Is realizing that the groinal response is "just OCD" self-reassurance?

[Ryukil]

It's not like I'm constantly reminding myself of this. Sometimes, however, it helps to brush off the anxiety by realizing that the "groinal response" to sexual obsessions is not genuine, just another trick of OCD.

[PolarBear]

In a way it is but it's a minor distinction. If you recognize that it's OCD up to its old tricks and then carry on without doing compulsions, you're doing just fine. Eventually you won't have to remind yourself it's OCD. You will just know.

[taurean]

this is exactly so. 

[Ryukil]

Yes, I guess that's how I felt without being able to articulate it. There's a little distinction there.

[Ryukil]

I think my therapist is going to tell me that I should have the attitude of "maybe I was turned on by that thought..." however, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I mean, I can't accept being turned on by these horrible thoughts.

[taurean]

25 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

I think my therapist is going to tell me that I should have the attitude of "maybe I was turned on by that thought..." however, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I mean, I can't accept being turned on by these horrible thoughts.

That's mind-reading. He hasn't said so yet has he? 

Why don't you simply wait for what he does tell you? 

[JennieWren]

My therapist never did this. And I get groinal responses.

It wasn't discussed much at all. If it had in my case the therapist would have been asking me to consider I was turned on by my own baby. Which I definitely am not. 

[Ashley]

7 hours ago, Ryukil said:

Sometimes, however, it helps to brush off the anxiety by realizing that the "groinal response" to sexual obsessions is not genuine, just another trick of OCD.

The above is right, the topic title below is wrong.

Quote

Is realizing that the groinal response is "just OCD" self-reassurance?   

Groinal response is a compulsion, checking that you're not aroused is perhaps reassurance (still a compulsion) but the actual physical response is not reassurance, it's further adding fuel to the OCD fire. 

3 hours ago, Ryukil said:

I think my therapist is going to tell me that I should have the attitude of "maybe I was turned on by that thought..." however, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I mean, I can't accept being turned on by these horrible thoughts.

If he/she does, then take it on board and understand why he/she is saying that and be prepared to trust their knowledge or skills, otherwise you're simply wasting your time and money if you have no intention of at least trying to follow their suggestions.

[Wonderer]

4 hours ago, Ryukil said:

I think my therapist is going to tell me that I should have the attitude of "maybe I was turned on by that thought..." however, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I mean, I can't accept being turned on by these horrible thoughts.

Your therapist might do this, mine did, he made me take the attitude of “maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t, guess I’ll never know” and then move on, it’s difficult because u don’t want to ever acknowledge that you might have been but it’s not about proving that u were or weren’t, it’s about taking the anxiety out of that, once the anxious mind clears up, you can see for yourself, things become more clear to u when ur not constantly trying to figure it out! It’s essentially boring the thought to death so it ends up leaving you alone, not feeding it, when the obsession subsides u won’t even notice the groinal response, it’s just the attention that ur giving ur privates that makes u think u feel something! 

Edited January 12, 2018 by Wonderer

[Ryukil]

I'm bumping this because now we're actually doing some exposures, and my whole problem revolves around these groinal responses.

 

From my therapist's point of view, I should not tell myself that my groinal responses are being caused by OCD. However,  I have noticed this helps me to get past the compulsion. My obsession is that, if I get a groinal response to an intrusive thought, I must undo that by thinking the same intrusive thought without having a groinal response. This is the compulsion. It helps me to bypass the compulsion by saying, "Screw it, you know what this is..." And, deep down, I do know what it is. I've read tons of information on groinal responses by now (I realize reading them while worried about one would be reassurance), so understand that it's just another one of OCD's tricks. Not sure why realizing this, and using this realization to disregard the compulsive urge, should be a problem...

 

I think, if the groinal responses don't alarm me anymore because I realize they're just nonsense, this would solve the obsession just the same as accepting the possibility that I was genuinely aroused by these horrible thoughts.

 

To acknowledge that I may genuinely be turned on by, say, thoughts of incest with my parents or sister, seems like too much for me...

[snowbear]

29 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

I think, if the groinal responses don't alarm me anymore because I realize they're just nonsense, this would solve the obsession just the same as accepting the possibility that I was genuinely aroused by these horrible thoughts.

