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Time to make some necessary changes...


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Basically around 8 month ago things were going really well, for the first time in my life I felt in control, I was feeling so positive, everything felt so good. The days seemed so much lighter, instead of dreary dreaded darkness that it use to be, my body felt as light as a feather like I was walking on air instead of the judgery dragging feeling in my legs, I felt I was blooming, I felt good about myself and the ugly worthless feeling had lifted, this somehow shone through my bodily actions, everything seemed so positive and I felt so good about my self. I became confident and my self respect had returned, after years I felt like a somebody. 

I think the reason behind this was for once in my life I was feeling proud in myself and what I’d achieved so far in my cbt, the encouragement I also received from family which also boosted my confidence, making me feel really good and proud about myself, the feeling that life was after all so worth while after spending so many years feeling utterly useless and worthless, who was no good for nothing. Over a period of time job prospects was mentioned, I’m not sure if this was to boost my confidence or to just give me a boost or to make me feel good about myself, I can’t be sure? For the first time after years of torment I felt I had prospects in life something to aim for, to work towards. The more positive I felt the more I achieved, it felt great, life had a new meaning again a purpose, something to work towards a possibility of a new venture doing a job worth while, it made me feel like a somebody again instead of a nobody, it lifted my spirits and made me believe I could achieve anything I put my mind to. I think at this time I could have achieved recovery, I felt so confident and kept pushing myself forward, looking forward to being a normal person, earning money, mixing with people and enjoying life. Sadly each opportunity never materialised into anything and each time giving my confidence a knock back and negativity took hold again. Slowly sadly I lost my confidence, felt more disheartened and slowly started slipping back into the same old rut and thinking pattern thinking I’m useless, worthless and good for nothing, why did I ever believe I could be anything else.The feelings of worthlessness soon sets in again, the positivity starts to subside your body feels heavy you no longer feel blooming and the smile turns to grimmis. I’ve lost my confidence and self respect again and I feel I’m useless and not capable of achieving anything. This as had a huge impact on my progress because the positivity of feeling I can achieve this as gone. 

Anyway I was reading about law of attraction today and how if we focus on negative doom gloom we will remain under that cloud. I think this is something I believe to be true the more negativity we think the more we seem to attract it to ourselves. However when our mindset is to the positive outlook we seem to attract more positive things. Like above the more positivity I felt, the better things became and the more positive and confident I became. 

So the more negativity we feel around ourselves the more negativity we attract and the same Vicer versa with positivity. 

Reading this today as made me realise that I need to wipe the slate clean and start to begin to move forward again like I had in the beginning and work on achieving a more achievable goal. One that I am more than capable of achieving.

I’m starting to look at new ways of rebuilding my confidence again, because I believe that the more positive you are, the more confident you become, the more we continue to battle our journey towards recovery :)

 

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12 minutes ago, lostinme said:

 if we focus on negative doom gloom we will remain under that cloud. the more negativity we think the more we seem to attract it to ourselves.

However when our mindset is to the positive outlook we seem to attract more positive things. 

I believe that the more positive you are, the more confident you become, the more we continue to battle our journey towards recovery :)

Totally agree. :yes:

As you've discovered, Lostie, the proof of this is demonstrated to you once you start living positively.

When you're locked into the world of negative thinking and the doom and gloom outlook, no matter what people tell you it's almost impossible to believe there's anything good out there.  So changing requires a 'leap of faith'. Same as it takes a leap of faith that giving up compulsions makes you feel better - you only find out it's true  after you've done it. 

I think picking yourself up repeatedly after set-backs can be harder than setting out initially on the recovery journey. It takes courage and determination, but perseverance pays dividends. When you finally get on that upward recovery spiral each small success leads to a bigger success and it's all worth it. :) 

Go Lostie, go! :cheer: 

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The law of attraction is an interesting one and I like it. 

I am also a great advocate of positive thinking. 

Following your story lost I have seen you obliged to face a number of challenging situations and been dragged down by them, as you report now for others' information. 

