What have you done today to challenge your OCD?

[gingerbreadgirl]

I'm doing OK generally thanks Lost.  I have been doing lots of exposure and cut back on the ruminating.  Today has been a bit of a blip but generally things are going in the right direction.  I've written a list of exposure ideas which I keep adding to and doing as many as I can each day.  My brain is tossing out all kinds of excuses as to why I shouldn't do them - "now is not a good time/it's reckless/irresponsible/I'm not ready" bla bla bla.  But I've tried to ignore it and push through, for the most part.  Rome wasn't built in a day etc!

Edited May 24, 2018 by gingerbreadgirl

[lostinme]

21 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I'm doing OK generally thanks Lost.  I have been doing lots of exposure and cut back on the ruminating.  Today has been a bit of a blip but generally things are going in the right direction.  I've written a list of exposure ideas which I keep adding to and doing as many as I can each day.  My brain is tossing out all kinds of excuses as to why I shouldn't do them - "now is not a good time/it's reckless/irresponsible/I'm not ready" bla bla bla.  But I've tried to ignore it and push through, for the most part.  Rome wasn't built in a day etc!

That’s great gbg! I’m so pleased for you  We have to have blips along the way, it’s all part of the learning process, that’s what eventually turns them into successes  

I’m the same, I think I’ve probably used every excuse in the book to why it’s not a good time to do it, but eventually I decide to stop hiding behind excuses and face upto it  easier said than done at times though  but as long as we keep pushing through that’s the main thing and with each step we take we are that one step closer to where we want to be. 

I totally agree! Rome wasn’t built in a day. I don’t try to over do things to quickly anymore, I take each day as it comes, one day at a time, good day, bad day. Before I use to spend to much time thinking and dreading what I expected myself to be able to achieve tomorrow instead of just getting on with today, this had an adverse effect making each day a bad day. Now I take things steadily and just think about what I’m doing today steady wins the race 

 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

It's really good ginger. I think you have come a long way compared where you were the start of the year. It's like you took a jump.

If i have to pinpoint it I would say that the biggest change is your attitude towards it. Where you now are refusing to let the OCD find excuses. 

Edited May 24, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[gingerbreadgirl]

8 hours ago, lostinme said:

That’s great gbg! I’m so pleased for you  We have to have blips along the way, it’s all part of the learning process, that’s what eventually turns them into successes  

I’m the same, I think I’ve probably used every excuse in the book to why it’s not a good time to do it, but eventually I decide to stop hiding behind excuses and face upto it  easier said than done at times though  but as long as we keep pushing through that’s the main thing and with each step we take we are that one step closer to where we want to be. 

I totally agree! Rome wasn’t built in a day. I don’t try to over do things to quickly anymore, I take each day as it comes, one day at a time, good day, bad day. Before I use to spend to much time thinking and dreading what I expected myself to be able to achieve tomorrow instead of just getting on with today, this had an adverse effect making each day a bad day. Now I take things steadily and just think about what I’m doing today steady wins the race 

 

You have done amazingly well.  Your progress is so inspriing and motivating to me xx

[taurean]

Getting focused purely in today is great lost. 

For "today is the future I worried about yesterday",  which little cliché shows the futility of worry. 

It took me a long time - and read and re-read - of my book on how to stop worrying, but eventually I made it. 

Now I don't look back. I plan for, but don't worry about the future. And each day, living in the present, in the moment is purely dealt with on that basis. 

And it doesn't half stop a lot of unhelpful things from trying to ruin my day. 

 

[gingerbreadgirl]

8 minutes ago, taurean said:

 book on how to stop worrying

 

is this the Dale Cernegie one? If so it is an amazing book, so relevant and full of insight even today.  Obviously not for OCD but for general worry it is so good.  In fact I feel a re-read coming on!

[taurean]

2 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

is this the Dale Cernegie one? If so it is an amazing book, so relevant and full of insight even today.  Obviously not for OCD but for general worry it is so good.  In fact I feel a re-read coming on!

