God iam bk with a new 1 !!!please tell me Iam not what ocd is telling me !!!

[tinkerbell]

My old thought went were thinking I was hearing voice when In fact I was mind talking to my self I found it funny now but god ocd is awful and now it's bk with a old thought !!!!!

Now I think I'm I can't evern type it its disgusting it's so ocd I know it is but it's making me think iam this person when I'm a not !!!!! When I was 16 I was a baby I wasn't a odd ball at all and never had 1 of any thoughts is this way but this old ocd thought has pop up.my little brother was in my bed a sleep !!! He was only about 6 at the time and was in my bed he hates sleeping on his own xx anyway he was facing the wall side so he was looking at the wall  and fast alseep ... this sound so strange but I know in my deep heart I keep saying it to myslef Iam not a pedo!!!!! They was a programme on telly about woman that masturbate I thought  ohh I wan try that so I took myslef on the floor and made sure he was a sleep and I was face the door and done it I would have never done it in the bed no way! It wasn't over my brother the thought of that makes me sick I keep saying to myself it' ok u was doing it & I was thinking of my boyfriend but it' cos he was in my bedroom alseep ...:( would I do that know at my ages no way would I !!! It' eating me up inside why did I think it was ok for me to do that there was not evil sick thought in my  head its cos it was on telly later and I thought well I'm a going to try that I made sure he was alseep and I was facing the other way !! I've got this massive urge to confess to my mum &boyfriend !!!!it' so strange it' like well if I tell them then they will tell me yes u are a pedo or its ok it's all ocd !!! In my heart I know deep down its was harmless and if that was to happend now at the age of 30 I would never in my wild dreams do that with my son /brother of any kid in the room it' turn my belly !!!Iam not that person I really hate ocd it' awful !!!and to top it all off Iam still on my meds of ivf !!! They are putting 2 embro bk nxt week them injections have made my ocd horrible and so hard !!! Iam on HRT to I feel so down with it :(just need somone to talk to xxx

[Hal]

Hi tinkerbell,

Try if you can to resist giving into the compulsion to tell your mum and b/f about this.....try to surf the urge and the anxiety/urge will gradually fade of its own accord, it always does, no compulsions necessary.

This is OCD making a mountain out of molehill from a normal phase of experimentation and latching it onto something completely unrelated, let it go if you can by working hard at refocusing on other things for the rest of the day....watching tv, having a chat with friends or family (no mentioning the thoughts though), going for a walk.....well, maybe not a walk it's pretty today, but you get my drift.

Let the thoughts go, they're not important.......

[tinkerbell]

thanks for getting bk it' a killer it's one I have had this b4 I just hate that there were I feel like I've got to confess. My husband bought me a beautiful new sofa but in the bk of my mind I thought u wouldn'tbe getting me thay if u know the thought that I was having ?there was nothink in it at all I just didn't think .. why is it playing on my.mind so much

 

[Ashley]

Hi Tinkerbell,

I understand you're struggling to cope with the OCD thoughts. Are you actually getting any treatment for your OCD?  Feeling and thinking differently to our OCD is not easy, and it takes time and until then our response to the thoughts will fill us with dread and make us believe the worst.  Which is why it's so important we all try and do what we can to tackle our OCD, and for most of us this does mean therapy.

Ashley

P.S. Just a little suggestion to help you get more responses, perhaps try and avoid txt talk like bk instead of back and try and break big text up with paragraph line breaks, it makes it easier to read for others, so will hopefully help increase the amount of responses you get

[Hal]

8 hours ago, tinkerbell said:

 why is it playing on my.mind so much

......because this is what OCD does if we take the thoughts at face value as being important/meaningful and engage with them The key as Ashley's mentioned, is to keep working at changing our response, by ignoring them they'll fade away,.....but focus on them and you're guaranteeing they'll stick around more.....it's the old vicious cycle. 

You've got a lot on your plate at the moment with the IVF and how stressful that must be, hopefully after next week things might settle down and the anxiety will fall too....but try to resist performing the compulsion by telling your family about this, when things settle down you'll see this is OCD at work, but to achieve that you have to treat it as OCD.

Take care.