gingerbreadgirl Posted June 29, 2018 Author Share Posted June 29, 2018 Hey OCDHavenobrain, how are you doing? Hope you're feeling a little better about things today x Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 (edited) I am i am. It tried to drag me in to it yesterday. First i read the news about a man who drove into a cyclist intentional, then late in the day did i search on google and read something about a company which someone who is relative to the persons in the car worked. I am also very very paranoid about being hit again but i do my things. And yes just before i meet the psychologist did a old obsession come into my mind. I am not panicking about anything but i am sure i will fall down if i start again. I got some papers from the psychologist that i need to fill up. And i will meet him again in 10 days. I forgot, i have some obsessions which really don't make me anxisou, which i am involving in more now when those thoughts about events goes away for a while. Counting things is a big thing for me. I do it because it gives me control. But it never gives me that panick, atleast not nowdays, it did 10 years ago. Thanks for asking, i am doing better. I am actually trying to figure out all of my obsessions so it is not obsessive of me to write them here. Atleast not totally. hehe, semiobsessive. . But no it is because i want to know which obsessions i have. Edited June 29, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
bobfish Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 Hi everyone, I've just been reading through this thread and it's wonderful to see everyone supporting each other and congratulating each other on our successes. Thanks for making such a positive thread! If it's alright, I just wanted to butt in and say that, in part thanks to all the advice I've read and received on this forum, my OCD has improved significantly in the past few months. Nowadays, although I'm by no means 'cured', I find it a lot easier to deal with situations where I feel something is contaminated. The worst thing that's happened to me so far this week was probably when yesterday I had to empty an overflowing toilet bin that no-one else in my house had bothered to sort out. Unfortunately, because it was so full (and also I'm very clumsy), I managed to accidentally spill a load of used toilet paper on the toilet floor. After clearing up the mess, I had to go to work straightaway, which meant I couldn't immediately carry out my urge to give the floor a wipe - and, in fact, to make matters worse, I'm pretty sure at some point I stepped on the part of the floor where the toilet paper had landed. Anyway, I got back in the evening and did end up wiping the toilet floor (don't know if that's a compulsion or a sensible thing to do, to be honest), but then I started worrying that other people in the house and I had transferred the germs/contamination to the floor in other rooms. I wanted to wipe down the entire floor right away, but felt that maybe that would be a compulsion as I hadn't planned to do any wiping or mopping until the weekend. It's now Friday evening, and I've so far been able to resist the compulsion (?), although I have been a bit anxious, as I dropped my work trousers on the floor today and had to wear the 'contaminated' trousers on the bus and at work. I don't particularly expect anyone at work or anyone who sits in the same bus seat as me to get sick, but I suppose it's the uncertainty of it all, especially with the bus seat, that makes me quite worried. But so far I've been able to control the worrying, which would have been near impossible a month ago. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 I was out cycling today and this car pass me very close. 0.5 meter or something, then when he had driven past me did he drive as close to the right side as possible. And i saw beerbottle when i had cycled 300 meters. So i guess he could be drunk. And it made me paranoid the rest of the ride. Very paranoid. I am going to start riding in the morning, to minimize the risk. Not sure if i should contact the police, but i really need to buy those cameras which you can have on the bike. Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 Hi guys, Just thought I'd bump this thread and see what everyone's been doing today to challenge OCD! I did some CBT this morning. Today I encountered what seemed like a huge amount of triggers but tried hard not to get caught up in ruminating/analysing and for the most part resisted, and did a few exposures along the way. Not that long ago I would have tie myself in absolute knots with the very same triggers and would be feeling horrendous right now. I like to write it down when good stuff happens cos it's easy to forget how far you've come. Anyone else? x Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 (edited) I am doing my best, i will have to read and study the best i can for a couple of weeks. I just have a question for you guys. Concentration and irritation and restlessness do you experience those things? I do. When i am trying to read something and i am bombarded by 10002034 thoughts and then i get angry that i can't concentrate and i get more thoughts and then i get even more angry that i can't read and learn perfectly. And then i get irritated, i mean IRRITATED. I am actually thinking about ADHD, but i will have to recover before i can judge if i have ADHD, i remember that i have always been kinda "active", but i didn't have problems with school but that could be because i didn't find it that hard. Hope you are doing great and i also hope that more people here can recover so we can get happy stories on the forum. Just because it is an OCD-forum doesn't mean it need to be all about compulsions Edited July 10, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
