findingithard Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 So I'm back again. Been doing so well but here I am, panicking and worried about memories that I'm hoping are false. Basically I remembered something from 3ish years ago about my daughter. My friends partner brought me home and I had to change her nappy & put her in her pjs before bed. I remember my friends partner helping me by putting the nappy under her bum now I remember thinking a thought along the lines of "touch her if you want" and I've convinced myself that I said it out loud and that he did touch my daughter and I let him? I don't even know what to do. I can't remember exactly. I definitely remember him putting the nappy under her bum but not sure if I said the thought out loud or not and I don't even know what to do. Surely if I did then I wouldn't of went back to their house and surely I wouldn't be here today as I would've killed myself?! I was hoping I had spoke about this before but I've looked through my previous posts and nothing is mentioned so this makes me panic even worse. I know my hormones are all over the place as I'm pregnant. Link to comment
Chels Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 I'm in the same boat as you I have convinced myself iv done something to my sibling all because of something my mam said... and now because I thought that much into it iv made up a scenario because I pictured it = it must of happened!! This is driving me insane I think what we need to do is say ok it happened (even though we hope it didn't) but just give it no attention. So hard to do tho cause you feel the need to confes to me given the chance to admit to it incase but I dunno I'm in same boat hope your okay xz Link to comment
findingithard Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 I know how you feel hun. It's a nightmare. It feels so real doesn't it? I've tried all day to not ruminate and think about it but it's so much easier said than done. Hope you're okay. We suffer with ocd and I think deep down we know these are false memories but ocd is the doubting disease after all. X Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 What you do is nothing. Looking through your previous posts was a compulsion. You're drawing attention to this nonsense, which makes it seem more credible in your mind. Link to comment
findingithard Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 You're right. The more I think of it, the more it paints a clearer picture in my mind and I'm guessing that's what ocd does. I should know how evil ocd can be by now. When will I ever learn. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Start today. Tell the thoughts to go take a hike and have a great day. Link to comment
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