Yes. The original and best "How to stop worrying and start living",  written in the 1950s but still as brilliant today. 

Another thing that is great is to reach out - and receive - the support (but not reassurance from)  others. 

Here has been so helpful to me while my wife has been so ill - as too every single one with whom I have become acquainted in Northampton. 

Today my wife wants to go to the discount store which is a short drive away - but a vast leap whilst she has been so ill. 

And I am hopeful, but no more, that she might agree to us then having lunch in our village pub - where all the staff have been so helpful and supportive to me, and are looking forward to meeting her. 

But that may not happen today. Because progress, be it with physical or mental problems - or both as in my wife's case - needs to be in small steps. And those small steps just might turn into giant leaps. 

[lostinme]

2 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

You have done amazingly well.  Your progress is so inspriing and motivating to me xx

Thank you gbg, that means a lot  I try my best and that’s all we can do, if it’s a bad day today, we can just try again tomorrow  I use to feel I was a failure when I didn’t achieve what I wanted to and this would have a negative effect for the next day coming up. Now I’ve  started to accept the bad day and leave it be, tomorrow’s a new day 

[lostinme]

1 hour ago, taurean said:

Yes. The original and best "How to stop worrying and start living",  written in the 1950s but still as brilliant today. 

Another thing that is great is to reach out - and receive - the support (but not reassurance from)  others. 

Here has been so helpful to me while my wife has been so ill - as too every single one with whom I have become acquainted in Northampton. 

Today my wife wants to go to the discount store which is a short drive away - but a vast leap whilst she has been so ill. 

And I am hopeful, but no more, that she might agree to us then having lunch in our village pub - where all the staff have been so helpful and supportive to me, and are looking forward to meeting her. 

But that may not happen today. Because progress, be it with physical or mental problems - or both as in my wife's case - needs to be in small steps. And those small steps just might turn into giant leaps. 

It’s great that she is ready and wanting to go out Roy, every small step is in the right direction  if she is not feeling upto the pub lunch today hopefully she will be soon 

[lostinme]

I totally agree Roy  I’ve spent to much time worrying what I’ve not managed to achieve today and then fretting about what I need to do again tomorrow  this then had a negative impact on both days and every consecutive day after. Learning to accept each day good and bad as been a huge milestone for me, this is what kept me stuck. Learning to celebrate from my successes no matter how small and accepting and learning from the bad days and what I could have changed?  instead of feeling like a complete failure( this was so unhelpful). 

Hope you and Julie have a nice day 

[taurean]

she took her pills half an hour ago so shortly we can have breakfast together. And being able to do that now is progress

[gingerbreadgirl]

11 hours ago, lostinme said:

 Learning to accept each day good and bad as been a huge milestone for me, this is what kept me stuck. Learning to celebrate from my successes no matter how small and accepting and learning from the bad days and what I could have changed?  instead of feeling like a complete failure( this was so unhelpful).

This is such a great attitude to have Lost.  Sounds like you are really coming on in leaps and bounds

[gingerbreadgirl]

11 hours ago, taurean said:

she took her pills half an hour ago so shortly we can have breakfast together. And being able to do that now is progress

really glad to hear Julie is making so much progress

[taurean]

14 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

really glad to hear Julie is making so much progress

She is tons better and actually looking well. 

But still some way to go. She is better off lying down for Breakfast, sometimes I join her sitting by the bed and we plan the day - lovely

 

Edited May 25, 2018 by taurean

[gingerbreadgirl]

I have been bad at challenging it today and a trigger has sent me masively down the rabbit hole of anxiety, now feeling terrible - sick, no appetite, like everything is too bright and loud, the works.  We have a family member over and I just can't find the ability act "normal" which normally I can do quite well when anxious.

So I guess now is the time to pick myself up and try again.

So so so tired though, tired of having to do this

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

What have i done, well i got massively irritated. MASSIVELY so now i going to clean my bike and go out and ride. I have problems with getting started with things, instead i am sitting at the computer and ruminate about what i should do. I also have some sites which i check, in a urge to make sure what i should do. Totally hopeless and compulsive. 

