We can't beat the waves but we can learn to surf

[ecomum]

Wow, just read this on another post. What a fantastically apt phrase. 

Ocd comes over me like a wave literally. It is impossible to beat it by ruminating  it just gets stronger but riding it out,  by getting busy, allows it to pass. 

Next spike I'm going to ride it out and not fight it and will keep this saying in mind. 

[taurean]

Glad you like it ecomum. It had that same profound effect on me when I first discovered it in "The Little Book Of Mindfulness"  I think it was. ? 

So now let's see how many of us can learn to leave the storms be, and surf over the waves

 

[mdlbrightchild]

I've started to practice this after following Shannon Shy on Facebook and failing at self ERP. Shannon Shy took a different approach with his therapy, he practiced indifference instead of the usual "welcoming and accepting the thoughts as possibly real". I found that doing ERP alone would leave me in a depressed funk all day, so I decided to try his approach. I've been noticing that way I feel when I'm triggered and I've started to practice pushing through with my days while the anxiety sits with me. Being "indifferent". It's not fun, but every time I've done it I've noticed a significant change in my perspective. 

For instance, today I was on the way into a toy store with my kids and I thought "what if a kid with the flu came in here and my kids get sick". As the wave of anxiety rushed over me, I tried with all my strength to resist the temptation to leave and disappoint my kids. I also had to resist strongly the urge to mentally analyze and reassure myself. It was a miserable first 30 minutes in the store and I was irritable and distracted by trying hard to sit with the intense anxiety and ride it out, but I did and after the first half hour I could feel it subsiding and my mood improved. I could actually see where I was previously overreacting, whereas my usual habit of ritualizing would have undoubtedly left me more convinced that my fears of contamination were likely.

This is new for me, and I'm practicing it more and more. It's a great feeling when the worst of the anxiety is over and I know I scored one small point against OCD. 

[ecomum]

Thanks Taurean for posting it. It is no way easy to do but I am going to try, it's great advice. 

Well done mdbrightchild it's a great feeling when you do beat it. 

Speaking of indifference, I find this works too, sometimes. I can feel indifferent to something and think it's OK why was I worried but then it comes back and hits me like a tidal wave. I just don't know why it goes from one to the other. I am trying to keep busy but it's making me exhausted and a bit manic like I'm trying not to stop and think incase thought gets hold. I wish so much I didn't have this. 

Meds helping a bit and seeing  doc today. 

Edited March 28, 2018 by ecomum

[mdlbrightchild]

I get that exact feeling. One moment I feel like my worry was irrational and I can finally move on, I've "seen the light". Then a little while later the same thought appears with a wave of anxiety and doubt and I feel like I was just being tricked.

Some people don't like this idea, but Shannon says to treat OCD as separate from yourself. So when this happens I assume that OCD didn't like that I was finally starting to learn that i could think differently and it responded by slamming me with the obsessive thought and high anxiety. We just need to respond the same way, with total indifference. "Nice try, OCD but I've already learned that thought is crazy and I'm not going back there".

Its hard, I'm only a week or so into this process and I know its going to take months of painful work. Being perfect isn't my goal, I had a bad morning with a different and unexpected theme but I'm going to try and move on and perform better throughout the day. 

[Isthisreality]

20 minutes ago, mdlbrightchild said:

I get that exact feeling. One moment I feel like my worry was irrational and I can finally move on, I've "seen the light". Then a little while later the same thought appears with a wave of anxiety and doubt and I feel like I was just being tricked.

Some people don't like this idea, but Shannon says to treat OCD as separate from yourself. So when this happens I assume that OCD didn't like that I was finally starting to learn that i could think differently and it responded by slamming me with the obsessive thought and high anxiety. We just need to respond the same way, with total indifference. "Nice try, OCD but I've already learned that thought is crazy and I'm not going back there".

Its hard, I'm only a week or so into this process and I know its going to take months of painful work. Being perfect isn't my goal, I had a bad morning with a different and unexpected theme but I'm going to try and move on and perform better throughout the day. 

It goes up and down like that, yes!

[ecomum]

Some times I can address ocd as a separate entity. But I always think what if its not ocd this time. Part of me knows it is because of all the similarities I have to others with ocd. but because it stems from reality( eg. I really did forget to wash my hands before serving food or I really did drop tablets near my child's food etc etc etc) I find it hard to label it as ocd and catastropise so I can no longer function

[PolarBear]

So what if you did forget to wash your hands before serving food? I never do. Your mind tells you that is a major problem but it's not. It's a lie.

[ecomum]

Yeah and probably all the other stuff is too. I just can't shake the' what ifs

'"your mind tells you it's a major problem but it's not its a lie" - great advice I will try and focus on this. Thank you

[SaraJane]

16 hours ago, mdlbrightchild said:

I've started to practice this after following Shannon Shy on Facebook and failing at self ERP. Shannon Shy took a different approach with his therapy, he practiced indifference instead of the usual "welcoming and accepting the thoughts as possibly real". I found that doing ERP alone would leave me in a depressed funk all day, so I decided to try his approach. I've been noticing that way I feel when I'm triggered and I've started to practice pushing through with my days while the anxiety sits with me. Being "indifferent". It's not fun, but every time I've done it I've noticed a significant change in my perspective. 

For instance, today I was on the way into a toy store with my kids and I thought "what if a kid with the flu came in here and my kids get sick". As the wave of anxiety rushed over me, I tried with all my strength to resist the temptation to leave and disappoint my kids. I also had to resist strongly the urge to mentally analyze and reassure myself. It was a miserable first 30 minutes in the store and I was irritable and distracted by trying hard to sit with the intense anxiety and ride it out, but I did and after the first half hour I could feel it subsiding and my mood improved. I could actually see where I was previously overreacting, whereas my usual habit of ritualizing would have undoubtedly left me more convinced that my fears of contamination were likely.

This is new for me, and I'm practicing it more and more. It's a great feeling when the worst of the anxiety is over and I know I scored one small point against OCD. 

Thank you for sharing this - I’ve found indifference increasingly helpful too but hadn’t recognised it as that until I read your post.