Those were very tricky, unpleasant situations. But I think you are right - had you been able to apply a different mindset, then you wouldn't have been dragged down so much, and your therapy would not have been so affected. 

So yes, time for a change. 

What happens to us will be, it is going to happen. 

And we all face challenges on this journey through life. Myself a case in point with the challenges I have had over the last several years. 

As with response to OCD intrusions, it's how we respond to a setback that determines whether we cope or not. If we can see these in a more positive light, taking where possible some good things from the situation, then our mood and our emotional well-being will remain good. 

So yes - go lostie go :fool::cheer:

 

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22 hours ago, snowbear said:

Totally agree. :yes:

As you've discovered, Lostie, the proof of this is demonstrated to you once you start living positively.

When you're locked into the world of negative thinking and the doom and gloom outlook, no matter what people tell you it's almost impossible to believe there's anything good out there.  So changing requires a 'leap of faith'. Same as it takes a leap of faith that giving up compulsions makes you feel better - you only find out it's true  after you've done it. 

I think picking yourself up repeatedly after set-backs can be harder than setting out initially on the recovery journey. It takes courage and determination, but perseverance pays dividends. When you finally get on that upward recovery spiral each small success leads to a bigger success and it's all worth it. :) 

Go Lostie, go! :cheer: 

Yes I totally agree too snow,  it wasn’t until after I had read this that I realised all the feelings I’d felt were true and what I felt was right. I’m so glad I read it, it’s gave me a better understanding of why I’m so stuck at the moment and how I need to change this. Slowly over these last few months I’ve noticed the changes in me and how I’ve been drifting further into the negative side of things, making me lack confidence, the feelings of no self worth or self respect etc. 

I’m glad to say that even though I’ve lost all my confidence and self respect I’ve not slipped back on the issues I’ve already accomplished luckily, I think this is due to the fact that I keep persevering and trying to move forward regardless of my negativity. It’s been a difficult few months and really hard to pick myself back up at times,it’s took every ounce of determination, courage and perseverance, but no matter what I’ve continued fighting even if not to much avail. 

I need to challenge myself with a new goal to reach, something more achievable though and hopefully get myself back to where I was a few months ago, get back my positivity and rebuild my confidence again and then hopefully doing my cbt will become successful once again. 

I’m going to refrain from using the forum for a while until I’m feeling in a better place, because each time I come on here it saddens me even more because I’m no longer the positive confident person I used to be. 

Take care of yourself my friends and never give up, lostie x

 

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21 hours ago, taurean said:

The law of attraction is an interesting one and I like it. 

I am also a great advocate of positive thinking. 

Following your story lost I have seen you obliged to face a number of challenging situations and been dragged down by them, as you report now for others' information. 

Those were very tricky, unpleasant situations. But I think you are right - had you been able to apply a different mindset, then you wouldn't have been dragged down so much, and your therapy would not have been so affected. 

So yes, time for a change. 

What happens to us will be, it is going to happen. 

And we all face challenges on this journey through life. Myself a case in point with the challenges I have had over the last several years. 

As with response to OCD intrusions, it's how we respond to a setback that determines whether we cope or not. If we can see these in a more positive light, taking where possible some good things from the situation, then our mood and our emotional well-being will remain good. 

So yes - go lostie go :fool::cheer:

 

Some very good points and wise words Roy as always :yes:

Im refraining from using the forum for a while until I’m feeling in a better place. 

Take care of yourself my friend and may your success continue, Best wishes as always lostie :fool:

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I am feeling a bit "lost"  without lost :(

But it's always important for us as sufferers to get guidance on what might best suit us, then go away and seek to put it into practice. 

So she will take our friendship and support with her on this new journey, and hopefully not be too long away :)

 

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Hi Lost,

I am also pulling back from the forum for a while (for not dissimilar reasons to you) but I read this and just wanted to say I'm really sorry to hear your confidence has been knocked like this.  I know you'll get it back though as you are clearly an incredibly determined person and you know what you have to do now.  I'm sure in no time you will be back to the confident, happy person you were a few months ago.  Even if you choose not to post on here for a while, know that we're all cheering you on. :):)

GBG xx

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
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Wishing you all the best with everything and take care lovely Lost. See you here when you're ready. We are all cheering you on. 

