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Adolescents and medication - "forgetting"


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Not impressed I must admit but thats my son to a tee. Goes with the flow, expects things to bend the way he wants etc and will make zero effort to help himself.

We've spent over £500 on private consultant appointments to get him seen and presribed medication. Found out for the last 10 days hes "forgotten" to take it.

Hes almost 15 - I'm absolately bomping mad with him. Surely, at 15 he should be able to know the importance of it?

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Paul,

I’ve been reading some of your posts over the last day or so. It sounds like you and your family are going through quite a lot at the moment. I’ve been a carer to a now adult with Autism for 18 years and I have a daughter with OCD (as well as being an ocd sufferer myself). I’m not medically qualified at all here just sharing what your posts made me think of which is something I read on the National Autistic Society website once about something called PDA (hope it’s ok with OCD UK to refer to another organisation here). PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, (the name doesn’t make any sense to me) and the description suggests that it is a way anxiety is expressed in people who are on the spectrum. I don’t know if this is your situation but it maybe worth a look.

The adult I care for with Autism forgets medication as part of her conditions and needs checking on everyday to ensure she’s had them. I think for now, even around possible meltdowns, you may need to keep and administer the meds so you’re sure they’re being taken especially as it seems they maybe an essential link in the chain to helping your son get better. I know the meltdowns can be tough, and even this much is exhausting, but I think getting the meds taken, even if nothing else is achieved at this stage, is a massive step forward and it could help enable later steps.

Hoping for the best for you all.

 

Edited by SaraJane
My grammar!
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On 28/03/2018 at 20:07, SaraJane said:

Hi Paul,

I’ve been reading some of your posts over the last day or so. It sounds like you and your family are going through quite a lot at the moment. I’ve been a carer to a now adult with Autism for 18 years and I have a daughter with OCD (as well as being an ocd sufferer myself). I’m not medically qualified at all here just sharing what your posts made me think of which is something I read on the National Autistic Society website once about something called PDA (hope it’s ok with OCD UK to refer to another organisation here). PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, (the name doesn’t make any sense to me) and the description suggests that it is a way anxiety is expressed in people who are on the spectrum. I don’t know if this is your situation but it maybe worth a look.

The adult I care for with Autism forgets medication as part of her conditions and needs checking on everyday to ensure she’s had them. I think for now, even around possible meltdowns, you may need to keep and administer the meds so you’re sure they’re being taken especially as it seems they maybe an essential link in the chain to helping your son get better. I know the meltdowns can be tough, and even this much is exhausting, but I think getting the meds taken, even if nothing else is achieved at this stage, is a massive step forward and it could help enable later steps.

Hoping for the best for you all.

 

Thanks SJ for the advice :-)

Yes I've heard about PDA and we are wondering. To be honest, sons behaviour gets worse  and more violent. This weekend he decide to throw one of those portable phone battery chargers at me (few inches across and heavy enough to kill someone with to be honest). All because he disagreed about something silly.

To be honest, we don't know what to do. CAMHS tell us to call the Police (great!).

Relatives and friends tell us we have to be patient and remember hes ill before we lose our temper. Im sure I'm going to have an "episode" next time someone says that! No-one knows unless they;ve been there - walk a mile in someone elses shoes and all that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It sounds very stressful and frightening Paul. I can understand your frustration with family and friends - I guess they’re trying to be helpful but it’s impossible for anyone to fully understand unless, as you say, they walk in your shoes.

 

I’m wondering what the police could do if they were called and what powers, if any, they have. There maybe someone here who has some insight into that. 

 

Did you say your son goes to school? How are they finding things? 

 

Do you have other children at home? As your son’s behaviour is dangerous it maybe necessary to look at a way of removing your son from the home for a while for the other children’s protection. This is not a tenable situation as I know you must be aware of. It’s an agonising choice (I’ve had to do this so I know a little) but at your son’s age he’s big enough to do real harm -  as you say, potentially fatal harm. It would give you all some space to work out where to go from here.

 

Hope you see some light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Sara

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/04/2018 at 10:43, SaraJane said:

It sounds very stressful and frightening Paul. I can understand your frustration with family and friends - I guess they’re trying to be helpful but it’s impossible for anyone to fully understand unless, as you say, they walk in your shoes.

