Ocd contaminated cupboard help

[Guest Phil10]

I’m worried about the letter box being contaminated now. My mum posted some
Cash in a Father’s Day card envelope. Now when I stayed at my parents she use to sometimes take stuff out wheelie bin and put them in house so I fear she did this with the envelope.

It’s one these things I can’t confirm I wasn’t there. Perhaps it never went in the bin but if it did she use to put blocked toilet bags in bin do it could pass toilet germs via my letter box 

I also put envolope on my table but never thought about this until later. Ocd uncertainty is my biggest issue at the moment.

Whilst I am enjoying chatting and having theropy I don’t believe I’m any closer to beating my ocd.

So yes any parcels I get now could become dirty but I can’t confirm where that envlope has been 

[Guest Phil10]

She’s put envelopes though door before and I never worried so it’s related to my new house.

[PolarBear]

Or its related to OCD, which means there is nothing to be concerned about. This is the possibility you need to start entertaining.

[Guest Phil10]

6 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Or its related to OCD, which means there is nothing to be concerned about. This is the possibility you need to start entertaining.

Yes it’s ocd but that doesn’t stop me worrying about the germs because I have ocd so it’s what I do..

[PolarBear]

What I'm saying is you have yo change the way you think and behave around the thoughts. Start entertaining the idea that there is no contamination and never was.

If you keep doing the same old thing you can't expect a different result.

[Guest Phil10]

Another day another worry

The bathroom floor got wet so my dad used a piece of toilet paper to dry the floor it was sitting on the system so I fear toilet germs have spread to the floor and when I stand on floor that transfers to carpets 

This is why I paid people to do work my Parents have no care 

[Guest Phil10]

On 23/06/2018 at 00:44, PolarBear said:

What I'm saying is you have yo change the way you think and behave around the thoughts. Start entertaining the idea that there is no contamination and never was.

If you keep doing the same old thing you can't expect a different result.

The envelope could have come from the bin which had tissue paper from blocked toilet in past so germs could have hit my letter box 

[PolarBear]

1 minute ago, Phil10 said:

Another day another worry

The bathroom floor got wet so my dad used a piece of toilet paper to dry the floor it was sitting on the system so I fear toilet germs have spread to the floor and when I stand on floor that transfers to carpets 

This is why I paid people to do work my Parents have no care 

Your dad did absolutely nothing wrong. This isn't about your dad doing anything. This is about you having cintamination OCD and seeing danger when there isn't any.

[PolarBear]

2 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

The envelope could have come from the bin which had tissue paper from blocked toilet in past so germs could have hit my letter box 

The risk is so low it's a non-issue. I would gladly lick your letter box. There is no danger. It's all a big lie being invented by your mind.

[Guest Phil10]

14 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

The risk is so low it's a non-issue. I would gladly lick your letter box. There is no danger. It's all a big lie being invented by your mind.

Yes but these situations happened because I use to block toilets. I moved out but I can’t be sure if she pulled that envolope from the bin it may not have but it could have. It’s the uncertainty of it all..

[Guest Phil10]

17 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Your dad did absolutely nothing wrong. This isn't about your dad doing anything. This is about you having cintamination OCD and seeing danger when there isn't any.

Yes but some people are more dirty and care less. These situations don’t happen to everybody some people are very clean..it’s hard to control who enters my house and what they will do germs wise though..

[Guest Phil10]

Only way to relieve fear is a new front door problem is I get online orders and I could believe they are contaminated 

[PolarBear]

Phil, your thoughts and actions ate not justifiable. Other people are not the problem. It's you. 

No one else would even consider changing the door, even under the same circumstances.

There is no contamination. It only exists in your head.

[Guest Phil10]

She insists she still has other father’s Day envolopes but I still don’t believe it maybe if she shows me there it would mean less likely these envolopes were contaminated so perhaps using evidence can help ocd I’ve heard of that before? 

[Guest Phil10]

4 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Phil, your thoughts and actions ate not justifiable. Other people are not the problem. It's you. 

No one else would even consider changing the door, even under the same circumstances.

There is no contamination. It only exists in your head.

Yes but my ocd is so strong right now to the point I don’t believe I am real or exist or anybody else does. I’m having therapy that’s not helping. The ocd seems more red than life itself..

[snowbear]

7 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

I could believe they are contaminated 

I remember many decades ago a psychiatrist telling me, 'You're free to believe whatever you want. Doesn't mean it's true.' 

