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My head hurts


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I’m trying so hard. Yesterday I spent the entire day in a thought loop. The thoughts don’t even make sense, it’s like my brain skips half way through them to the next one. After another discussion with my husband I agreed that today I would tell myself that I have already dealt with this, I don’t need to go there.... well if anything it’s made it worse. The last couple of weeks I’ve been managing by keeping busy. But I’m exhausted. I can’t keep this up. 

Ive been doing my exposure every day. I’ve been trying to agree with the thoughts. I’ve told myself not to pay them any attention. I’ve been reading my ocd books again and going through the self help exercises. I’ve been having counselling and CBT since October. 

Honestly I don’t know what more I can throw at this. I’m exhausted. And I can’t shake the feeling that this is persisting because it’s true. 

My head hurts so much ?

Edited by Rox
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29 minutes ago, Rox said:

I can’t shake the feeling that this is persisting because it’s true. 

This is persisting because you're buying into the idea it might be true. Subtle difference, but a hugely important one. 

Feelings aren't reality. Feeling something is true doesn't make it true. The other side of that coin is believing wishful thinking makes wishes come true and you know that's rubbish, right? :) 

As long as you keep telling yourself, 'If it feels true then it is true' you'll be tempted to keep ruminating on it to find proof.

As long as you keep going over it in your mind it will continue to feel true.

Catch 22. Round you go.

No wonder you're exhausted. :( 

My advice is to start working on the misinterpretation, 'What feels true must be true.' Tell yourself a million times a day that just because something feels true doesn't make it real. When your brain accepts that message the desire to keep going over it based on a feeling will lessen. 

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Thank you snowbear. I have been telling myself a lot today that just because something feels true doesn’t make it true and it has been a better day today. X

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ERP is hard unfortunately, the exhaustion and stress you go through to put things right is awful. I sympathise totally with where you are atm. Keep positive as the more you practise the more accepting you become - I know it doesn't feel like that atm. Also be kind to yourself - an important lesson my therapist taught me when I was in your position. Take one day at a time. Have time for yourself where ERP is not the focus of every event and don't feel guilty for not getting everything sorted straight away. I only started making progress once I stopped recording my ERP activities as they became less of a focus in my life (Hope this makes sense). 

Remember why you are doing all this work.  The rewards truly are worth the hard work. Stay positive you can do this x

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