

Refocus away and get busy on a beneficial distraction

 

[taurean]

What I really like about the choices selected here is that they are realistic and achievable, not pie-in-the-sky. 

It's so good therefore to read them. 

[lostinme]

I love it how we all come together and support each other, that’s what makes the forum a special place to be a part of  Roy. 

Best wishes to all for a new fresh start to 2018 

[CAH_05]

Really like this post. Well done everyone for taking back a little bit of control from OCD and putting together some goals.

some of my bigger goals for this year are:

take up running (been reading about the benefits of running for mental health)

sign up for a 5k run to raise some money for charity 

start yoga (to help with relaxation, mindfulness)- I would realy like something like this to become apart of my life in the long term so hope that I enjoy it.

ironically, theme of my OCD focuses on the state of my mental health, so part of me worries that these are all compulsions (to ensure I stay healthy and happy and therefore not become suicidal)

[taurean]

8 hours ago, St Mike said:

My goal is to be and continue to be happy. 

That's all. 

 

Happiness is a great psychological bias. 

We can choose to be miserable and we can choose to be happy. 

I choose to be happy too. 

I don't intend to let the machinations of world affairs drag me down - I can't do anything about them anyway. 

I can be as happy as Larry sitting in a comfortable chair with a book and soft music playing.

Or my wife and I can be blissfully happy seated in the garden sharing a pot of tea and laughing and joking. 

When we set rules for our happiness, we do wrong. We don't have to have material goods, a continental holiday or a new car. 

And, if we continue to apply what we learn from CBT therapy, we can make progress and we can learn to make thinking and behavioural changes which bring the happiness of breaking free. 

[taurean]

7 minutes ago, CAH_05 said:

Really like this post. Well done everyone for taking back a little bit of control from OCD and putting together some goals.

some of my bigger goals for this year are:

take up running (been reading about the benefits of running for mental health)

sign up for a 5k run to raise some money for charity 

start yoga (to help with relaxation, mindfulness)- I would realy like something like this to become apart of my life in the long term so hope that I enjoy it.

ironically, theme of my OCD focuses on the state of my mental health, so part of me worries that these are all compulsions (to ensure I stay healthy and happy and therefore not become suicidal)

Your OCD shows, CAH,  that we can obsess and compulse, sadly, about anything - but it is all still simply OCD - it operates the same way whatever the theme or manifestation. 

You can run, if you wish, to raise money for the OCD - UK charity, which uses some of its donations and membership income to pay to provide this forum free to air for sufferers in need of help. 

Check the website, twitter feed for details 

Edited January 1, 2018 by taurean
typo

[Em24]

Lovely, positive post ❤

Some great resolutions here!

Mine are..

To see the positive side of things as much as possible.

To not allow myself to be taken advantage of.

To accept myself for who I am, flaws and all.

To treat my body better, no more self harming with unhealthy foods and alcohol.

Good luck everyone, we got this ?

X

[ecomum]

My new years resolution (or as I used to say as a kid, my new years revolutions) concerning ocd are, 

-with my work with children,  which involves a lot of health and safety, is to try and distinguish between what is common sense and necessary and what is ocd. 

-and with my own children is to stop over worrying about what harm they could cause so that they don't end up like me. 

This won't be easy but I feel liberated now I have identified what needs to be done. Maybe I was right as a child and we can turn things around!!!!!!!

Good luck to you all with your new year's revolutions and thank you for your invaluable support ♥ 

[taurean]

I am really pleased I started this thread. 

Some wonderful, sensible plans are coming forward, and maybe more people will find the thread and add their own goals. 

My first goal is for us to be rid of this flu that has been plaguing us for the last several weeks  It has seemed like an unwanted relay - I get it, then after a magnificent campaign caring for me, but trying not to get it, she succumbs

Then I care for her,try not to get it, then I succumb

We have both got it right now, so maybe that is the breakthrough for which we have been waiting

[biscuitcat]

I love a positive posts about goals, we can encourage each other to achieve them and break them down into manageable chunks. 

 

My goals for 2018 are:

To stop buying single use plastic items -, I have a 'zero waste' food shop near me, so I want to make the most of that. I decided this after watching an episode of Blue Planet where a whale's calf died because of plastic pollution, and I just couldn't stop crying. So I'm going to try to do my bit. 

Be more kind to my brain and body - This very much links to my continuing recovery and journey into good mental health. I've done really well, but I think we can always make positive changes. This includes trying to be positive, to be realistic with goals and what I can achieve at work. Try to practice mindfulness more often, look after my sleep cycle, lots of small changes I hope. 

Give up alcohol - Whether this is just for a while or for the whole year I'm not sure, but I know this is the best thing for my body. 

Set up my Etsy Shop - I would really like to put some effort and time into my Etsy Shop and try to sell illustrations. Long term I would like this to be a bigger part of my income so I could potentially work 4 days at my full time job, and one day at home. 

[JennieWren]

2 hours ago, biscuitcat said:

et up my Etsy Shop - I would really like to put some effort and time into my Etsy Shop and try to sell illustrations

Did you draw your icon? I really like it. Funny and cute.

[CAH_05]

17 hours ago, taurean said:

Your OCD shows, CAH,  that we can obsess and compulse, sadly, about anything - but it is all still simply OCD - it operates the same way whatever the theme or manifestation. 

You can run, if you wish, to raise money for the OCD - UK charity, which uses some of its donations and membership income to pay to provide this forum free to air for sufferers in need of help. 

Check the website, twitter feed for details 

Do u think these goals are compulsions? Therefore feeding my OCD? 

I am going to donate to OCD UK this year.

[taurean]

19 minutes ago, CAH_05 said:

Do u think these goals are compulsions? Therefore feeding my OCD? 

I am going to donate to OCD UK this year.

Bearing in mind the theme you stated CAH, you are re-assurance-seeking - which is itself a compulsion.