Leaving the forum.

[lily17]

I start a topic and it gets closed. I’m done with it. No one gets their threads closed but me. It’s not fair, I come here looking for some comfort and I get ignored. The moderators hate me. Good bye. 

Edited January 15, 2018 by lily17

[100TowelsaDay!]

Bye

[PolarBear]

This has been explained to you numerous times. You are using the forum as a way to do compulsions. You've been warned not to do it. You've been told umpteen times that you can do things differently.

We are not doing you any favors by allowing you to continually write out every intrusive thought you get.

Others doing the same thing have had their threads closed. You are far from the only one.

No one here hates you. That's a nasty reaction of yours to a serious problem. So easy to blame others rather than looking at your own behavior first.

[Wonderer]

Threads do get locked, they get locked when the poster keeps on posting the same thing and not taking onboard any of the advice people are giving them. New threads with the exact same issue despite having received lots of helpful advice previously do the poster absolutely no favours, they are just threads seeking reassurance which is bad for the sufferer, it gets them nowhere. Repeated threads are compulsions, compulsions need to stop for you to get better. It’s not to be mean, it’s to be helpful.xx

[Ashley]

I do sometimes wonder why users don't just leave and feel the need to make a big 'I am leaving' post.  But, this does give me an opportunity to try and explain and give you a chance to calm down and understand.

16 minutes ago, lily17 said:

I start a topic and it gets closed. I’m done with it. No one gets their threads closed but me. It’s not fair, I come here looking for some comfort and I get ignored. The moderators hate me. Good bye.

  

Over the least two weeks I have made several posts with warnings to several users who are repeatedly using our forum in the wrong way, primarily for reassurance seeking or for those who use the forum for compulsions of simply posting every thought. 

I don't just lock threads, where possible I give users the opportunity to change their use of the forums first, and only after repeated warnings and explanations do I start to moderate. 

We all need someone to give us a push sometimes, and the forum simply can not allow misuse of the forum, not just for the rest of the community but for those perhaps guilty of misusing. We are not helping anyone by allowing continued reassurance seeking or compulsions of posting of every obsessive thought. 

The forum is here to help people, and I think most of the time we do that right by explaining where a user is going wrong, making practical suggestions to help themselves and signposting to the appropriate treatments, but at some point users have to start helping themselves. 

[OceanDweller]

1 hour ago, lily17 said:

I start a topic and it gets closed. I’m done with it. No one gets their threads closed but me. It’s not fair, I come here looking for some comfort and I get ignored. The moderators hate me. Good bye. 

You’re out of line Lily. To suggest that you have been ignored after so many forum users have offered you so much useful advice demonstrates an absence of gratitude. And to suggest you’re hated is plain daft.

1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

So easy to blame others rather than looking at your own behavior first.

If you are deserting us (and I hope you don’t) reflect on the above.

Those who eventually get better grit their teeth and roll up their sleeves when times get tough. What are you going to do?

[JennieWren]

The moderators don’t hate you. They are simply stopping you from using this forum for reassurance and compulsions. They are doing that because they want to help you get better, not worse.

And I know you want comfort. But that’s not what getting better from ocd is all about unfortunately. It’s about accepting that we are going to feel uncomfortable and challenged.

If I could give you a hug and take away your problems I would. Maybe I’d give myself a hug and make it all better! But that’s not enough, so we have to do the work.

[taurean]

I would read the advice you have been given across the threads lily; and draw up a plan as to how you yourself are going to start putting it into action. 

Take on board what you have been told about posting, and why the moderators needed to take action. 

I think our moderators do an absolutely brilliant job - like a referee in sport they adopt an impartial line, give out plenty of slack whilst issuing reminders and guidelines, and moderate when it's necessary. 

But we all have to make the changes and work the therapy to get better - at first it is hard, but it gets better as we build a gradual head of steam. 

[bruces]

Rest assured NOBODY hates you lily,we all feel the frustration you do x 

[daja]

54 minutes ago, bruces said:

Rest assured NOBODY hates you lily,we all feel the frustration you do x 

This.

[Binxy]

Come on Lily.  We've all got your best interests at heart.  We want to help you.

[lily17]

I'm sorry for my past behaviour and for not taking advice on board. I'm really sorry. I behaved like a toddler  sometimes I just think everybody hates me.  And for the record no, I wasn't actually leaving the forum. I was just mad when I started this thread.

[BigDave]

Hey Lily. I know it’s rough and I’ve been pretty guilty of looking for reassurances as well in the past. But half the time, avoiding the obsessional thought and not facing it head on is just temporarily reducing the anxiety without ever really addressing the problem. Trust me, I’m guilty of that. I hope things get easier. 

[PhilM]

The thing is Lily - everyone on this forum wants the best for you and for me particularly I wish I'd had the advice and support you've been given 20 years ago.

No-one thinks ill of you - far from it and no-one hates you - fact.

Perhaps (just an opinion) you need to take a deep breath and think a little bit about what you are going to post and then look at the post before you send it?

Long-term sufferers of OCD understand your distress believe me.

Best wishes, Phil.

[BelAnna]

Don't worry about it Lily. You're ill, you've been struggling, the moderators are there to keep enforce certain rules about the way that the forum works, that is all.

I hope things get better for you!

[taurean]

This is a place of sympathy understanding and willingness to help and support, not hate. 

[njb]

hi lily, recall you from a while back. I can only say what others have said that you are clearly not hated, only loved. Cant comment on posts as i have been lucky enough to be absent for a while. Hugs.