I hope you are doing fine, if not, do your best.

[gingerbreadgirl]

OK getting back on the horse today after a rubbish day yesterday.  Done some big exposures this morning.  After doing exposure I always feel a weird combination of anxiety but also hope/taking back control.  I am also trying the technique of "ruminating later".  This works really well for me.  The idea of never sorting something out is overwhelming, but I can deal with "sorting it out later" and then when later comes, I put it off a bit longer, and so on. 

I am trying to keep busy and occupied, even if what I'm doing is a bit pointless (e.g. playing games etc), just anything which keeps by brain occupied is good.  I'm treating my brain a bit like a hyperactive toddler who needs constant amusement or he'll just go off and shove his hand in the fireplace or something

I am trying to live exactly as I did before this relapse, no matter how uncomfortable or irresponsible it makes me feel.  (That was thanks to a tip from @Avo).  The theory is if I behave as I did before then, eventually I will start to feel as I did then. 

I am also letting myself off the hook as much as possible and practising self-compassion, which I have never been very good at.  I am saying to myself "I know this is difficult right now and that's OK, take it one step at a time" instead of the kind of cruel and bullying stuff I used to dish out on a regular basis!

Edited May 28, 2018 by gingerbreadgirl

[Andrewc]

I've tried blowing my nose less today, and be comfortable with any itch I feel inside my nostrils. acceptance

[gingerbreadgirl]

16 minutes ago, Andrewc said:

I've tried blowing my nose less today, and be comfortable with any itch I feel inside my nostrils. acceptance

This is great well done Andrew

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

I don't know what i am doing or i am, a big red light is that i am not anxious, i am not feeling depressed or sad i have motivation but i suspect that i am doing compulsions all day. Need to attack it. It is not like i have 1 obsession at the moment it is many small ones, getting stuck (slowness) is one redlight i think. 

Hope you are doing well everyone

Edited May 28, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[Andrewc]

2 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

This is great well done Andrew

thats nice to hear thank you.

I think this is a great thread as it's encouraging and we can all work together.

[Andrewc]

On 25/05/2018 at 08:51, lostinme said:

I totally agree Roy  I’ve spent to much time worrying what I’ve not managed to achieve today and then fretting about what I need to do again tomorrow  this then had a negative impact on both days and every consecutive day after. Learning to accept each day good and bad as been a huge milestone for me, this is what kept me stuck. Learning to celebrate from my successes no matter how small and accepting and learning from the bad days and what I could have changed?  instead of feeling like a complete failure( this was so unhelpful). 

Hope you and Julie have a nice day 

I think 'acceptance' is such a massive word with ocd. learning to accept thoughts for what they are, any awkward compulsions, and life's upsets in general. Then I believe one is more willing to relax about it all, and it should fade. its worked for me for some physical compulsions, and mindfulness for rumination

[gingerbreadgirl]

16 minutes ago, Andrewc said:

I think 'acceptance' is such a massive word with ocd. learning to accept thoughts for what they are, any awkward compulsions, and life's upsets in general. Then I believe one is more willing to relax about it all, and it should fade. its worked for me for some physical compulsions, and mindfulness for rumination

Totally agree.

[Guest PaulM]

Hmmm. This was a big weekend for me.

On Saturday I took on something I'd been avoiding for 7 years. I had some boxes in a closet that I had gone through when I worked at a job that put me over the edge with contamination. There was one day, in 2010 or 2011, I had to go home in the middle of the day to find something in them for work.

I wanted to go through things, sort them out, and clean up the closet. This job really set me back with OCD fears. I suppose it was flooding to the extreme while I worked there and it really has done a number on me.

So finally, after ordering new storage boxes a couple of months ago, on Saturday I thought this is it. I've let this control me long enough. Part of the avoidance was worrying that this too would set me back from where I've managed to get to.

It went okay. I was quite difficult emotionally as there are a lot of keepsakes in them. I managed to get through the 7 cardboard boxes and 2 plastic bins. Everything is now stacked in new bins outside the closet except for a couple of items.

