Taken Advantage of because of OCD

[Andrewc]

Hi

I'm just wondering do other sufferers feel they get constantly taken advantage of due to lack of focus as they are distracted by 'Ocd demons' in their head? And this fuels anger, and more pressure and anxiety?

I get this daily.

Andrew

[Wonderer]

In what way Andrew? I don’t personally ever feel taken advantage of because of my illness but I do think when I’m extra irritable and feeling depressed that I have a skewed perception, I tend to read too much into things and overthink any perceived annoyance.xx

[Andrewc]

Hey,

Thanks for your response.

It varies in degrees. For example the worst probably is a work situation where you can't quite fully get your point across in a confident manner, although you are confident about the subject in hand, but because you are filled with anxiety and fighting a compulsion a smoke screen of nerves covers your answer, so you are misinterpreted, and someone loses belief in you. This has happened a lot to me.

Or another one is say you are in conversation with your family or friends but that fear starts to rise because of a compulsion you are fighting at the same time, you will get patronised, condescended or made to look stupid in some way.

On a very small level, a shop owner or customer assistant can do this too because you constantly have a demon in your mind. 

And for me it is that a lot of the time well most I want to blow my nose even when it is necessary. It freaks me out, and I tell my friends to stop me, hold my arm back if necessary.

[Andrewc]

34 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

In what way Andrew? I don’t personally ever feel taken advantage of because of my illness but I do think when I’m extra irritable and feeling depressed that I have a skewed perception, I tend to read too much into things and overthink any perceived annoyance.xx

Apologies msg above.

 

And continuing from the above, also partners I say 'be cruel to be kind to me to stop being doing stuff'. other smaller compulsions too.

[Guest PaulM]

3 hours ago, Andrewc said:

Or another one is say you are in conversation with your family or friends but that fear starts to rise because of a compulsion you are fighting at the same time, you will get patronised, condescended or made to look stupid in some way.

Yes, I can totally relate here. At one point I wasn't taken seriously by people in my life, even though in some cases my concerns were valid and even the therapist told them the same.

 

[Andrewc]

33 minutes ago, PaulM said:

Yes, I can totally relate here. At one point I wasn't taken seriously by people in my life, even though in some cases my concerns were valid and even the therapist told them the same.

 

Yeh that's true. The therapist is usually on your side  . That's a positive. 

[snowbear]

7 hours ago, Andrewc said:

On a very small level, a shop owner or customer assistant can do this too because you constantly have a demon in your mind. 

There's an excellent quote from Eleanor Roosevelt which might help you understand what's going on here, Andrew. 

''No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.''

Two things are happening to result in you feeling this way:

1. You're telling yourself the 'demons in your head' are making you come across badly

2. You assume others see you as you're seeing yourself. So you perceive condescension, loss of belief and stupidity when actually these are more a reflection of how you feel about yourself than how those around you feel about you. 

Adopt an attitude of 'Yeah, my brain's having to do two things at once, but so what?' Stop beating yourself up for having OCD and you'll perceive less hostility in other people. 

[Orwell1984]

Andrew I can completely relate. And the cop out response from the perpetrators is 'oh it's your perception' or 'you're telling yourself these things' when your therapist and people not close to the issue can clearly see your concerns and uphold them as valid. Look up 'gaslighting'. This may explain some of the people in your life who are guilty of these behaviours on a frequent basis. 

 

Good luck and keep believing in yourself.

[Angst]

Just read about gaslighting. The term based on the classic film Gaslight. And one post was about How to use Gaslighting at Work.

Feeling or acting confidently is important. People who display vulnerability can be exploited. For example, if you have plumbing leak and are really worried in my experience an awful lot of plumbers will charge a premium. The British television show Watchdog often show vulnerable people such as infirm elederly people being exploited by salespeople and tradesmen.

[Andrewc]

18 hours ago, snowbear said:

There's an excellent quote from Eleanor Roosevelt which might help you understand what's going on here, Andrew. 

''No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.''

Two things are happening to result in you feeling this way:

1. You're telling yourself the 'demons in your head' are making you come across badly

2. You assume others see you as you're seeing yourself. So you perceive condescension, loss of belief and stupidity when actually these are more a reflection of how you feel about yourself than how those around you feel about you. 

Adopt an attitude of 'Yeah, my brain's having to do two things at once, but so what?' Stop beating yourself up for having OCD and you'll perceive less hostility in other people. 

Hey,

Again thanks for your message. 

I do believe when I am really freaking out because of the urge to blow people take it really badly and become aggressive towards me, and I have to really hold myself back in reacting. It's not so much I'm telling myself I come across badly but maybe the way people have treated me in the past now automatically gives this view so it strengthens anyone's dislike towards me. So I see your point.

Thanks for your msg.

Andrew