New to this

[Alwayshope]

Hi, I am new to forums and New to talking about OCD. I have for sometime suffered from anxiety manifesting in reptiviely checking things, doubting myself and things I have said to a point where it now effects my whole life. Having tried to sort some help I was advised that the NHS waiting list was over 12 months so am looking into some private psychological therapy to help me. My biggest fear is that I will always feel this way or more so that it will keep getting worse. Can anyone offer me any reassurance or hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel?

[angels]

Hello and I hope you will get some support from using the forms and to know you are not alone.  There is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel it's not easy but the only choice for me anyway is fight and get better and never give up. I go to a private therapist which is 50.00 per hour which I feel is steep enough this is in northern ireland and I know it's more expensive outside of it but waiting on nhs takes such a long time when you usually need help asap

 

[Alwayshope]

Thanks angels. Yes I have been quoted £50 for 50 minutes but how I feel now I would pay anything to get help. How long I can sustain that I’m not sure but getting started at least makes me feel that I’m doing something to help myself. 

[angels]

That's how I felt I know it's a lot initially but then as time goes on the you could go from once a week to fortnightly once a month etc and you would be getting the support needed now instead of later as things tend to get worse when left. How long have you suffered ocd

[Alwayshope]

Years really but mildly at first but the symptoms have progressively got worse. Initially I could put the anxiety feeling and thoughts to one side by checking things repeatedly but now it’s escalating and I’m finding that I’m catastrophing even the smallest thing. I suppose I’ve delayed doing anything about it because I felt ashamed and embarrassed about what I was doing to take away the anxious feeling. Now I’m almost avoiding things so I don’t have to put myself in a position where I will make it worse. I desperately want to regain control

[angels]

The checking is a compulsion it's a form of reassurance seeking and it adds fuel to the fire as you the more you seek the less sure you are. The other thing is the avoidance which make you fear the situation more. Response prevention mean stopping yourself from reacting to the thoughts which is really difficult when you are highly anxious but if you chip away at it you can get it under control.  Finding a therapist that knows there stuff is essential make sure they have treated people with OCD CBT is the treatment needed. As over analysing or going into the past is no good for OCD. Hope this helps hope you find a good therapist who can help you

[Alwayshope]

Thanks, I’ll make sure I check with them first 

[PolarBear]

There sure is hope. I suffered for 40 years. For the past about three years I've been an ex-sufferer. People can and do get to a better place.

For therapy, what you need is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. It's the gold standard treatment for OCD.

[niff23]

Hi Alwayshope,

 

I am new here too and can completely empathise with your situation. I have had OCD for a while but lately it feels like it is taking over my life and my thoughts completely. It's devastating and very embarrassing at times. It also makes me feel so guilty.  I have a career, a great family and friends etc etc so why do I feel like this? Why is this happening to me? It's very scary.  

[Alwayshope]

Hi niff23,

I know that feeling! From the outside Im told that I look completely in control at work and indeed I have a great home life but inwardly I’m constantly doubting myself and catastrophising the smallest thing and although I know it is irrational I can’t seem to stop the doubt that I haven’t either checked or said that one thing! At present although I’m constantly checking it’s not effecting my work but I fear that it will if I don’t do something soon. I feel silly having to do checks and gain reassurance. I have booked in later this week with a private psychotherapist as the NHS waiting list in my area was over 12 months! Although nervous I am hoping to come Away with some reassurance and a plan, my GP just offered online sites and didn’t really think I needed meds. I hope you get some help also   

[niff23]

I've found that some online sites (such as this one) have been helpful, also mind.org.uk. I guess it's just a relief to read through other people's experiences and think "it's not just me" - Thank God! I have tried CBT in the past and it was slightly useful however I don't think that my therapist was very specialised with OCD. It's as if my brain needs to have something to obsess over, I literally can't remember the last time I was stress/worry free. Work seems to be a huge contributor to both my OCD checking or a causer of stress which then seems to make my mind open to intrusive thoughts. Maybe talking to people in your workplace would help? Good luck with your CBT.