Will I ever be loved with my mental illness

[Chels]

Another guy has ended it with me because of my OCD. This has obviously made me feel 100x worse about myself like I am disgusting a vile person and will never get anyone if I tell them about my OCD. I mean it's understandable who is going to put up with me having thoughts (sexual) and groundless response about their friends or children or family it's horrible I just don't know what to do anymore 

[OceanDweller]

Hi Chels. Personally, I believe it’s a matter of finding the right partner. Once you’re acquainted with ‘the one’, he won’t be put off by your OCD (and the fact that your last boyfriend was says far more about his failings than it does about you). Hang in there. We will all have our day in the sunshine.

[Ashley]

35 minutes ago, Chels said:

Another guy has ended it with me because of my OCD. This has obviously made me feel 100x worse about myself like I am disgusting a vile person and will never get anyone if I tell them about my OCD. I mean it's understandable who is going to put up with me having thoughts (sexual) and groundless response about their friends or children or family it's horrible I just don't know what to do anymore 

Did they actually state it was because of your OCD?   If so then you're better off without that person.   I would rather be on my own than with someone for the sake of it, and for me to be with someone they need to accept me for who I am, including my OCD.  But actually, what I would want in a partner is to say something like ... "I don't know much about OCD, but I will try and understand and I will help you fight it".... that's a keeper.   Someone who rejects you because of OCD is not a keeper.

But..... 

By the same token, we could and should both be working harder to get rid of our OCD to make OCD a non-issue in relationships. 

So...

Stop feeling sorry for yourself (the disgusting vile person comments suggests you are) and thank your lucky stars you had a near miss with the person that left you and have a think about what you can do next to deal and tackle your OCD.

 

We have   (love) ourselves before someone else can love us.

 

[Chels]

Thank you Ashley... at first he was helpful he said everyone gets them and tried to help me he looked into it and offered to come to meditation with me and then when we split up he said hopefully you find someone who can deal with your sick thoughts of friends, children etc I feel sick and can't stop having panic attacks about it ... and I know if I mention it to people they will think it's weird and sick and not right and I just don't know how to go about my next partner I feel physically sick I can't stop shaking I just don't know what to do I am guttered he said that it makes me feel like nobody will ever accept me 

[snowbear]

7 hours ago, Chels said:

at first he was helpful he said everyone gets them and tried to help me he looked into it and offered to come to meditation with me and then when we split up he said hopefully you find someone who can deal with your sick thoughts of friends, children etc 

I just don't know what to do I am guttered he said that it makes me feel like nobody will ever accept me 

This has obviously made me feel 100x worse about myself like I am disgusting a vile person and will never get anyone if I tell them about my OCD. I mean it's understandable who is going to put up with me having thoughts (sexual) and groundless response about their friends or children or family

 

I had a boyfriend once who dumped me largely because of my OCD. When he first found out he became emotionally distant while acting supportive. He seriously expected that going with me to the doctor and me starting therapy would be an almost instant cure and couldn't handle it when it wasn't. At the time I was devastated, thought it was my 'bad' for having OCD etc. Looking back many decades on I see it for what it truly was - HIS inability to accept 'imperfection' (as he saw it), his fear of mental health issues, his character weakness, his problem.

I went on to meet a guy who was genuinely supportive, who loved me in spite of my OCD and who didn't stigmatise me or blame me for the difficulties it caused in our life together. It wasn't until I met someone like this that I realised several of my early boyfriends had been 'inadequate' types with issues around mental health. I can't help wondering if I subconsciously chose them because I hated myself so much at the time, because I blamed my OCD for everything that went wrong in my life, because I was strongly prejudiced against mental ill-health (my OCD) without realising it. Then I slated them for having the same attitudes and used their rejection of me as 'proof' I was unloveable and a weapon to beat myself up further.

When I got a grip and started liking and respecting myself in spite of my OCD, the people I attracted to me had similar accepting/supportive attitudes. So your top priority now, Chels,  is to quit the self-hate/blame OCD talk. It's destructive and pointless. Accept yourself first and the people who fall in love with you will accept you as you are too.  

Then, as Ashley says, get the OCD sorted. You don't have to live with it or let it dictate your life, whether you're an individual or part of a couple. 

[gingerbreadgirl]

I'm really sorry to hear this has happened Chels But like others have said here, you could see it as a lucky escape as you will now have the opportunity to find someone who accepts you and loves you just as you are.

And I also agree, it can be an incentive to sort out the OCD once and for all so that next time you meet someone, it isn't an issue anyway.

Take care and be kind to yourself right now, break-ups are never easy at the best of time without OCD to contend with as well. Hugs xx