Unfortunately these 'solutions' aren't the same thing at all.  

Dismissing the physical response as nonsense is taking away the immediate anxiety, but it's not a solution because it fails to address the problem. 

Accepting the possibility you were aroused isn't the same as saying 'I was aroused'. It's saying 'I DON'T NEED TO KNOW if I was aroused or not.

36 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

To acknowledge that I may genuinely be turned on by, say, thoughts of incest with my parents or sister, seems like too much for me...

Again, nobody is asking you to accept you are turned on by such thoughts. You're being advised to shrug your shoulders and say it wouldn't matter either way, if you were or weren't. This ambivalence recognises that the issue of arousal only seems a big deal to you because of the meaning you're giving it. 

Nobody is saying incest is acceptable. We're saying that a thought is just a thought; a fleeting piece of thinking that passes through your brain without any meaning or consequence attached. Thinking something isn't the same as wanting it, or not wanting it, or being secretly turned on by it.

Thinking something is initially meaningless. It's when you then attach a meaning to it... 'OMG, I thought about it therefore that means...   ' that's where the problem starts. You've decided something random and pointless has meaning, so now you're scared to ignore it, scared of what you've decided it means, scared of even thinking the very thing that now scares you in case it really does mean...  

Shrugging your shoulders at the thought of being turned on by family members is to understand that the thought itself is meaningless/harmless and does not reflect what you want or what you would do. It's just a thought, a piece of mental jetsam you can safely ditch overboard and forget about. 

[Ryukil]

24 minutes ago, snowbear said:

Again, nobody is asking you to accept you are turned on by such thoughts. You're being advised to shrug your shoulders and say it wouldn't matter either way, if you were or weren't. This ambivalence recognises that the issue of arousal only seems a big deal to you because of the meaning you're giving it. 

 

2

Actually, my therapist did straight up tell me to say "Yes, I was turned on by the thought."

[PolarBear]

11 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

Actually, my therapist did straight up tell me to say "Yes, I was turned on by the thought."

That is actually challenging the OCD. When you agree with an intrusive thought you give it nowhere to go.

I am hesitant to give you any advice. You have gone off tangents when you recieve contradictory advice. I don't want to confuse the issue when you are under the care of a therapist.

[Ryukil]

Just seems like too much to me. To say that I'm actually turned on by thoughts of sexual assault is wayyy too much for me to handle. I think having a general awareness that the bodily reaction is just another symptom of OCD is alright...maybe it's a compulsion (I don't really think it is...if I were washing my hands obsessively, and then just said "Screw it, I'm done listening to OCD ********," and then walked away from the sink, would you call that a compulsion?), but it's motivating me to ignore the larger, much more destructive compulsion.

Edited January 24, 2018 by Ryukil

[Ryukil]

On 1/11/2018 at 20:48, PolarBear said:

In a way it is but it's a minor distinction. If you recognize that it's OCD up to its old tricks and then carry on without doing compulsions, you're doing just fine. Eventually you won't have to remind yourself it's OCD. You will just know.

I mean, you already said it right here. Don't worry, you're not derailing my therapy. It's just something I'll have to consider. I agree with what you wrote there.

[Ryukil]

On 1/12/2018 at 03:52, JennieWren said:

My therapist never did this. And I get groinal responses.

It wasn't discussed much at all. If it had in my case the therapist would have been asking me to consider I was turned on by my own baby. Which I definitely am not. 

Jennie, I've seen other posts that seem to indicate your therapist did tell you to tell yourself you were turned on by these thoughts? I'm confused.

[gingerbreadgirl]

I don't want to put words in Jennie's mouth but I think she meant specifically about the groinal responses, not the thoughts in general.

I agree with everything said here.  The techniques you have been using til now may have worked in the short term but you need to go with what your therapist is suggesting and not keep questioning it.  

[luna blue]

I had to tape on video that I was a pedophile and it was tough. Very! But now I don't care about the word so much- am I a pedofile am I not who cares? It's just a word. Of corse the battle is not over! But the word is less treathening. So the what if , worked for me but slowly.