Em xxx

Edited by Emsie
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Hi Lost,

I see I'm a little late with my reply but better late than never.

Don't treat failures as "total" failures. Treat it as an opportunity to do better the next time or to do something different. Be flexible. I can see that flexibility, with you stating about wiping the slate clean and setting more achievable goals. I am confident you can make it.

As always,

Best wishes and Take care,

- Mike

 

 

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On 2018-04-03 at 23:43, lostinme said:

Yes I totally agree too snow,  it wasn’t until after I had read this that I realised all the feelings I’d felt were true and what I felt was right. I’m so glad I read it, it’s gave me a better understanding of why I’m so stuck at the moment and how I need to change this. Slowly over these last few months I’ve noticed the changes in me and how I’ve been drifting further into the negative side of things, making me lack confidence, the feelings of no self worth or self respect etc. 

I’m glad to say that even though I’ve lost all my confidence and self respect I’ve not slipped back on the issues I’ve already accomplished luckily, I think this is due to the fact that I keep persevering and trying to move forward regardless of my negativity. It’s been a difficult few months and really hard to pick myself back up at times,it’s took every ounce of determination, courage and perseverance, but no matter what I’ve continued fighting even if not to much avail. 

I need to challenge myself with a new goal to reach, something more achievable though and hopefully get myself back to where I was a few months ago, get back my positivity and rebuild my confidence again and then hopefully doing my cbt will become successful once again. 

I’m going to refrain from using the forum for a while until I’m feeling in a better place, because each time I come on here it saddens me even more because I’m no longer the positive confident person I used to be. 

Take care of yourself my friends and never give up, lostie x

 

You should be aware of how you use the forum. It can get obsessive and it can even be that you only use it as reassuranceseeking, that is just bad. But you should not take the step as avoidance. Maybe ask yourself what you feel and what drives you when you write here? Do you get triggered?

I usually tries to help others because it motivates me to read about other people struggling. And sometimes do i ask for reassurance... When i am panicking

Edited by Isthisreality
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Bless you all my forum friends and thank you so much for your well wishes :)

Feeling very low at the moment, it’s a combination of things that have occurred over the last few months that have finally caught up with me and took its toll :( however you know me, I won’t give up, just need to turn myself around again and get my positive self back. Just need a little time out to concentrate on what is best for me at the moment, not a reflection on the forum at all :yes: but hopefully I won’t become a stranger and i won’t be gone to long. 

Take care forum friends, 

best wishes, lost :)

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5 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

You should be aware of how you use the forum. It can get obsessive and it can even be that you only use it as reassuranceseeking, that is just bad. But you should not take the step as avoidance. Maybe ask yourself what you feel and what drives you when you write here? Do you get triggered?

I usually tries to help others because it motivates me to read about other people struggling. And sometimes do i ask for reassurance... When i am panicking

Hi Isthisreality, 

I have not become obsessive with the forum, nor does it trigger me and I don’t use it for reassurance seeking, although I have been known to seek advice from time to time.  What drives me to write here is to hopefully offer help and advice, to encourage and cheer other sufferers on and to never give up hope. I like to share my own personal experience on how I’ve overcome issues of my own with the hope it will help others too. I think a little advice and encouragement goes a long way, not only to the person recieving, but also the person giving it too. 

Im probably a little different to others? But I only feel comfortable to offer help, advice and support when I’m feeling in a positive frame of mind myself, so at the moment a little time out is what I need, but it’s not avoidance either.

lost 

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Remember lost, life can throw us some very dodgy punches, but it's all about how we respond to them. 

They were always going to happen. Some people don't seem to find them as disturbing, and it's priceless knowledge to observe them and find out how they can respond so placidly. 

Go lostie :cheer::king:

 

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