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Attempted suicide few days ago.....


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Just now, hedvig said:

I know you feel that way. But in order to get better, you have to ignore that feeling. You have to do what feels wrong to you, and you have to fake it till you make it. 

There are things that cross the line and partner deserves to know...... she is also a human being .... 

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6 minutes ago, FantasyNerd98 said:

I want to leave this alone..... but i feel like a partner deserves to know things like that.... i fee llike it would be disrespect towards her if i didnt told her

Your OCD says that, the truth is that you are wasting your own time and their time too. It may sound harsh but it is not because you want to tell her everything, it is because you want relief and get reassurance and your OCD is justifying it. But most importantly - you are making it worse! You will not find the relief in all this answering, it will probably stop at some point and swith theme but you could also have it for the rest of your life. Why not try something new?

But seriously, you are only talking with yourself at this point. I think we all can relate to being in that place. Why not just let it be for a while? 

Edited by Isthisreality
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2 minutes ago, Isthisreality said:

Your OCD says that, the truth is that you are wasting your own time and their time too. It may sound harsh but it is not because you want to tell her everything, it is because you want relief and get reassurance and your OCD is justifying it. But most importantly - you are making it worse! You will not find the relief in all this answering, it will probably stop at some point and swith theme but you could also have it for the rest of your life. Why not try something new?

But seriously, you are ONLY talking with yourself at this point. I think we all can relate to being in that place. Why not just let it be for a while? 

I been talking about this for the past 3 months ... i tried letting it be..... but its impossible....

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Just now, FantasyNerd98 said:

There are things that cross the line and partner deserves to know...... she is also a human being .... 

You keep repeating yourself. I know why, because OCD has you in its grip. I know you don’t want to. But please, try to take that leap of faith and trust that you can recover from this. You won’t always feel like this if you decide to take on some advice on how to turn things around. 

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Just now, hedvig said:

You keep repeating yourself. I know why, because OCD has you in its grip. I know you don’t want to. But please, try to take that leap of faith and trust that you can recover from this. You won’t always feel like this if you decide to take on some advice on how to turn things around. 

i tried not confessing before and it ended bad.....

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4 minutes ago, FantasyNerd98 said:

I been talking about this for the past 3 months ... i tried letting it be..... but its impossible....

And it will not get easier, if you are not doing differently. Stop engaging in all this= doing differently. But doing it in small steps, you don't need to stop it all together but you need to start doing differently. 

You are not doing your close ones a favour by "telling them everything". You are only wasting their times and i also think that they understand what is going on here. Your OCD wants to confess but they would like you to stop this. Your OCD is the problem here.

Edited by Isthisreality
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Just now, Isthisreality said:

And it will not get easier, if you are not doing differently. Stop engaging in all this= doing differently. 

You are not doing your close ones a favour by "telling them everything". You are only wasting their times and i also think that they understand what is going on here. Your OCD wants to confess but they would like you to stop this. Your OCD is the problem here.

yes... the few friends that know about my ocd sometimes refuse to let me confess to them....

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Then you really have to apply for therapy. I know it can be scary to visit a doctor but you don’t have to go into details about your thoughts if that makes you uncomfortable. Tell them you have thoughts that make you extremely anxious that you can’t let go of. 

I have to go to bed now so I won’t answer straight away if you write anything back. Wanted to let you know that in case you get worried and wonder why I don’t reply. I really, really hope you will start feeling better soon and I’m sure therapy and possibly medicine would help tremendously. My very best wishes to you! 

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14 minutes ago, FantasyNerd98 said:

yes... the few friends that know about my ocd sometimes refuse to let me confess to them....

Thank them for that and tell them to never ever let you confess or giving you reassurance. But this can only do so much, and they can only do their best. YOU need to start acting differently. Go to the doctor as soon as possible so you can get into therapy. 

Stop listen to all this nonsense from your OCD that you are doing your close ones a favour, you are not. They know what is going on and don't want you to be fooled by yourself. That is what you need to do to really do yourself and your close ones a favour. 

I will not ask you how long you think this can go on, 3 months and no solution yet by being in your own head. But you could ask yourself if you really think that you will find a """solution""" to this by analyzing and ruminate about this. 

Edited by Isthisreality
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7 minutes ago, hedvig said:

Then you really have to apply for therapy. I know it can be scary to visit a doctor but you don’t have to go into details about your thoughts if that makes you uncomfortable. Tell them you have thoughts that make you extremely anxious that you can’t let go of. 

I have to go to bed now so I won’t answer straight away if you write anything back. Wanted to let you know that in case you get worried and wonder why I don’t reply. I really, really hope you will start feeling better soon and I’m sure therapy and possibly medicine would help tremendously. My very best wishes to you! 

Thank you for kind words (: im going to sleep too....

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I didnt want to post on here anymore but you my brother are in a place you can get out from

We need need to broaden our horizon on what ocd actually is without putting it under the microscope. 

It is an obsession, whatever that maybe and it is cumpolsions, whatever they maybe to releave our anxiety 

That is it, thats not easy but its simple truth of it.

I could talk and talk as an intelligent man about the sexual mind and bioligy and the society we live in but it would make no difference when our minds are searching for answers. 

There is no awnser,atall, none, nothing, we will search and search, its not there, it never will be,, in this life there are things we dont get, we are on a big floating ball and came from our dads testicles , that in itself is mind blowing enough. 

What we slowly have to understand is we have a choice, as much as we think we dont, to choose wether we continue our torture or very patiently choose to overcome, like a stonemason chipping away untill we see the full picture

The thoughts are relentless, try and be still, pause an say, Your THOUGHTs, fantasies, whatever they maybe,it doesnt matter, focus on that  you can overtime overcome them by  putting focus on your true values, it takes time and skill, make that your work

Edited by battlethrough
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I just saw new stories about women that found out their husbands had child porn.... they were all devastated and reported their husbands to police and divorced them....

 

I know i havent watched child porn.... but i feel like by masturbating to that news report i mentioned earlier that im like them......... I feel like i did the same thing... only that it wasnt illegal...

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On 9. 5. 2018 at 01:04, battlethrough said:

I didnt want to post on here anymore but you my brother are in a place you can get out from

We need need to broaden our horizon on what ocd actually is without putting it under the microscope. 

It is an obsession, whatever that maybe and it is cumpolsions, whatever they maybe to releave our anxiety 

That is it, thats not easy but its simple truth of it.

I could talk and talk as an intelligent man about the sexual mind and bioligy and the society we live in but it would make no difference when our minds are searching for answers. 

There is no awnser,atall, none, nothing, we will search and search, its not there, it never will be,, in this life there are things we dont get, we are on a big floating ball and came from our dads testicles , that in itself is mind blowing enough. 

What we slowly have to understand is we have a choice, as much as we think we dont, to choose wether we continue our torture or very patiently choose to overcome, like a stonemason chipping away untill we see the full picture

The thoughts are relentless, try and be still, pause an say, Your THOUGHTs, fantasies, whatever they maybe,it doesnt matter, focus on that  you can overtime overcome them by  putting focus on your true values, it takes time and skill, make that your work

My fantasies are not wrong.... i like to be beaten up by a woman.... thats a normal BDSM thing.....  The fact that i masturbated to every video of woman beating somebody up that i could find was sick and wrong..... and unfortunately one of those videos i saw was of a woman attacking a child.....

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