Just won't go away

[battlethrough]

The sexual fantasis i had about my sister in law won't leave,the guilt I had them I mean.

Ithe was eight years ago and has been troublin me for 4 months.

The one that haunts me is I fantasted that my sil said she couldn't have kids.In the fantasy I said I could and then fantasised we had sex ,n the fantasy I imagined my partner was upstairs.

It's still tearing me apart,I can't understand why I had this fantasy as it was so long ago but it disgusts me every second of every day,I can't understand why I would imagine that story line.it goes against every loyal and decent person I am.

I've come away from this sight and have been trying hard not to rumine or do cumpolsions. Don't know what else to do

Edited May 30, 2018 by battlethrough

[Wonderer]

Hey, I know how distressed u are but u have described ur fantasy several times now, no doubt looking for someone to tell you it wasn’t that bad for reassurance, thing is the details of it are not the issue, it’s literally ur disordered thinking and inflated guilt around it that’s the problem, if it’s not going away it’s because u are still doing compulsions around it, rumination I’m sure being the main one. What makes u think that despite how complex human beings are, how many random thoughts we get a day, that a sexual fantasy U had is any different to the many that 99% of people have on this planet? Yet they are functioning as normal with no threat to their character or relationship?? How come all of a sudden ur brain switched from intrusive thoughts about ur sister to this? Well, of course it’s because Of the illness, U have got to accept this and work towards moving past it or u will be forever stuck.x

[battlethrough]

Thanks will, I didn't want to post on here as I know it's the same old same old.

I am really trying hard.I haven't confessed to so.I'm refusing to Google constantly and am trying not to seek to much reassurance, I'm on luvox for 2 weeks now and it has lifted my mood but the obsessionAl thinking still needs help

[St Mike]

 

23 minutes ago, battlethrough said:

I can't understand why I had this fantasy as it was so long ago but it disgusts me every second of every day,I can't understand why I would imagine that story line.it goes against every loyal and decent person I am.

You have to stop trying to figure it out.

The reason why we are such an inventive and creative species is because our minds can conjure up almost every thought, idea and fantasy, imaginable.

You have to realise that it was just a "FANTASY", a scenario conjured up in your mind. It was and never will ever be real or part of reality.

You have got to pull yourself back into the present moment and back to reality.

As with all themes of OCD, it is how much credence we give to the intrusive thought and subsequent reaction to it that determines how fast we can recover. As long you continue to think that it was something so bad, so wrong, you will continue to feel the guilt and the intrusive thought will remain ever present and occupy more and more of your time and attention.

You have to stop according judgement to what you have thought of, in your mind 8 years ago. It is already long over, treat it as something silly and let it go

 

 

 

 

[battlethrough]

Thnx,I try not to dwell but it pulls me in with questions like so you wanted to have a child with her then or saying it must be more than a fantasy because of the storyline,when will I learn to stop doing stuff I know I'll feel incredably guilty for later

[snowbear]

3 hours ago, battlethrough said:

but it pulls me in with questions like

This is where you're giving meaning to the thoughts/fantasy when it warrants no such interpretation, not even an attempt at an interpretation. 

As St Mike said;

4 hours ago, St Mike said:

As with all themes of OCD, it is how much credence we give to the intrusive thought and subsequent reaction to it that determines how fast we can recover. As long you continue to think that it was something so bad, so wrong, you will continue to feel the guilt and the intrusive thought will remain ever present and occupy more and more of your time and attention.

You have to stop according judgement to what you have thought of, in your mind 8 years ago. It is already long over, treat it as something silly and let it go

Stop looking for meaning in the fact you had a fantasy/thought.