Sorry ?

[lostinme]

It’s so sad to see so many of you struggling at the moment  it’s not easy I agree and it’s terribly unpleasant  

I’ve personally not been as active as usual lately because of illness and a lacking of my self confidence to feel in a position to post  I think this is because of my upset over a recent bereavement, illness and not moving forward cbt wise because of several reasons. I don’t tend  to reply to posts on the forum when I’m struggling myself because I need to feel in a positive mood to respond with advice. It’s when I’m feeling in a good place that I like to hopefully share positive advice and share threads to how I’ve managed to achieve this and how hopefully it can help others  

I think it’s good to share positivity and share our journey towards recovery and how having cbt and making changes as improved our lives. I think quite often only reading sad ? threads where people are struggling tend to have a snowball effect where we begin to feel like can we ever beat this. If we see positive threads where others are doing well and slowly rebuilding their life through cbt it helps lift our spirits and enables us to see that things can and do get better. 

I think personally if we continually read negativity about how we are struggling and never read a little positivity about how some are moving forward and slowly getting there lives back, we could possibly become negative about recovery being possible  

Thats why quite often I shared positive threads explaining how I’d managed to overcome different aspects of my OCD with the hope to help others, maybe a little annoying at times though, also sharing a little banter to hopefully bring a little light hearted fun and smiles.I only posted with the good intent to help others to help them see how change is definetly possible and hopefully by seeing another peer taking you through their recovery would be in some way helpful to aid you in your recovery  

Ok, I will explain the purpose of this post. 

I’ve become nervous of posting and lost my self confidence in doing so, even though I feel in a good place OCD wise. Its got to the point where I’ve considered leaving the forum altogether, but that’s the last thing I want to do, I want to try to help others and share what I’ve learnt on my journey. I know that this is down to my OCD so the only way to get over this is to make a post so that’s why I needed to do this. 

Sorry for the rant  but I needed to take this first step 

 

[daja]

Don’t leave us. x

[snowbear]

16 minutes ago, lostinme said:

I know that this is down to my OCD so the only way to get over this is to make a post so that’s why I needed to do this. 

  That's the spirit. Fight back.  

17 minutes ago, lostinme said:

It’s so sad to see so many of you struggling at the moment 

I think this perfectly illustrates how where we're at personally can influence our perception of what's going on around us. 

We've been reading the same forum, right? Yet I've been logging on and off several times a day recently thinking 'Great, no major issues, most people are doing well.'   If anything I've picked up a vibe that the collective struggles of our happy band are currently less than they sometimes are!

So remember folks, at the times you're not feeling confident and are afraid of 'saying the wrong thing' or being negative, or whatever the individual worry of the moment is - other people aren't necessarily perceiving things as you are perceiving them, so don't let your worries stop you posting if you want to. 

Taking part, being sociable, contributing in small ways - these are excellent pick-me-ups. I don't just mean on the forum, but in life generally. Any time life seems a struggle our instinct is to withdraw, yet doing the opposite and joining in is beneficial for low mood, low confidence and can help to stop a ruminating mind. 

Hopefully having contributed and posted, Lostie, you're feeling that benefit and are now happier and more confident.

[taurean]

Snowbear's is a great perception lost. 

The way we think in distortions can give us a poor impression, a blue view of things. 

Often when people reach our forums they are desperate - and their stories sad.

But I think the best thing they have done is actually find us. 

And those that listen to what we suggest, believe what we have learned on our OCD journeys, have a great chance of improvement. 

A great service we offer is belief they can do that, and encouragement - and you do both those things so well lost 

And the story of your journey along the road to recovery is inspirational. 

So we start of with a bunch of desperados - but gradually they learn to reframe their perceptions - see the silver linings. 

 

[gingerbreadgirl]

I'd hate the thought of you leaving because you don't feel confident to post, Lost - I think you're a huge inspiration round here and you've helped me loads of times with your positive attitude and caring approach

I really hope you stick around and continue to spread your positivity, I know it makes a huge difference to me and I'm sure it does to others as well xxx

[Gemma7]

Good for you for posting lost

It's such a shame that you're feeling so low in confidence and i hope posting this will help you realise that you are valued as a member of the forum and that we want you to stay. 

I think there are positive aspects even in the negative posts, lots of advice/support and thanks, so we can focus on that. And if you want to post about any success, go for it!

[Avo]

Hi lost,

Sorry to hear your struggling at the moment with self confidence. I too suffer sometimes feeling that I want to reply but I don't feel in the right place. I don't think you should be putting too much pressure on yourself to feel obliged  to reply, if you can great but if you can't then that's OK too. Sometimes we are strong and sometimes we are not, that too is ok.