And with that he shrugged and pointed at the sink - 'Go wash your hands if you want. Nobody's stopping you, but nobody's making you do it either. Just remember the contamination you believe in exists only in your mind. 

 

8 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

Only way to relieve fear is a new front door

Been there. Got a receipt somewhere for £700 to prove it.   But it was only days before the new front door felt contaminated too. A temporary reduction in fear at best,  certainly not a method to abolish fear.

Of course there was nothing wrong with the old door, there was nothing wrong with the new door. But I allowed that feeling/ belief that it was contaminated to dictate my actions because I was locked into OCD thinking at the time and couldn't see any other option but removal and replacement. 

However there are other ways to relieve the fear. All of them work better than buying a new door (and cost a lot less!)

I know from the replies you're posting here that the door won't be the last thing you replace. But every time you give in you'll be reinforcing the belief the contamination is real and the fear will grow stronger, not lessen. As the fear grows you become willing to sacrifice more and more, replacing ever bigger and more significant things as OCD takes over every aspect of your life. There'll be many more items you discard, furniture and fittings you replace (or learn to do without), houses you move out of ...and ultimately people you love dearly whom you'll cut out of your life in an attempt to escape the fear. 

And none of it will work. Each replacement/sacrifice will only reinforce the belief the contamination is real, make the fear stronger and keep you ever tighter in the grip of OCD thinking that says, 'It's too strong to fight just now.'  

Been there, done it, got the   

Eventually you'll have to face the fear. Only question is whether you'd prefer to do that now when the stakes are an unimportant and easy-to-replace item like a front door, or whether you want to wait until it's the life of your significant other/ family member that you're putting on the line. 

If I could go back three decades I'd make the choice to face my fear when it was about something as trivial as replacing a door.  I'd go back and tell my younger self to face my fear NOW, no matter how strong the OCD feels. So I'm passing that advice on to you, Phil. Don't let the OCD get even stronger before you choose to stand up to it. All you're doing is putting off the inevitable and making the mountain you'll have to climb a lot, lot harder. 

[Guest Phil10]

Yes I’ve already moved house due to ocd.

What was the turning point for your ocd to help you get better? Did you just stop worrying one day? 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

3 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

Yes I’ve already moved house due to ocd.

What was the turning point for your ocd to help you get better? Did you just stop worrying one day? 

It will never happen. You need to make it happen. And it will get much worse before it gets much better.

It is not cheap to have OCD, atleast not sometimes. I once thought my house was contamination by poison so i bought a thing i really couldn't afford. But well.. Sad really. Cost me 800 dollars. 

 

Edited June 25, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[Guest Phil10]

I got a book online for my anxiety however it will come via letter box so it could become contaminated due to it coming via letter box only way I can relax my anxiety is check it she still has old envelopes from Father’s Day if she does chances are low it came from bin if she doesn’t then chances are high..

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

What are we supposed to say to that? What would be the optimal thing for me to say to you now? How could i ease your mind? Would you be grateful if  i showed you in some weird way that your book was clean (free from cotamination)? How can anyone here give you such proof? That is some "FBI-level" stuff that. And not just any case, it need to be something like the poisioning of the spies this year.

[Guest Phil10]

8 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

What are we supposed to say to that? What would be the optimal thing for me to say to you now? How could i ease your mind? Would you be grateful if  i showed you in some weird way that your book was clean (free from cotamination)? How can anyone here give you such proof? That is some "FBI-level" stuff that. And not just any case, it need to be something like the poisioning of the spies this year.

I don’t know what people should say but that’s why I’m on here asking for help.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Just now, Phil10 said:

I don’t know what people should say but that’s why I’m on here asking for help.

Could it be that you are writing it out because it eases the anxiety a little bit?

[Guest Phil10]

3 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Could it be that you are writing it out because it eases the anxiety a little bit?

It’s helpful to hear other people talk about there experiences but I do find it easy to chat about it same with family however I have not been able to cure my ocd even with therapy.

Edited June 25, 2018 by Phil10

[Guest Phil10]

If the envlope was in the bin it had toilet paper in it from blocked toilets so the door would become contaminated if I don’t replacd door all items coming via letter box could have germs from a toilet 

[PolarBear]

15 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

If the envlope was in the bin it had toilet paper in it from blocked toilets so the door would become contaminated if I don’t replacd door all items coming via letter box could have germs from a toilet 

That's what you are telling yourself, but that doesn't make it true. You can start recovery by changing the way you wird things.

It's not "that is contaminated." It is "my OCD is telling me that is contaminated". See the difference?