taurean Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 I think anyone would suffer the symptoms you describe when the thoughts keep banging away in mental chatter. When I suffered from this I got very tired very quickly because of all the mental and physical energy used up and the distress caused. I found mindfulness really helpful going forward. When we are beset with worries obsessions and compulsions - including constant repetitive intrusive thoughts - my mindfulness - based CBT for OCD therapist explained that we remain locked in using the active "doing" part of the brain, the part which seeks answers and won't switch off when it doesn't get them - hence we go round and round in a stuck thinking loop. By learning how to throw a metaphorical "switch", and shift our focus into the benign, just "being" part of the brain, where we can just be in the present, in the moment, we can break free of all that distress. Mindfulness is just focusing in the present in the moment. It takes patience and persistence to learn how to do this - but it worked for me alongside the core therapy of CBT, and bringing love and kindness and positivity into my thinking focus too. Link to comment
bruces Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 Mental problems are hugely tiring I find Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 10, 2018 Author Share Posted July 10, 2018 1 hour ago, bruces said: Mental problems are hugely tiring I find In the spirit of the thread, what have you done today to challenge your OCD Bruce? Link to comment
Publius Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 I went to bed early yesterday to get a few extra hours sleep. Woke up this morning feeling fairly clear headed. The day before I was constantly feeling the pull to ruminate. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 Have been reading all day but i get the thoughts all the time, need to refocus all the time and i also got increasingly obsessed about the accident which happened for a month ago, got an email from the insurancecompany and i started to google. About whiplash, i mean i have got symptoms which are declared there, tinnitus (increased), feelings in my fingers on the left side and i also feel my neck more after i have done strenous exercises, i am going to meet my psychotherapist on thursday. Til that i need to stop googling!! This will not lead to anything good!! Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 (edited) So i refused to do it, i saw it as an exposure. But today have been one of those sad days, the thing is that just because i concentrate on something doesn't mean the OCD wants its fix, so ye i can see why i got that feeling of panic, not doing compulsions is like withdrawal.. Just accept accept not gooling, are not allowed to google. I also ruminated a little bit today about time lost to OCD and such, what if i had done differently before, i see it as a manifestation of the anxiety, i have read about how Polarbear said we are allowed to grieve the lost time so then did my head tell me that it is oooook to think about this, which it is in a way but it dependce of the motive. Tricky tricky! Can't be fooled! Hope we can get more stories here, guys you need to see the forum as an opportunity to change, break the link between OCD-forum and compulsions! Edited July 10, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
Ironing Maiden Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 i downloaded the Break Free from OCD book onto my kindle the other day (as recommended by you lovely folk on here!). Been sat outside in the garden having a wee read with a brew, have read through quite a bit already, it's very interesting how it explains and goes into detail Plus today i tried to minimise the amount of checking i usually do when i leave the house, few things like taps/lights are getting ok-ish...but those pesky doors have still got a long way to go! Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 I think i will get that book. My psychologist advice me to get one book to start doing selfhelp as fast as possible, but this book seems to be good too. Link to comment
Ironing Maiden Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 41 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said: I think i will get that book. My psychologist advice me to get one book to start doing selfhelp as fast as possible, but this book seems to be good too. i like the way it is written in plain everyday language and not in confusing medical jargon Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Ironing Maiden said: i downloaded the Break Free from OCD book onto my kindle the other day (as recommended by you lovely folk on here!). Been sat outside in the garden having a wee read with a brew, have read through quite a bit already, it's very interesting how it explains and goes into detail Plus today i tried to minimise the amount of checking i usually do when i leave the house, few things like taps/lights are getting ok-ish...but those pesky doors have still got a long way to go! this is great well done you! Break free is a great book Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 (edited) I was resisting yesterday and i am resisting today. I am somewhat stressed or i could be if i choose because i need to finish some things this month, but i also need to cycle today, so i get this all or nothing thinking and it creates stress and it often lead to breakdown so i will try to face this without the all or nothing thinking. I am also done with writing down all the obsessions i have had. And i am realizing that the notion that we need to stop taking the thoughts as serious is really important, i think i have overlooked that one. I have been to focused on exposure, but the thoughts, the thoughs itself shouldn't been taken serious! I also heard something on the radio "cycling and crime" a program they are sending this week. I don't think i need to explain further... Now i am going to fix my bike than i am going to read and write this paper. Guys the most important thing is to identify when you are anxious and then just let it do its thing, i think this is where we fail. Do not involve in all those coping-mechanisms we all have going, i know you too have them. I know how bad anxiety feels but that is not a reason to involve, but it is the reason to why we all are here today. Edited July 13, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
