Insecurities and OCD

[Zazoo]

So I've been doing CBT for awhile now and have even started working again (somewhat) which I'm proud of but it feels like my OCD and existing insecurities are ganging up on me now and its exhausting at times.  I've almost fled work a couple of times because its gotten so bad but in the end have survived the day.  Its hard to be personable when your mind is telling you that your secretly a bad person with evil thoughts and what if they knew, what.if.they.knew! sigh..

[Hal]

The really important thing is, you nearly fled a couple of times....but you had the strength and willpower not to Zazoo. I don't think anyone w/o the disorder knows just how tough it can be doing the everyday normal stuff while still having to work hard each day at overcoming the disorder, hats off to you for facing those challenges.

[Rox]

I’m on my second round of CBT and I’ve recently gone back to work and also feel like running away every time I’m there, mind you I feel like running away from home too. I suppose we have to keep going and somehow find a way to not let this completely destroy us x 

[Oliverh28]

Every single day I have this at work. Towards the end of the day I get butterflies in my stomach because im so excited to leave. I do not know why my anxiety is so much worse at work but it definitely triggers anxiety and the darker intrusive thoughts.

I get through everyday but it is becoming more and more difficult recently (going through a bad patch recently) as I feel like my brain is going to implode.

I used to run away from work when I felt like this but stopped because I realised that the anxiety of being insecure financially is personally my BIGGEST trigger for OCD. If you stick with something you'll feel proud of yourself and I KNOW that this will decrease the amount of intrusive thoughts you experience as you are in a better mind set.

 

I can have the same thought on different days, some days it will make me feel suicidal and some days it won't even bother me.. it's all about being in the right mental state to deal with these thoughts. I promise you that by pushing yourself to stick at something, in the end it will help your general state of mind and in turn help reduce anxiety.