Acceptance

[robbiec87]

How do I become at peace with a previous incident in life?

I've finally attending CBT sessions now. I sometimes have trouble thinking about a previous sexual encounter from a while back. 

Basically I was drunk and went round a woman's house. I was wasted, she wasn't. Didn't even have full sexual intercourse. Some oral the morning after but that was that.

I think about it every now and then and think I raped her because I was drunk. I even messaged said woman and she said "don't be daft." She even sent me a message on New Year wishing me a happy new year lol. I've even talked to my therapist about this and she said don't worry about it.

But why am I worrying? How can I move forward and accept nothing wrong happened?

[PolarBear]

You just do. Right now your mind is telling you that you did something bad. I suspect an intrusive thought. You gave that meaning and did compulsions, including asking her about it. But that's not good enough so you ruminate endlessly over it.

Classic OCD. Let it go. 

[robbiec87]

I did give it meaning yeah. This incident happened in August 2016 and I asked her about it in December 2016.

Weird how it’s come back to ‘haunt’ me so to speak.

[robbiec87]

I’m proper relapsing over this. I don’t need reassurance, just advise on how to cope.

[PolarBear]

I van surmise that your chief problem is that you endlessly ruminate over this. That keeps the thoughts aluve and causes you to feel terrible.

You need to give yourself permission to let this go. There's nothing to solve. No answers are required. It's done and over wuth and you are allowed to move on.

Then you have to get your ruminating in check.