Ironing Maiden Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 On 11/07/2018 at 22:30, gingerbreadgirl said: this is great well done you! Break free is a great book Thank you! taking baby steps but will get there x Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) I have done fine, i mean i haven't left my house, because i have been working on this paper the whole day. 10 hours, wow, i thought it would be quick, turns out i have a lot to catch up on when it comes to some things, mainly how to use references. I got some thoughts that i was DESTROYED, funny thing is that it was one which haven't been there in a while. But yea destroyed, i am so destroyed, maybe even the word destroyed is destroyed, who knows? Now i am going for a shower. Edited July 14, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
kaheath80 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I am 40 mins down on my weekly exercise quota. I’ve been out all day and was going to exercise when I got home and it’s so damn hot. I’m also on my period so not feeling great. My brain wants me to exercise but think I’m going to resist Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I am going to watch the match then cleaning and i need to keep on reading and working. I feel overall motivated to turn some things around, i don't really know why. Feeling dizzy and strange, but that is probably because i decreased my SSRI more than i knew. I am doing a solution which i take everyday. But this time i took more water than usually so it is weaker. One funny thing that i still don't understand is why i am able to sleep much less and still feel much better than before. If i didn't get 9hours before i feelt horrendous, sweaty and icky. I have thought a lot about the tapering of the SSRI, i do realize that it could be that i obsess about it but i do get symptoms from it. In either case do i hope that you can start doing differently, we won't get anywhere by doing like we have done for so long. And i also think that we have lost sight, forgotten how it is without having thoughts in our heads all the time. Could it be that we could benefit from getting a temporarily relief? How could we give that? When i took benzo i feelt relief, and that is a pause from thought, but it always comes with feelings, and it feels as strong as before afterwards. So maybe it isn't a solution. I just think that many of us have lost sight. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Falled back yesterday evening in boredom.. Crazy.. I have a hard time dealing with the middleground, when you are not in despair or happy. So i started googling about the psychiatrist and i found other people who are disatisfied with him. My mind is also hoovering around many of my recent thoughts, it is pretty CRAZY how it tries to get you in. I will have to pick this up. Someone wrote here today that one have to understand the work it takes to change, how we see on things (thoughts) and that is true, i am both curious and scared by that notion, where do you end up when you are not obsessing, what if everything is one big obsession. Atleast if I am. Take care everybody and try to do something with your day if you find it hard, and if you are in a state of relaxation, then try to stay there. Link to comment
taurean Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 31 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said: where do you end up when you are not obsessing, what if everything is one big obsession. Atleast if I am. You end up in a standard place, free of OCD. But of course still vulnerable to all life's other worries thinking distortions and bugbears. But if they trouble us, as they used to do me, there are psychological methods to beat them too. Starting to think everything is just an obsession would be OCD magical thinking - so do nip that one in the bud Link to comment
Ironing Maiden Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Had a good few days recently then Saturday had a night out having a few drinks, which meant Sunday was spent feeling hungover/pretty damn rough which always seems to send my checking ocd/anxiety into overdrive So back to working on exposure therapy and building on it...and sticking with good old tea from now on!!! Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) On 16/07/2018 at 15:53, taurean said: You end up in a standard place, free of OCD. But of course still vulnerable to all life's other worries thinking distortions and bugbears. But if they trouble us, as they used to do me, there are psychological methods to beat them too. Starting to think everything is just an obsession would be OCD magical thinking - so do nip that one in the bud Thank you. Sometimes i analyzing how i feelt "before" OCD, i do have childhood-memories which i found enjoyful, and sometimes i think that this was how it was overall "before OCD", but i don't think that is the case, because everybody have happy memories and it seems like i showed signs of it early. We are talking 4-5 years old. I have some totally new obsessions comming in, it's about a friend, an acne-scar and if it was abusive. I will just write this because it won't benefit me if i write it out. I think i might have pinpoint my fear and it might sound narcissistic but it is probably that i don't want to have been abused/destroyed. I am sorry but i see how this can be totally triggering beyond imagination because it is usually the other way around and i also have one situation where i think i been the abuser. I would like to end with saying that it is 100% the feelings which are the problem for us, i can read about someone who have the exact same fear (obviously not the same event) and i can see logical how it all falls into place. But then there are feelings, we all have it and it is the reason we are here. We have feelings and we act. Edited July 17, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
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