Positive posts are very much a part of this forum. It's a great inspiration to us to hear how you and others have been getting to grips with Ocd. I think that's what makes these forums so good. There is a good range of life experiences on here and that helps make for a rich tapestry of input to the forums and your part of that mix.

I would be sad to see you leave the forum community, I think it would be a poorer place without you.

[taurean]

I try to be selective regarding which topics to reply to. 

Like you lost I can get affected by them, they can be distressing and upsetting, and in that way drag us down. 

So I remind myself that the forum is a collective, working together for the common good. 

Then I select topics where I believe that if I respond, I might make a real difference - that has made a major impact on how I think and feel regarding posting. 

Periodically we get positive feedback, and when I have shared the help responsibility it is a great feeling. 

[PhilM]

Your responses to my threads have always been kind and supportive. You are a well respected forum friend to many regular users.

[lostinme]

19 hours ago, daja said:

Don’t leave us. x

Bless you daja  as I say that’s the last thing I want to do, but I need to find an happy medium to how I’m feeling at mo and the purpose of this thread is to hopefully help me find this 

Hope your ok and still doing well 

[lostinme]

18 hours ago, snowbear said:

  That's the spirit. Fight back.  

I think this perfectly illustrates how where we're at personally can influence our perception of what's going on around us. 

We've been reading the same forum, right? Yet I've been logging on and off several times a day recently thinking 'Great, no major issues, most people are doing well.'   If anything I've picked up a vibe that the collective struggles of our happy band are currently less than they sometimes are!

So remember folks, at the times you're not feeling confident and are afraid of 'saying the wrong thing' or being negative, or whatever the individual worry of the moment is - other people aren't necessarily perceiving things as you are perceiving them, so don't let your worries stop you posting if you want to. 

Taking part, being sociable, contributing in small ways - these are excellent pick-me-ups. I don't just mean on the forum, but in life generally. Any time life seems a struggle our instinct is to withdraw, yet doing the opposite and joining in is beneficial for low mood, low confidence and can help to stop a ruminating mind. 

Hopefully having contributed and posted, Lostie, you're feeling that benefit and are now happier and more confident.

I’m trying to snow, but it’s difficult working out what part is OCD and what part is down to me as a person? 

Yes I totally agree with what your saying, because I’ve been a little down on myself lately can possibly change the way I perhaps perceive things  and as you say others are not necessarily perceiving things the same way that you are 

I totally agree, it’s quite easy to withdraw yourself from situations, however this just increases the problem and makes it harder to rejoin at a later stage, because the more you withdraw the harder it becomes to join in again 

Not at the moment sadly, I need to work out what part is OCD and what part is down to normal 

Thank you for your reply it’s much appreciated, 

lostie 

[lostinme]

17 hours ago, taurean said:

Snowbear's is a great perception lost. 

The way we think in distortions can give us a poor impression, a blue view of things. 

Often when people reach our forums they are desperate - and their stories sad.

But I think the best thing they have done is actually find us. 

And those that listen to what we suggest, believe what we have learned on our OCD journeys, have a great chance of improvement. 

A great service we offer is belief they can do that, and encouragement - and you do both those things so well lost 

And the story of your journey along the road to recovery is inspirational. 

So we start of with a bunch of desperados - but gradually they learn to reframe their perceptions - see the silver linings. 

 

Yes I totally agree with everything snow as said 

That’s the problem, I don’t think I quite expressed my concern in the correct way on my first thread after rereading it again 

My concern is that people tend to come here in a distressed state to seek advice and support, and possibly the last thing they want to hear is me being so positive about how far I’ve come and cheering them on all the time, or jesting on a forum when people are coming here for a serious reason. So I’m feeling that maybe I did this way too much  even though it was only for good intentions for others to be able to see if she can do it, so can we and give them the courage to go for it, because I thought that if they can see change is possible  it will help encourage them to try cbt themselves. Unfortunately I feel I did it a little to much so instead of it coming across as offering encouragement, it became more of an irritation  ? 

This is where I need to work on a happy medium, where I’m sharing my successes on my journey but not rubbing their faces in it, so to speak. It’s a learning process. But I’m afraid if I didn’t post now I would have slowly just left the forum  and that’s the last thing I want to do. 

7 hours ago, taurean said:

I try to be selective regarding which topics to reply to. 

Like you lost I can get affected by them, they can be distressing and upsetting, and in that way drag us down. 

So I remind myself that the forum is a collective, working together for the common good. 

