HDC Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 whenever I get upset about something, I feel like I have to have clarification that what I'm upset about is okay to be upset about and that I haven't annoyed anyone... then I get incredibly guilty for being upset and worry that people will think I'm a super anxious mess that cries a lot... even though realistically I cry maybe twice a month about stuff, I'm not like crying everyday. Does anyone else get this? If so is it OCD or just anxiety? Thanks HDC Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Why do you feel the need to clarify if you're justified in being upset? Why can't you be upset with whatever you want? This is OCD like which is all that's important, i would start to aim to treat yourself like you would treat everyone else and not over think it. Link to comment
HDC Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 Just now, Gemma7 said: Why do you feel the need to clarify if you're justified in being upset? Why can't you be upset with whatever you want? This is OCD like which is all that's important, i would start to aim to treat yourself like you would treat everyone else and not over think it. I don't know why I feel like it :/ I've always felt like I need reassurance that it's understandable that I'm upset or that someone else would feel the same... It's been like it forever! Perhaps because I've always been told that I'm hypersensitive or take things too personally.... I'll try to not ask for reassurance, and be confident in my own emotions Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 5 minutes ago, HDC said: I'll try to not ask for reassurance, and be confident in my own emotions Seems like a good place to start Link to comment
JennieWren Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 5 hours ago, HDC said: I've always been told that I'm hypersensitive or take things too personally.... This happened to me a lot growing up. There is truth in it, but what I was totally lacking was somebody to validate my feelings. To say it was ok to be me. now we are grownup we can do this for ourselves. If you learn to validate your own emotions you won't need to ask others if it's ok. This means saying "I feel upset right now and that's ok." And not adding right or wrongs to it. The truth is, the upset may not be justified. But that's not the point, because once you've validated how you are feeling you can use your logical calm reasoning side to work it out for yourself, without suppressing the emotional side. Or you can let it go. Link to comment
HDC Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 3 hours ago, JennieWren said: This happened to me a lot growing up. There is truth in it, but what I was totally lacking was somebody to validate my feelings. To say it was ok to be me. now we are grownup we can do this for ourselves. If you learn to validate your own emotions you won't need to ask others if it's ok. This means saying "I feel upset right now and that's ok." And not adding right or wrongs to it. The truth is, the upset may not be justified. But that's not the point, because once you've validated how you are feeling you can use your logical calm reasoning side to work it out for yourself, without suppressing the emotional side. Or you can let it go. Yeah I see your point! Seeing the sentence ' the upset may not be justified' actually scares me a little... but even if it's not I still feel upset, it wouldn't change the way I felt because I felt upset at that moment. Yes I suppose it's being upset and accepting it and doing what I can to not be upset by it again, or worrying about it forever and making it worse! Link to comment
JennieWren Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 13 hours ago, HDC said: the upset may not be justified' actually scares me a little... What I was saying is, it's ok to be upset. It doesn't matter why. You can't stop yourself from being upset by things, you will only repress it then. Then when you've validated that emotion you can logically decide what to do. Sorry if you understood already ?. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 4 minutes ago, JennieWren said: What I was saying is, it's ok to be upset. It doesn't matter why. You can't stop yourself from being upset by things, you will only repress it then. Then when you've validated that emotion you can logically decide what to do. Sorry if you understood already ?. I agree with this. A pal of mine once said ‘if you feel it, you feel it’. Nobody has the right to dictate whether your emotions are justifiable or not. And being sensitive (as I’m often described) should not be viewed as a slur. Being sensitive means you care about yourself and you’re conscious of others’ feelings too. Here’s to all us sensitive souls! Long may we refuse to hide how we feel. Link to comment
HDC Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 7 minutes ago, OceanDweller said: I agree with this. A pal of mine once said ‘if you feel it, you feel it’. Nobody has the right to dictate whether your emotions are justifiable or not. And being sensitive (as I’m often described) should not be viewed as a slur. Being sensitive means you care about yourself and you’re conscious of others’ feelings too. Here’s to all us sensitive souls! Long may we refuse to hide how we feel. @JennieWren I understood but you've added more and now I get it totally, And I agree... the world needs more people who care as much as us sensitive souls! I think I spend too much time worrying about whether I'm right or wrong in being upset and feeling guilty that I prolong the process of actually solving the problem! Link to comment
JennieWren Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 43 minutes ago, OceanDweller said: Here’s to all us sensitive souls! Interesting that being 'sensitive' or being called sensitive has a link to this illness. Link to comment
HDC Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 1 hour ago, JennieWren said: Interesting that being 'sensitive' or being called sensitive has a link to this illness. Yes interesting! Just frustrating how people use the term 'oversensitive' to justify someone's rude actions... maybe I'm not over sensitive, maybe some people are just plain rude! Link to comment
Orwell1984 Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 (edited) HDC I can completely relate. I feel ashamed for having or expressing any negative emotion as well. I reflexively stop myself expressing the emotion- it's like I judge myself in the moment and blame myself and question the validity of expressing the emotion. Have I a right to be upset, am I in the right or am I wrong and out of line. You see then it turns into rumination rather than experiencing a good cry for example. How to be emotionally expressively FREE. That would be wonderful Edited January 30, 2018 by Orwell1984 Link to comment
Cub Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 To borrow a phrase from the Road To El Dorado: Both? Both. Both is good. Seriously though? I think it can be a mix. One worsens the other. OCD is an anxiety disorder after all. I'm a generally anxious person altogether and OCD is caused by stress. C x Link to comment
HDC Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 15 hours ago, Orwell1984 said: HDC I can completely relate. I feel ashamed for having or expressing any negative emotion as well. I reflexively stop myself expressing the emotion- it's like I judge myself in the moment and blame myself and question the validity of expressing the emotion. Have I a right to be upset, am I in the right or am I wrong and out of line. You see then it turns into rumination rather than experiencing a good cry for example. How to be emotionally expressively FREE. That would be wonderful This could have come straight from my mouth!!!! Link to comment
JennieWren Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 On 30/01/2018 at 22:52, Orwell1984 said: emotionally expressively FREE Yes, but I am totally expressive and that's where all my guilt comes in. That I am too much for people, my response isn't unjustified. Oh wait I'm emotionally expressive, but not free. Link to comment
JennieWren Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Sorry should is say 'is unjustified' Link to comment
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