Jump to content

Unbearable anxiety for new ocd topic


Recommended Posts

Good evening everyone,

It's been a long time since I logged in. I don't like coming in here despite being treated nicely because I try to stay away from anything OCD-related as much as possible. I'm rambling, ain't I?

Basically, my ocd went out of window again, striking back with my newest theme since yeaterday night: Rabies. Before this, I knew some stuff about it, like it was fatal or that bats are carriers. I deem myself someone not stupid enough to handle a bat with barehands, i'm fact, i've never held one before. 

Earlier, after researching all kind of informations regarding the disease and went through my memories to pick some rabies-alike experience (none), I opened my window and light a cigarette up. I pulled my hand out, as an attempt to prevent the smoke from going into my room. I was at first calmed, looking away from time to time to my phone, when something came across my mind, what if a bat actually landed on my hand and bit me whilst looking at my phone? Incapable of shaking off the idea, I put out my cigar and went straight to the kitchen. There I started imagening what I described above, but I reassure myself saying that that's something I've have known right away and clearly, like no doubts about it. However, I hold out to this since rabies are fatal. I examined my hand over and over to find two distant tiny redmarks. Not being a specialist, I can't determine if this is a bat bite indeed. For that reason, I panicked and believed I was bitten by one. I try to remain calm but this is a disease that would kill me, so I lose it. I want to get my parents to take me to the emergency room to get a shot against the disease, but I don't want to frighten them. Additionally, I don't want to look stupid and lame when I tell this, because they would surely send me back home.

I need help, opinions, whatever you have to say, I welcome it.

Take care

Pablo

Link to comment

Hi Pablo, sorry to hear you are having a nasty spike. I find it fascinating how quickly a fearful thought can become reality in our minds. I won’t give you reassurance about the bat, but I just wanted to empathise and hope that your anxiety level is already on it’s way down.

Link to comment

Researching bats and rabies was a compulsion. Going to the ER would be a compulsion. Doctors are not going to start you on shots for rabies based on you having two red marks on your hand.

This started with a thought. You made it worse by doing compulsions. Now your mind has run away.

Stop the compulsions. 

Link to comment

 'Incapable of shaking off the idea, I put out my cigar and went straight to the kitchen ..

There's your first mistake. In that spit second - from the thought to action - you gave credence to the irrational. No reassurance here ... despues de todo - al fin,  todo es possible, verdad? - but leave it alone, and move on. If the fear wants to come in, let it. Just move on. And remember, if its not rabid bats, it'll only be something else. 

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Franklin12 said:

Hi Pablo, sorry to hear you are having a nasty spike. I find it fascinating how quickly a fearful thought can become reality in our minds. I won’t give you reassurance about the bat, but I just wanted to empathise and hope that your anxiety level is already on it’s way down.

Thanks Franklin, actually i feel asleep for 2 hours and moved to my bed and my anxiety spiked again... Hope it ends soon enough!

Link to comment
2 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Researching bats and rabies was a compulsion. Going to the ER would be a compulsion. Doctors are not going to start you on shots for rabies based on you having two red marks on your hand.

This started with a thought. You made it worse by doing compulsions. Now your mind has run away.

Stop the compulsions. 

Thanks PolarBear, you are totally right, but as I never recieved amy kind of treatment and my fear went out of hand. I may go in a couple hours to tell my doctor about all of this, from the very beginning until the end

Link to comment
2 hours ago, paradoxer said:

 'Incapable of shaking off the idea, I put out my cigar and went straight to the kitchen ..

There's your first mistake. In that spit second - from the thought to action - you gave credence to the irrational. No reassurance here ... despues de todo - al fin,  todo es possible, verdad? - but leave it alone, and move on. If the fear wants to come in, let it. Just move on. And remember, if its not rabid bats, it'll only be something else. 

 

Thanks paradoxer, yeah I agree with you... But sadly it is easier said than done... I usually give in for a while then I fight it off on my own...

Link to comment
27 minutes ago, PAVLIS97 said:

Thanks paradoxer, yeah I agree with you... But sadly it is easier said than done... I usually give in for a while then I fight it off on my own...

Yes, it's certainly easy to offer advice. Though along with support that's what we're here for. When that giant rubber band swoops down and pulls us (that's the time to resist)  ... it's oftentimes easy to succumb. Always good to keep OCD's M.O. in mind though. 

Link to comment
54 minutes ago, paradoxer said:

Yes, it's certainly easy to offer advice. Though along with support that's what we're here for. When that giant rubber band swoops down and pulls us (that's the time to resist)  ... it's oftentimes easy to succumb. Always good to keep OCD's M.O. in mind though. 

I haven't slept a bit. I am gonna talk to my mum when she wakes up to tell her everything and head to the hospital, maybe I get transferred to psychology, who knows...

Link to comment

Okay so now I am struggling with another event. 1 hour ago I was showering and the heater went off. I went to my kitchen and turned it back on and when I turned I saw the window kinda open, so I closed it to maximum and looked behind me. Fearing that I might start obssesing over it, i hurried back to the bathroom, grabbed my phone and wrote down that I didn't see or feel anything. Then I started imagining stuff but I try to remain calm like if a bat came into the kitchen it would probably be trapped. I checked my kitchen but there was nothing at all. I figure that if a bat bit me, I've have known it straightaway and I wouldn't be posting in here or I would have known where it was from rhe bery beginning. Then I fear being in denial or something like that, well I'll move on from this eventually.

Link to comment

Closing the window, writing details in your phone, checking the kitchen out and the inevitable ruminating you did were all compulsions. You must recognize that and do your best not to do them in the future.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...