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12 hours ago, Cub said:

Hi Ginger

It makes sense that you'd have negative associations with going on holiday; back in 2015 I went on holiday with my Dad and brother to Italy but I was struggling greatly with my OCD at the time and was concerned I'd spoilt the holiday because I was crying all the time and having moments of anxiety, episodes inside churches, etc. 

My advice to you would be to just do your best. Try not to treat it as be all and end all and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just make sure you're doing things you want to do, that you're nice and chilled and talking to the people around you, so you know you're not stuck in your head. And don't worry; people everywhere have bad holidays due to some reasoning or another; it's not all you, it's how the people around you handle and help you. We all need to be there for each other. Get plenty of sunshine if you can and a few cuddles along the way. Just don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day because you know you can try again tomorrow. It's a holiday so just be kind to yourself and remind yourself that it's not your fault you feel this way, it's just how you're made. 

I hope you have a lovely time. :hug:

C x

Thank you Cub, this is great advice.  Hope you're OK x

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I am getting increasingly worried about going away and the possibility of it being a repeat of last year.  I'm worried about being somewhere I can't escape from, and also being away from real-life routines and concerns which anchor me.  I'm also worried about the fact that my partner is a huge trigger for my OCD - mainly because I obsess about whether I'm good enough etc. - and it will be so much time spent together and I am worried about it triggering my OCD which I know would upset my partner.

Something has happened at my partner's work which has really upset her which in turn has really upset me, and it is similar to something which happened just as I was relapsing last year.  Also I am being really selfish about it because all I can think about is whether I'm going to have another OCD relapse, rather than the thing which has upset my partner.

Feel like it could be bad OCD-wise and I can't do anything to avoid it.

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
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Time for some good old refocusing GBG. 

We have to gently steer our minds away from the stuff that connects and awfulises. 

Things happen at work that are tricky, and we need help and support from our partners.

Leave the other intrusions be. They can't hurt you if you don't connect with them. 

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OK so had a blip last night and this morning but determined to get it together.  As others have said, overthinking this will make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I'm just going to try and float above it all, not try too hard, not pin any of it down, just let whatever happens, happen.  

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38 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

OK so had a blip last night and this morning but determined to get it together.  As others have said, overthinking this will make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I'm just going to try and float above it all, not try too hard, not pin any of it down, just let whatever happens, happen.  

Hey, I totally relate, I’ve been having random sweats and butterflies in my tummy even though I’m not thinking about anything, deffo can feel anxiety trying to grab at me, BUT, I decided today to make a holiday plan, I’ve decided to not allow myself to feel any pressure around how the holiday should go, I spoke to my mum and she suggested that I bring some books and if I’m not at myself then I can relax rather than put pressure on myself to go on long days out (although I want to go on day trips so I’ll deffo be trying!) I’m definitely not anywhere near as bad as I have been before, I think I’m a little freaked out because having a little anxiety feels new again cuz it’s been so long! We can both do it GBG, let’s make a promise to ourselves that we are going to have a good time! Xx

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Hi Ginger

You clearly care deeply for your partner but remember you can't control what happens at her work. It's been a hot, horrible week for a lot of people - at my work tempers have certainly been frayed! - and all you can do is your best by her. It's hard when real people are a trigger for our thoughts, I know. Just take your time and breathe.

C x

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That sounds the right thing to do Gbg, putting meaning on things you may consider a coincidence such as timing of events is just that a meaning. It's not necessarily a fact that things will repeat themselves and you worrying about it is only hurting yourself.

I truly believe that a change of scene can really be refreshing and help us unwind. You are much better prepared due to the progress you have made in the last few months thanks to the cbt you have done. 

Work issues can impact on us as we spend so much time at work but a holiday can bring that break to give some distance and perspective. Clearly I don't know the issue but I have found in the past removing myself from the work environment can help with issues there when I have had problems in the past.

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3 hours ago, Wonderer said:

Hey, I totally relate, I’ve been having random sweats and butterflies in my tummy even though I’m not thinking about anything, deffo can feel anxiety trying to grab at me, BUT, I decided today to make a holiday plan, I’ve decided to not allow myself to feel any pressure around how the holiday should go, I spoke to my mum and she suggested that I bring some books and if I’m not at myself then I can relax rather than put pressure on myself to go on long days out (although I want to go on day trips so I’ll deffo be trying!) I’m definitely not anywhere near as bad as I have been before, I think I’m a little freaked out because having a little anxiety feels new again cuz it’s been so long! We can both do it GBG, let’s make a promise to ourselves that we are going to have a good time! Xx

This sounds like a great plan Wonderer and I really hope you have a great time :) where are you off to, somewhere hot and sunny? We're going to Croatia - hopefully it is us in the world cup final instead of them! :) xx

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3 hours ago, Cub said:

Hi Ginger

You clearly care deeply for your partner but remember you can't control what happens at her work. It's been a hot, horrible week for a lot of people - at my work tempers have certainly been frayed! - and all you can do is your best by her. It's hard when real people are a trigger for our thoughts, I know. Just take your time and breathe.