 

I’m wondering what the police could do if they were called and what powers, if any, they have. There maybe someone here who has some insight into that. 

 

Did you say your son goes to school? How are they finding things? 

 

Do you have other children at home? As your son’s behaviour is dangerous it maybe necessary to look at a way of removing your son from the home for a while for the other children’s protection. This is not a tenable situation as I know you must be aware of. It’s an agonising choice (I’ve had to do this so I know a little) but at your son’s age he’s big enough to do real harm -  as you say, potentially fatal harm. It would give you all some space to work out where to go from here.

 

Hope you see some light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Sara

Hi Sara,

Yes its a nightmare at times.

Got out of him the other day that he hadn't taken his medication for a "few weeks". First instinct was to go mad but I resisted thinking about how much we'd spent on private psych appointments to get this mediation and how far wife had to take him to these appointments.

So now, 10pm every night (when he goes to bed on school night) he comes downstairs and take his tablet. He moans about being treated like a child but we have no choice.

He is MUCH calmer when he takes his meds.

School - hes ok at school for some reason. Seems to behave.

Hes got a  4 year old sister and we've had one or two occasions where hes been a bit rough. Also hes now bigger than his mother. So far, only one who's hes been violent with and thrown things at is me. Im a big lad so can deal with him if ever needed to.

Its always a worry that he is going to be violent with his sister or mother when I'm not there. Like you said, if that happens then we are going to face some hard decisions.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Paul,

Thank you for writing an update here - I have been thinking of your posts a bit and hoped things were improving for you.

It sounds like you’ve made a fab dint into dealing with things with the new approach to medication and I am glad to hear it is helping your son - hopefully over time the medication will become even more effective. Hopefully too it will lay some foundations that will make it easier to work out some of the other issues with your son and apply other strategies like CBT.

I’m glad school is going ok - it’s good your son is there during the day so you and your family get chance of some respite and there is hopefully no threat of him being expelled. If your son is more settled at school for now it maybe helpful to see if he can go to clubs or other activities to extend the time you get - this may also be an option if it means your son will only be home when you are so your wife and daughter feel safer. 

Keep up the good work.

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On 5/4/2018 at 21:30, SaraJane said:

Hi Paul,

Thank you for writing an update here - I have been thinking of your posts a bit and hoped things were improving for you.

It sounds like you’ve made a fab dint into dealing with things with the new approach to medication and I am glad to hear it is helping your son - hopefully over time the medication will become even more effective. Hopefully too it will lay some foundations that will make it easier to work out some of the other issues with your son and apply other strategies like CBT.

I’m glad school is going ok - it’s good your son is there during the day so you and your family get chance of some respite and there is hopefully no threat of him being expelled. If your son is more settled at school for now it maybe helpful to see if he can go to clubs or other activities to extend the time you get - this may also be an option if it means your son will only be home when you are so your wife and daughter feel safer. 

Keep up the good work.

Meds is one thing that's better. Not much else is :-(

Its weird with school - he always gets good reports. They says hes extremely lazy with a "can't be bothered" atttude but behaviour wise hes fine.

Its really strange because at home, hes shouting, screaming, getting in your face, throwing things at you, more recently, punching me. He would have been expelled from school by now.

In some ways I wish he was like this at school. Its been hell getting them to send in a referral for his Aspergers (school are useless!) Im sure they think we're making it up. Not that I want him to get expelled but no-one is listening and we need an ally at the moment to speak to the powers that be and tell them whats going on. If the school were onboard and saw what he was like then we might get somewhere. I'd rather get him expelled to be honest than him ending up in prison or someone in hospital - which is where this is going :-( 

We had a counsellor the same. He was quiet and polite all the time and I'm sure she thought we were making it up. Until they arranged a parent/child session - it went badly when he almost launched across this poor ladies home office (at his mother who'd said something he didnt agree with). Last time she suggested a joint session (and we were asked not to come into the house ever but to let him walk outside to the car lol)  but, to be fair, she did put in the referral to CAMHS the very next day!

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