8 bags of garbage or recycling, 2 boxes of cardboard and other recyclables went in the bins.

I'm supposed to wash the walls of the closet and the doors down. That's still to come. And the regular stuff - wash the floor and that sort of thing.

My brain has been all over the place. I was hoping to feel some crazy euphoria that it is done. But, like all things contamination related, OCD has been playing with me, minimizing the successes, and highlighting the risks/possibilities/etc. I have worried that I've only spread the contamination around, or that I've made things worse otherwise. I have to use a fob to get into the garbage room in my building. Did I contaminate the fob? Did that then contaminate the other things in my pocket since? Did I just contaminate the bedsheets I slept in even though I had a shower? Lots and lots of racing thoughts.

However, in challenging the OCD, after having a shower, I went out Saturday night and had dinner, went to a club, Sunday I went out to a couple of places I frequent, and today I'm at work. I had to go the bank today. As much as the thoughts have been coming at me, I've been trying to get through things without giving in to 3 hour showers and thinking my whole apartment is now contaminated again.

Progress I suppose. Small. And in some ways disappointing since I'd come so far. But progress never the less from where I was 3 years ago. 7 years of dreading this task. What a mess I must sound like.

All the best to everyone taking things on, whether it's taking on the day to make it through, or pushing through something that you've avoided, or just remembering this is a really unfortunate and discouraging condition but you're doing it.

[gingerbreadgirl]

1 hour ago, PaulM said:

Hmmm. This was a big weekend for me.

On Saturday I took on something I'd been avoiding for 7 years. I had some boxes in a closet that I had gone through when I worked at a job that put me over the edge with contamination. There was one day, in 2010 or 2011, I had to go home in the middle of the day to find something in them for work.

I wanted to go through things, sort them out, and clean up the closet. This job really set me back with OCD fears. I suppose it was flooding to the extreme while I worked there and it really has done a number on me.

So finally, after ordering new storage boxes a couple of months ago, on Saturday I thought this is it. I've let this control me long enough. Part of the avoidance was worrying that this too would set me back from where I've managed to get to.

It went okay. I was quite difficult emotionally as there are a lot of keepsakes in them. I managed to get through the 7 cardboard boxes and 2 plastic bins. Everything is now stacked in new bins outside the closet except for a couple of items.

8 bags of garbage or recycling, 2 boxes of cardboard and other recyclables went in the bins.

I'm supposed to wash the walls of the closet and the doors down. That's still to come. And the regular stuff - wash the floor and that sort of thing.

My brain has been all over the place. I was hoping to feel some crazy euphoria that it is done. But, like all things contamination related, OCD has been playing with me, minimizing the successes, and highlighting the risks/possibilities/etc. I have worried that I've only spread the contamination around, or that I've made things worse otherwise. I have to use a fob to get into the garbage room in my building. Did I contaminate the fob? Did that then contaminate the other things in my pocket since? Did I just contaminate the bedsheets I slept in even though I had a shower? Lots and lots of racing thoughts.

However, in challenging the OCD, after having a shower, I went out Saturday night and had dinner, went to a club, Sunday I went out to a couple of places I frequent, and today I'm at work. I had to go the bank today. As much as the thoughts have been coming at me, I've been trying to get through things without giving in to 3 hour showers and thinking my whole apartment is now contaminated again.

Progress I suppose. Small. And in some ways disappointing since I'd come so far. But progress never the less from where I was 3 years ago. 7 years of dreading this task. What a mess I must sound like.

All the best to everyone taking things on, whether it's taking on the day to make it through, or pushing through something that you've avoided, or just remembering this is a really unfortunate and discouraging condition but you're doing it.

You should be massively, massively proud for achieving this, Paul.  Don't let OCD minimise your achievement! This is an incredible thing you've taken on.  You took on something that's frightened you for a long time and you pushed through despite your fears and OCD's taunts.  Don't do yourself down - give yourself a huge huge pat on the back and feel really proud of yourself, you deserve to!!