Then I select topics where I believe that if I respond, I might make a real difference - that has made a major impact on how I think and feel regarding posting. 

Periodically we get positive feedback, and when I have shared the help responsibility it is a great feeling. 

Thank you for taking the time to reply Roy, I know your extremely busy on the home front  I totally understand what your saying, but it’s all become a problem and I need to work out what part is OCD issues and what part is me ?

[lostinme]

10 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I'd hate the thought of you leaving because you don't feel confident to post, Lost - I think you're a huge inspiration round here and you've helped me loads of times with your positive attitude and caring approach

I really hope you stick around and continue to spread your positivity, I know it makes a huge difference to me and I'm sure it does to others as well xxx

Thank you so much for your kind words gbg, it means a lot to me 

This is where I’m struggling, I want to be supportive, offer advice and share my own experiences of my journey and encourage every one on, but to the right degree, if this makes sense? I’ve never been part of any social media before, so I’m unsure what is the right or wrong approach, I don’t want to over do it, if you know what I mean ? 

If I didn’t post regarding it now, I’m afraid I would have eventually left the forum  and that’s the last thing I want to do. 

Thank you again for your kind words xx

[gingerbreadgirl]

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to post! - I think you should just be you I sometimes worry that I've said the wrong thing but at the end of the day we're all just doing our best and trying to help! I genuinely love your positivity and encouragement and I think the forum would be a lot poorer place without it.  Please stay    xxx

Edited February 4, 2018 by gingerbreadgirl

[lostinme]

8 hours ago, Gemma7 said:

Good for you for posting lost

It's such a shame that you're feeling so low in confidence and i hope posting this will help you realise that you are valued as a member of the forum and that we want you to stay. 

I think there are positive aspects even in the negative posts, lots of advice/support and thanks, so we can focus on that. And if you want to post about any success, go for it!

Thank you Gemma   it was you that made me decide to post, that I needed to sort this before I totally drifted away from the forum altogether 

Im hoping by getting any advice it will hopefully help me get back my confidence, I know partially it’s OCD so that’s why I needed to post before I totally withdrew altogether  as they say I’ve took the first step 

So thank you again ? 

 

[JennieWren]

I love your positivity and how you cheer people on. I think your caring and thoughtful posts help a lot of people, including myself. You don't come across as having too light hearted an approach . Please keep posting in your usual way. I think you are awesome and very valuable within this community.

[lostinme]

8 hours ago, Avo said:

Hi lost,

Sorry to hear your struggling at the moment with self confidence. I too suffer sometimes feeling that I want to reply but I don't feel in the right place. I don't think you should be putting too much pressure on yourself to feel obliged  to reply, if you can great but if you can't then that's OK too. Sometimes we are strong and sometimes we are not, that too is ok.

Positive posts are very much a part of this forum. It's a great inspiration to us to hear how you and others have been getting to grips with Ocd. I think that's what makes these forums so good. There is a good range of life experiences on here and that helps make for a rich tapestry of input to the forums and your part of that mix.

I would be sad to see you leave the forum community, I think it would be a poorer place without you.

Oh bless you Avo! such kind words 

The last thing I want to do is leave this forum community, I think it’s a great place  and I want to be a part of it always. But I felt I was slowly allowing myself to withdraw from it, much to my dismay, but I think OCD is playing a big part in it sadly  ? 

I think ? I possibly get to involved at times? I don’t take on everyone’s worry’s or anything like that and only post if I feel I can give any positive input. But it really saddens me when I see someone suffering because I know what they are going through and feel their pain, because either I’m there in the same place or i have been there? So I like to cheer them on and encourage them because I know Change is possible because Im achieving it and want to share this to encourage them to start making changes too and slowly they will start to feel better the same as I have  So my heart as always been in the right place, but unfortunately I think at times I’ve probably become irritating, rather than helping  so it’s something I need to work on 

Hope your ok and still doing well 

[lostinme]

7 hours ago, PhilM said:

Your responses to my threads have always been kind and supportive. You are a well respected forum friend to many regular users.

Thank you Phil for your kind words  it means a lot 

My intentions are only ever good ones, to hopefully help others to realise that we can all make changes and slowly get our lives back from this dreaded disorder. It’s only because of how far I’ve come, that I know and I believe that we can all get better, so seeing someone in distress saddens me, because I know with the right therapist and hard work we are all capable of improving our lives for the better. I know I’ve still got some way to go and it’s took me a long time to get here (2 years) but it wasn’t going to be a quick change after living and believing this way for 42 years, but I never ever give up hope of defeating these last few hurdles 

Hope your day as been a better one 

[Emsie]

Hi Lost, 

I just want to say that I think you're amazing, your posts really inspire me and you've been so kind and caring and helped me so much. You've helped many, many others too. You've said a few times on this thread about your posts being irritating and that is so not the case. They are supportive, kind, positive, helpful, encouraging, compassionate and many other wonderful things and of course they provide great advice.

