Obsessive thoughts about death

[alisando123]

Hi everyone... 

Just wondering if anyone else has had this problem with regards to OCD. I had a quick Google on another forum and they seemed to associate it with OCD which I didn't realise it maybe could be?

For the last couple of weeks I've suddenly been having obsessive thoughts about death. Not the process of dying, but what will happen to me once I've gone. Ive always worried about getting older but not so much dying. These thoughts are now occupying my day to day life... To the point of where I can't seem to shift them or get them to go away. So possibly rumination ?? I'm also worried about loved ones dying, and spend time counting down the amount of years they and I potentially have left.

I've had a few relatives die semi recently, but this happened over a year ago (the most recent) these were the first times I've had someone close to me die. I don't know if that's what has triggered me... It's never really bothered me overly before. 

The main worry I have is that I will be sort of aware that I'm dead and will be floating around in some netherspace by myself forever without my loved ones ajd I'll never see them again. I feel like I'm catastrophising. To try and fight these thoughts, I spend time asking for reassurance and seeking reassurance online... I spend so much time looking up stories from people who've come back to life, reading about people's theories etc alongside ruminating and coming up with theories myself. It does ease my anxiety temporarily. 

It's actually really starting to get in the way of my enjoyment and functioning. It's making my mood very low. One of the fears I have though is not enjoying my life while I'm here... Which is kind of ironic as the fear of death is stopping me from doing that. I literally think about getting older and can't bare it. I'm only 26 so what am I going to be like in 10-20 years time. Life seems to go so fast I feel like I'll be there before I know it and death will be coming to get me.

I'm not directly asking whether this is OCD. But more whether people have experience this before ?? It seems like the compulsions could be there ... So I'm wondering if by working on identifying those and stopping them... It might ease the fear back to a more rational level. 

I'm in therapy at the moment but for social anxiety and my therapist said it really we have one treatment goal so the ocd has had to take a seat on the back burner in there.

Just hoping someone can offer some advice or support! 

Thanks.

[bruces]

I feel the same way 

[Skullpops]

Hi Alisando,

Yes this is something I've experienced too. 

I think it's safe to say everyone has pondered death at some point or another and there's a natural human curiosity surrounding death. 

This particular theme began bothering me when I was suicical and in hospital...I felt I 'had' to die just in case I'd did something wrong (I realise now I was desperately unwell) 

I'm still not fully recovered but doing much better than I was...but I still get these intrusions about death...I worry about dying but not really being dead and being buried alive...I worry a lot about what death "feels" like...I often get vivid images of my own funeral and my grave.

Really feel for you as it's so distressing. Great to hear you're in therapy however it's a pity your therapist doesn't feel your OCD can/should be tackled at the moment. Any medication? 

[Angst]

I suppose obsession is a preoccupation with something. In the case of OCD the preoccupation is negative and anxiety promoting.

You also seem to have compulsions such as seeking reassurance and going to forums and searching for information. Because in your case with this theme it simply fuels the anxiety. 

My mother had a similar fear to Skullpops about being buried alive. It has been a common theme in literature and some films.

I think the advice is to switch you attention away from thoughtsof death and what might happen and not dwell on them. Part of the dwelling consists of compulsions. Stop the compulsions.

 

[alisando123]

27 minutes ago, Skullpops said:

Hi Alisando,

Yes this is something I've experienced too. 

I think it's safe to say everyone has pondered death at some point or another and there's a natural human curiosity surrounding death. 

This particular theme began bothering me when I was suicical and in hospital...I felt I 'had' to die just in case I'd did something wrong (I realise now I was desperately unwell) 

I'm still not fully recovered but doing much better than I was...but I still get these intrusions about death...I worry about dying but not really being dead and being buried alive...I worry a lot about what death "feels" like...I often get vivid images of my own funeral and my grave.

Really feel for you as it's so distressing. Great to hear you're in therapy however it's a pity your therapist doesn't feel your OCD can/should be tackled at the moment. Any medication? 

I'm glad you're feeling a little better! I'm just wondering if the "obsessive" thoughts about it could be related to the ocd, particularly the way I'm responding to them at the moment. In a way I hope they are as I want it to be something that's treatable and not something I'll worry about forever now. 

Before I'd have moments where I thought about it, but then they would pass quite quickly. Now it's constantly in the back of my mind... 

Yeah. CBT is hard to come by as it is and we don't have time to treat everything unfortunately (I was on the waiting list for a year and a half!) I am prescribed citalopram but tried to come off it recently. I've just got another batch though so thinking of starting again!

 

[alisando123]

25 minutes ago, Angst said:

I suppose obsession is a preoccupation with something. In the case of OCD the preoccupation is negative and anxiety promoting.

You also seem to have compulsions such as seeking reassurance and going to forums and searching for information. Because in your case with this theme it simply fuels the anxiety. 

My mother had a similar fear to Skullpops about being buried alive. It has been a common theme in literature and some films.

I think the advice is to switch you attention away from thoughtsof death and what might happen and not dwell on them. Part of the dwelling consists of compulsions. Stop the compulsions.

 

Yeah I agree. I've never heard of it as a theme of OCD really, but kind of makes sense in how I seem to react to the thoughts by seeking reassurance etc. I just wondered if others had come across it. I'm banning myself from googling about it this evening and will see if I feel any better!