lily17 Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Why did I squeeze my thighs thinking of my sister, was it because I was just aroused and the thought arose in my head? Or did I want to think about her? I can't stress enough that I didn't think about an image of her, just a thought that was there. I don't know if it was intrusive because I kept on doing it. This is killing me on the inside. I don't see much more life after this. Someone help me get my insight again. Link to comment
felix4 Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Lily, I know it is hard, but you need to follow the advice given! From my perspective, you are ruminating, catastrophizing, and carrying out the compulsions of confessing and seeking reassurance! It is a never ending cycle of OCD that you are allowing to strengthen. I said it before, you need to cut down & ultimately stop posting these types of thread. With regards to confessing, I have a word of warning! Be very careful who you confess (your intrusive thoughts) to, because not all friendships last, and not everyone is quite so understanding on how OCD works, and it might get turned against you at a later date, for example! You need not confess anything to anyone, but having said that, certainly tell your therapist and psychiatrist everything, and let them help you with the added safety of patient confidentially! All the best. Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 4, 2018 Author Share Posted July 4, 2018 On 02/07/2018 at 23:50, felix4 said: Lily, I know it is hard, but you need to follow the advice given! From my perspective, you are ruminating, catastrophizing, and carrying out the compulsions of confessing and seeking reassurance! It is a never ending cycle of OCD that you are allowing to strengthen. I said it before, you need to cut down & ultimately stop posting these types of thread. With regards to confessing, I have a word of warning! Be very careful who you confess (your intrusive thoughts) to, because not all friendships last, and not everyone is quite so understanding on how OCD works, and it might get turned against you at a later date, for example! You need not confess anything to anyone, but having said that, certainly tell your therapist and psychiatrist everything, and let them help you with the added safety of patient confidentially! All the best. Thanks for the advice, Felix. Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 It happened again. I was stretching in bed and I pressed my legs together and thought of my little sister. I should have been more careful. Now I'm freaking the hell out. I thought of her on purpose it wasn't an intrusive thought I think Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 Well.... if you're a paedophile like you claim you are then presumably you enjoyed it, it gave you pleasure and no anxiety, and you're looking forward to doing it again asap? Or... maybe you are now experiencing distress, anxiety, doubt, guilty, etc? So which is it - the first or the second one? Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 28 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said: Well.... if you're a paedophile like you claim you are then presumably you enjoyed it, it gave you pleasure and no anxiety, and you're looking forward to doing it again asap? Or... maybe you are now experiencing distress, anxiety, doubt, guilty, etc? So which is it - the first or the second one? The second one, I am so anxious and feeling so much guilt, distress and doubt... Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 Just now, lily17 said: The second one, I am so anxious and feeling so much guilt, distress and doubt... but if you're a paedophile why do you feel these things? Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 1 minute ago, gingerbreadgirl said: but if you're a paedophile why do you feel these things? I don't know maybe it's possible to be a pedophile and feel these things at the same time?? Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 can you think of another explanation Lily? Link to comment
Caramoole Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 1 minute ago, gingerbreadgirl said: but if you're a paedophile why do you feel these things? Yes, if you're a paedophile why aren't you just enjoying these secret fantasies in your head. After all nobody is being harmed by thoughts, nobody knows. Have you spoken with your Psychiatrist about treatment for paedophilia? Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 11 minutes ago, Caramoole said: Yes, if you're a paedophile why aren't you just enjoying these secret fantasies in your head. After all nobody is being harmed by thoughts, nobody knows. Have you spoken with your Psychiatrist about treatment for paedophilia? This is starting to scare me. Yes actually she has told me plenty of times that if I were a pedophile, it would be ok we would seek out help... But I don't want to be a pedophile, it's so gross and I don't understand why I keep doing these things Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 6 minutes ago, lily17 said: it's so gross But presumably as a paedophile you don't find it gross? Presumably you find it enjoyable. Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 12 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said: But presumably as a paedophile you don't find it gross? Presumably you find it enjoyable. Is it weird that I can find it both weird and enjoyable? Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 I'm struggling to see any evidence of you enjoying this, Lily. Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 5, 2018 Author Share Posted July 5, 2018 1 hour ago, gingerbreadgirl said: I'm struggling to see any evidence of you enjoying this, Lily. Really? My OCD makes me find it enjoyable, then. Link to comment
Atlantis Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 OCD can convince you of anything, if you let it. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 19 hours ago, lily17 said: Really? My OCD makes me find it enjoyable, then. What exactly are you enjoying? Which nice, enjoyable emotions and thoughts are you having? Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 1 hour ago, Caramoole said: What exactly are you enjoying? Which nice, enjoyable emotions and thoughts are you having? Well, everything. I feel more and more attracted to her, I just scratched my parts thinking of her and I just don't know. I'm slowly turning into a pedophile Link to comment
Caramoole Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 5 hours ago, lily17 said: Well, everything. I feel more and more attracted to her That's not really what I asked? You talk about enjoyment, so looking at the emotions accompanying this what are they? Happiness? Pleasure? Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 2 minutes ago, Caramoole said: That's not really what I asked? You talk about enjoyment, so looking at the emotions accompanying this what are they? Happiness? Pleasure? Pleasure when I'm doing the things I'm doing then total unhappiness Link to comment
Caramoole Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 What thoughts? What emotions? Not physical sensations Link to comment
lily17 Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 Just now, Caramoole said: What thoughts? What emotions? Not physical sensations I get thoughts to do things such as scratch my crotch thinking about my sister and in the moment, I find it pleasurable but then minutes later I feel awful Link to comment
Caramoole Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 5 minutes ago, lily17 said: in the moment, I find it pleasurable What do you find pleasurable? Do you enjoy the thought? Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 6, 2018 Share Posted July 6, 2018 I really don't think it is useful to ask Lily those questions. She will just analyze Link to comment
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