It is such a great inspiration to hear positive posts and successes. You are such a highly valued member of this community and I hope that you can regain your confidence. I would be very sad if you left the forum, we need you. Please keep posting as you normally would.

A huge thank you for all of the help, support, guidance, kindness and encouragement that you've given me. Thank you so much for cheering us all on, it means so much, more than you will ever know, 

All my best wishes, Em xxx

Edited February 4, 2018 by Emsie

[lostinme]

49 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to post! - I think you should just be you I sometimes worry that I've said the wrong thing but at the end of the day we're all just doing our best and trying to help! I genuinely love your positivity and encouragement and I think the forum would be a lot poorer place without it.  Please stay    xxx

Bless you gbg, your so sweet  this forum is full of wonderful people and I’ve made a few good forum friends in my time here  I think ? 

Its sad that I can’t just be myself anymore like I used to, but unfortunately OCD as a play in it too, that’s why I needed to post before I slowly withdrew altogether and sadly I would have left the forum and that’s the last thing I want to do 

I’ve gone against my OCD and posted this thread and Im hoping by starting this post I will slowly regain my confidence to do so again. I love being a part of this wonderful community forum, even if I do tend to overdo my cheer leading duties  xx

 

[gingerbreadgirl]

10 minutes ago, Emsie said:

You've said a few times on this thread about your posts being irritating and that is so not the case. They are supportive, kind, positive, helpful, encouraging, compassionate and many other wonderful things and of course they provide great advice.

I couldn't agree more!! Your posts are in no way irritating Lost - they are lovely and kind and uplifting I totally agree with the many people who've said they appreciate your posts and want you to stay.  xx

[Gemma7]

You keep saying your posts are irritating, but has someone actually said they are or do you just feel like you might be being irritating? 

This is the OCD like part. Using feelings as evidence and second guessing. Unless someone says your posts are irritating (which i doubt people will), don't act like anyone has. Easier to say than do i know. 

And you are definitely a friend to me

[lostinme]

36 minutes ago, JennieWren said:

I love your positivity and how you cheer people on. I think your caring and thoughtful posts help a lot of people, including myself. You don't come across as having too light hearted an approach . Please keep posting in your usual way. I think you are awesome and very valuable within this community.

Oh bless you Jennie your so sweet  I’m so overwhelmed by all my reply’s 

I think my problem is, I read all the struggles of other sufferers and feel that pain, I get carried away with wanting to help them to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that things can and do get better, with commitment and hard work ? So because I know with my own experiences that life can get so much better  I want to encourage them to take that leap of faith because I believe that we can all do this  x

 

[lostinme]

24 minutes ago, Emsie said:

Hi Lost, 

I just want to say that I think you're amazing, your posts really inspire me and you've been so kind and caring and helped me so much. You've helped many, many others too. You've said a few times on this thread about your posts being irritating and that is so not the case. They are supportive, kind, positive, helpful, encouraging, compassionate and many other wonderful things and of course they provide great advice.

It is such a great inspiration to hear positive posts and successes. You are such a highly valued member of this community and I hope that you can regain your confidence. I would be very sad if you left the forum, we need you. Please keep posting as you normally would.

A huge thank you for all of the help, support, guidance, kindness and encouragement that you've given me. Thank you so much for cheering us all on, it means so much, more than you will ever know, 

All my best wishes, Em xxx

Bless you Emsie, you are such a lovely lady 

My head feels huge now and I’m feeling a little warm  blushing slightly ☺️ I think if I got a reply like this every day, my confidence would soon get back to normal 

No seriously, you always say the nicest of things to me and if I’m feeling low that mood soon lifts  you really are a sweet and kind caring person  and it’s been an absolute pleasure if I have managed to help you in any way possible  I always said if I could just help one person I’d be happy ? 

Sending you my bestest wishes as always, lost xx

 

[lostinme]

27 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I couldn't agree more!! Your posts are in no way irritating Lost - they are lovely and kind and uplifting I totally agree with the many people who've said they appreciate your posts and want you to stay.  xx

I’m so overwhelmed, with all my wonderful reply’s and kind words   I’m lost for words ? 

You are all truly lovely people and you have all been so very very kind  to me  xx