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Please please help me x


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Hi guys as many of you know I went through hell this Summer with a particular thought and although I have managed to park it in the back of my brain, it is still always there! I’m so frustrated as I want it leave me alone and not have all the worry, anxiety fear and absolute distress that it leaves me with. I manage to leave it but it keeps coming back, always reminding me, making me feel bad, terrible, sad and possibly guilty. I want to move on with my life and I have to everything has done well for me the past month or so and I just want to forget it and not have this. Please please help me, I’m so sad over it and so frightened. Thank you. Nic x

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Nikki, i guarantee the reason this thought is still bothering you is because you freak out when it pops up and you pay attention to it by doing compulsions. That's what you need to work on. You can train yourself over time to not freak out and you need to work hard to identify the compulsions you are doing and slow diwn and stop them.

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Just now, PhilM said:

Nikki I don't know your background or what is troubling you but are you receiving or going to be receiving any treatment - CBT?

Hi Phil yes I’m therapy since the Summer. Basically for over two years I had thoughts about a certain time in my life and what had happened that bothered me and then this Summer it got worse and the questions and worries about it were more specific. 

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1 minute ago, PolarBear said:

Nikki, i guarantee the reason this thought is still bothering you is because you freak out when it pops up and you pay attention to it by doing compulsions. That's what you need to work on. You can train yourself over time to not freak out and you need to work hard to identify the compulsions you are doing and slow diwn and stop them.

PB it’s like it is like my brain’s go to to remind me I have something to be worried about. Does that make sense? My compulsions are ruminating and thinking or worrying about it all, like I say it is always in my brain and I don’t want it to be. I must have had worries before that stuck around a long time but this is not going away. I seem to be reassuring myself in my brain too when it comes in so that it probably a compulsion. I mean PB did you ever have something that just never went away? 

I mean it was there in my mind on holidays but then other worries took my attention in the form of exposures. However as soon as I got on the plane to come back to Toronto it started going to the Summer worry once more?

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The way you keep describing this, it makes me think you believe its simehow different than everyday OCD. It's not. It doesn't matter if you first got the intrusive thoughts last summer. You continue to get them today. They're still just intrusive thoughts. Don't make this more confusing than it needs to be. This is just intrusive thoughts that cause distress and lead to compulsions.

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39 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

The way you keep describing this, it makes me think you believe its simehow different than everyday OCD. It's not. It doesn't matter if you first got the intrusive thoughts last summer. You continue to get them today. They're still just intrusive thoughts. Don't make this more confusing than it needs to be. This is just intrusive thoughts that cause distress and lead to compulsions.

So how would you cope if this is was happening to you?

Edited by Nikki79
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I already gave you advice a couple of posts ago. Work on not freaking out over the thoughts and identify the compulsions you are doing and work hard to stop them.

My point is, you treat your current situation like you would any form of OCD. There's nothing different or worse anout what you're going through. It's just OCD.

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18 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

I already gave you advice a couple of posts ago. Work on not freaking out over the thoughts and identify the compulsions you are doing and work hard to stop them.

My point is, you treat your current situation like you would any form of OCD. There's nothing different or worse anout what you're going through. It's just OCD.

Stop compulsions, accept thoughts as all OCD drivel and get on with my life. Make it simple right? I do get those thoughts like this but I keep feeling I need to repeat these positive thoughts to feel ok when the worry strikes again. 

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2 hours ago, PolarBear said:

You want to do nothing about the thoughts. Nothing. Leave them alone.

And what happens then, please say it will go. I guess in the past I must have had stuff that went, returned a little and went...After all I have 20 years of this.

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Sorry to say Nikki but your post above seems to me like reassurance seeking and as a fellow sufferer of 20+ years it's not going to help you to say "please say it will go". As always I only talk from my own experiences but I understand your distress.

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8 minutes ago, PhilM said:

Sorry to say Nikki but your post above seems to me like reassurance seeking and as a fellow sufferer of 20+ years it's not going to help you to say "please say it will go". As always I only talk from my own experiences but I understand your distress.

I understand, I just want to not feel burdened like any one of us here. 

I am just scared PhilM of being guilty of something and shouldn’t he away with it. It’s very idea makes me sick although I have had times when I had thoughts were I thought it seemed exaggerated. I had no specific evidence, just ideas, images or what felt like could have happened. 

Edited by Nikki79
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The thoughts making you sick is you reacting to the thoughts. Treat them as the ordinary thoughts that dont mean anything and they'll stop being a major disturbance. Rught now you're treatung them as important. You have to learn to stop doing that.

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13 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

The thoughts making you sick is you reacting to the thoughts. Treat them as the ordinary thoughts that dont mean anything and they'll stop being a major disturbance. Rught now you're treatung them as important. You have to learn to stop doing that.

Just see the thoughts but don’t react? I guess if I do that then the thoughts won’t grow and gain more momentum as they did. Any thoughts about these good or bad are not helping me. I fee that is where I get stuck trying to analyze where they came from, how they occurred, why or why not they are important etc. Do you see? I just want to simplify things and be well though.

Edited by Nikki79
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