C x

This is so true and I am terrible for wanting to take responsibility for how people feel about things.  Taking time to breathe is always good advice too.  Hope you're OK x

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2 hours ago, Avo said:

That sounds the right thing to do Gbg, putting meaning on things you may consider a coincidence such as timing of events is just that a meaning. It's not necessarily a fact that things will repeat themselves and you worrying about it is only hurting yourself.

I truly believe that a change of scene can really be refreshing and help us unwind. You are much better prepared due to the progress you have made in the last few months thanks to the cbt you have done. 

Work issues can impact on us as we spend so much time at work but a holiday can bring that break to give some distance and perspective. Clearly I don't know the issue but I have found in the past removing myself from the work environment can help with issues there when I have had problems in the past.

Thanks Avo you speak a good deal of sense as always :)  hope you're OK x

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31 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

This sounds like a great plan Wonderer and I really hope you have a great time :) where are you off to, somewhere hot and sunny? We're going to Croatia - hopefully it is us in the world cup final instead of them! :) xx

Thanks GBG and I hope you do too! No thankfully were just going a few hours drive away to Donegal on the west coast of Ireland, it’s my favourite place on earth, honestly it’s so beautiful and peaceful! Hoping for the nice weather to continue and we will feel like we’re abroad ?! Have another week away planned for a seaside town a bit closer to home in August so I hope if this holiday goes well then I won’t panic about the next one ?! Croatia sounds AMAZING! Well if u guys don’t get to the final it will be so atmospheric in Croatia if they do!!! Hope all goes well xxx

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Have a wonderful time. Live in the moment. Take a mindfulness type approach of enjoying your surroundings - fresh air, scenery, nature etc. Approach with a positive and relaxed mindset. Don’t expect things to go wrong otherwise you will write your own destiny.

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23 hours ago, Wonderer said:

Thanks GBG and I hope you do too! No thankfully were just going a few hours drive away to Donegal on the west coast of Ireland, it’s my favourite place on earth, honestly it’s so beautiful and peaceful! Hoping for the nice weather to continue and we will feel like we’re abroad ?! Have another week away planned for a seaside town a bit closer to home in August so I hope if this holiday goes well then I won’t panic about the next one ?! Croatia sounds AMAZING! Well if u guys don’t get to the final it will be so atmospheric in Croatia if they do!!! Hope all goes well xxx

ah that sounds lovely :) I would love to go to Ireland, my parents went recently and said how beautiful it is and how lovely and friendly the people are :)

Hope you have a lovely time and all your worries are groundless (I'm sure they will be) xx

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8 hours ago, cookiemonster said:

Have a wonderful time. Live in the moment. Take a mindfulness type approach of enjoying your surroundings - fresh air, scenery, nature etc. Approach with a positive and relaxed mindset. Don’t expect things to go wrong otherwise you will write your own destiny.

Thanks so much this is such good advice, I will do my best to just live in the moment and not think too much about anything x

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The health assistant on my full health assessment medical today said I would benefit from listening daily to one of the guided meditations I keep on my phone. She said you don't just need them when in crisis, they help build resilience. 

She also showed me a video on "Headspace" and said it's a great place to log into to help generate peace and calm. 

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I am feeling tentatively positive but do keep getting flashes of anxiety.  There was a situation between my partner and I during our last holiday which was really distressing at the time.  Going on holiday is making me relive it, as well as worrying that it will come up again this time.

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11 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I am feeling tentatively positive but do keep getting flashes of anxiety.  There was a situation between my partner and I during our last holiday which was really distressing at the time.  Going on holiday is making me relive it, as well as worrying that it will come up again this time.

I have had the T-shirt for this OCD ploy. 

You simply need to not accept any connection between what happened in the past, and the here and now. 

If it intrudes, just calmly and firmly ease focus away - don't connect with it, just move away. 

 

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GBG I’m exactly the same! It’s like we’re the same person right now lol, I’m feeling positive but like u have pangs of anxiety here and there with the worry the same old OCD worries I had last year will come back! However, I think I have a little more control this time, I don’t feel a major meltdown coming just a bit of apprehension, I keep reminding myself I am not the same as I was last year, we have both come so far, thinking back to the run up last year I was in a mess anyways, not so much this time around! Keep on thinking positively! Xx

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On 15/07/2018 at 19:05, Wonderer said:

Hi GBG, was just wondering how you’re getting on? I am on holiday now and am doing fantastic, all that worrying for nothing! I hope it’s the same for you xxx

Hi Wonderer,

So glad to hear you're having/have had such a good time and you showed OCD who's boss! :):)

I also had a really amazing holiday thank you for asking :) It was so much better and OCD was a ghost of its former self.  It was banging on the door a few times though and I did have some quite big wobbles, but I mostly did the right thing and kept it at bay.  What it really showed me was that it was possible to have a good time even with OCD hovering in the background - it doesn't have to dictate to me.

So glad to hear you put OCD in its place :) xx

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I am really pleased you both had a great time. 

Might I suggest you make some brief notes, to use as part of a blueprint of recovery methods that work for you? 

I have mine which I maintain on the computer, so it's easy to edit it. 

You might recall this idea of keeping a blueprint of recovery methods that work for us is featured in "Break Free From OCD"  but I came across it much earlier as it was taught to me by my CBT therapist. 

As I did in my career, I keep such notes in a very easy but very basic,very condensed format - which works really well for me. 

Edited by taurean
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