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efes

When people have tried everything and felt like nothing works...

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...What exactly have they not done, which is why they haven't recovered?

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Seriously, what have I not done? I have no shortage of good advice and followed a lot of it.

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Hi efes, 

It really could be any number of things, and that aside, recovery isn't a quick process, much as I wish it was. 

For me, I had to make 3 med changes before finding what worked for me, and though the first therapist I had was a lovely man, it just didn't work. Thankfully I have found another therapist who really helps me. 

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6 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

The work

Another one of your short, cryptic and unfortunately unhelpful posts.

It takes a lot to overcome OCD. Yes you have to do the work but first you have to fully understand what works needs to be done and why.

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8 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Another one of your short, cryptic and unfortunately unhelpful posts.

It takes a lot to overcome OCD. Yes you have to do the work but first you have to fully understand what works needs to be done and why.

I agree with this so much. At the end of the day OCD is by far the biggest and hardest fight of our lives and sometimes it takes a long time and a LOT OF THERAPY to get to the bottom of it all and recover, it’s unhelpful to make someone feel like they aren’t doing “the work” some people need a hell of a lot more work than others depending on the severity of thei OCD and it’s not just as straight forward as saying “here’s what you have to do go and do it” if only it was that easy. 

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I really need to disagree with you guys here.

The work, the work, the work, HOWEVER i could have misjudge how much knowledge efes have. I totally agree with you when you say one need the knowledge. I do, but there comes a point when it is just about the OCD fooling us. When a person already have the knowledge but just let the OCD spew nonsense. 

And sure you could ask about my motives, my motives are to get people to recover because it is such a frustrating condition. That is my priority. But i will actually look at my approach! I need to analyze what knowledge the person have, before i write. Because it could be i sometimes just assume everybody have the knowledge. Sorry if that is the case.

I would prefer someone telling me "you are not doing the work" before getting a gentle answer. Playing the "who suffers the most- game" is not my favorite-game.

Edited by Isthisreality

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Would I say that nothing works for me right now? Uh, as for me, all the work makes me have bursts of euphoria, but I'm still incapable of relaxing. 

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Well I am planning to write a piece based on what we may not be doing right, that likely holds us back, so that may be helpful efes. Haven't started yet, needs some groundwork and notes first. 

Learning some relaxation skills is both fun and really helpful. Take a look at medication, breathing exercises to calm us down, and guided meditations. I love the latter, you can download them to your phone and take a powerbreak listening to a gentle voice taking you on a journey to a calm place. 

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57 minutes ago, efes said:

Would I say that nothing works for me right now? Uh, as for me, all the work makes me have bursts of euphoria, but I'm still incapable of relaxing. 

Like the kind of euphoria where you're excited but still dead inside.

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Perhaps that's secondary depression? ( depression caused by having the mental illness and struggling to overcome it). 

I certainly experienced that, but after acclimatising to the SSRI, it evened my emotions out and eased that depression. 

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On 23/03/2018 at 20:49, efes said:

Seriously, what have I not done? I have no shortage of good advice and followed a lot of it.

How long have you been trying?  What kind of advice have you followed?  Are you seeing a therapist? Regularly?  Have you read any books/workbooks? Do you do the exercises everyday?  Have you tried medication? How man? For how long? At different dosages?  How about ERP? Or mindfulness?

Unfortunately OCD is a challenging condition to overcome and it can take a lot of time and work and practice.  Its totally understandable that you might get frustrated, angry, tired, etc. trying to handle it all.  You might feel like nothings working, but that doesn't necessarily mean its not.  Perhaps you are progressing, just not as quickly/fully as you would like.  Or perhaps you haven't given it enough time to work.  Perhaps you are trying but not quite in the right way yet and you need some more guidance.  Perhaps you are missing some behaviors/compulsions that are hindering your recovery, they can be hard to identify sometimes.

I am sorry that you are struggling and in pain, no one deserves what OCD gives us.  But hang in there and don't give up, its not easy to overcome OCD but its definitely possible.  Breaking the bad habits that you've learned from obsessive behaviors plus changing your mindset to better handle OCD might take many attempts.  

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The reality is that OCD is, certainly for most people, a chronic condition. The aim isn't for OCD to go away, though that's certainly a terrific bonus, but for it to be manageable. It's inevitable that some are going to do better than others along the spectrum of tackling the disorder. That said, there's no excuse, to oneself, for not working on recovery.  

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This is an interesting thread. 

Knowing what I know now about OCD and CBT, it might seem easy for me to dish out objective advice on what a sufferer might need to do to recover. 

But they may discover that the power of the OCD, and its believability, together with compulsive urges, are an incredibly difficult challenge - even with great help, advice, and a therapist of their own. 

I met many challenges, lined up against some particularly challenging competitors, in my business career. 

But the most challenging opponent I have come across in my life has definitely been OCD. 

However, readers of this thread, don't be disheartened - the good news is that the forum is a great place to air difficulties, seek guidance on what aspect of therapy we may not be carrying out correctly, and so get onto the right path. 

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On 23/03/2018 at 11:59, Isthisreality said:

The work

How the hell do you know they haven't?  How dare you make such a suggestion.

 

On 23/03/2018 at 11:49, efes said:

Seriously, what have I not done? I have no shortage of good advice and followed a lot of it.

Please don't give up efes.  Sometimes when people who access the best therapy don't make immediate recovery, myself included we have to go back over old therapy approaches and try again, sometimes using the same approach sometimes working with a different therapist using the same therapy but a slightly different approach. 

I know you may not want to hear this, but sometimes we do have to keep trying, and I know that is so, so hard at times.

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Hey efes, 

I get you, the recovery process can feel incredibly frustrating when you are trying and yet the anxiety is still there. I feel the same way a lot of the time. What I'm learning is that you just have to keep going, keep moving forward. It just takes time.

On 15/10/2018 at 15:03, efes said:

Like the kind of euphoria where you're excited but still dead inside.

I understand this too, but I think that after prolonged stress, it's natural to feel like you've shut off, I sort of think your mind is trying to protect itself from feeling all this negativity, so you end up feeling nothing at all. This is kind of where I'm at a lot of the time and not sure what to do about it. I just try to take it a day at a time and relish in the good moments when they come up, hoping that they will be more and more frequent. 

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This is where the med I take, Citalopram, happened to help me. 

Once I had got down excessive anxiety with CBT, the anti-depression angle to the SSRI started to work, my mood improved, happiness and laughter returned, and this mood level remained stable. 

That was a very good result for me, and made all the hard work and effort, of trying to find a med I could tolerate, so worthwhile. 

I think this is why meds can be referred to as "water wings" - holding us afloat through the troubles and helping us to engage with therapy. 

What med may or may not work with any one individual, and in what way, is sadly very subjective - but I am very glad I persevered with them. 

My plan is to shortly gradually work down from 20mg a day to 10mg and see how we go with that. My ultimate goal is to be able to come off them. 

Edited by taurean

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. The vast majority of those who fail to respond to this treatment combination do so because they become demoralized and throw in the towel.

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54 minutes ago, Handy said:

. The vast majority of those who fail to respond to this treatment combination do so because they become demoralized and throw in the towel.

Some might, but "the vast majority"? On what do you base that premise? 

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On 19/05/2019 at 03:40, Handy said:

The vast majority of those who fail to respond to this treatment combination do so because they become demoralized and throw in the towel.

Vast majority?  Show us your data.

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