NJ321 Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 I’m worried that due to something that happened today that I am due to the way I felt during the thoughts. I was at work & saw my parents in the store I work at & I was in a bad mood at that time & just had a negative reaction to them being there. But at that time I saw them I was helping a woman & her kid but I had thoughts of like just touch the kid & get it over with already since your life sucks is what I thought & to make your parents suffer. But it felt like the thoughts didn’t bother me or anything. I feel like in that moment I could have did something if I wanted due to not feeling like the thoughts were bothering me. I’m just confused since it felt different in that moment I was having the thoughts. I am just confused since wouldn’t I feel different in the moment? Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Why use an OCD forum to facilitate OCD. Why not ask (if you have to) elsewhere? Link to comment
Atlantis Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 5 hours ago, NJ321 said: I’m worried that due to something that happened today that I am due to the way I felt during the thoughts. I was at work & saw my parents in the store I work at & I was in a bad mood at that time & just had a negative reaction to them being there. But at that time I saw them I was helping a woman & her kid but I had thoughts of like just touch the kid & get it over with already since your life sucks is what I thought & to make your parents suffer. But it felt like the thoughts didn’t bother me or anything. I feel like in that moment I could have did something if I wanted due to not feeling like the thoughts were bothering me. I’m just confused since it felt different in that moment I was having the thoughts. I am just confused since wouldn’t I feel different in the moment? Put it down to intrusive thoughts, nothing more. It's how you react to them that's important. A non-OCDer would've just brushed them off, but we tend to analyse more. Can I ask you, regarding the thought you had where you felt you wanted to do something to make your parents suffer.. do you get this with people you are angry / stressed with? i.e. thoughts of doing something bad to someone, to make a third party suffer? Link to comment
NJ321 Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 6 hours ago, Atlantis said: Put it down to intrusive thoughts, nothing more. It's how you react to them that's important. A non-OCDer would've just brushed them off, but we tend to analyse more. Can I ask you, regarding the thought you had where you felt you wanted to do something to make your parents suffer.. do you get this with people you are angry / stressed with? i.e. thoughts of doing something bad to someone, to make a third party suffer? I think sometimes but it felt like those feelings came out of nowhere. When I saw them at the time I was in an awful mood I just all of a sudden had weird feelings & thoughts. The thing that’s scary is it feels like I could act on a thought or want to in that moment when my mind felt like that. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Come on. This has happened dozens of times. And then you ruminate. And then you post about it here. And you ask if you are a pedophile. On and on. This will keep happening until you change the way you think and behave. Link to comment
NJ321 Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 On 19/07/2018 at 18:07, PolarBear said: Come on. This has happened dozens of times. And then you ruminate. And then you post about it here. And you ask if you are a pedophile. On and on. This will keep happening until you change the way you think and behave. It just felt different in the moment though like some sort of feeling in my mind felt like I wanted to do it. It’s like the depression & anger I had during that time just made me feel like I could do it or even felt like I wanted to. I don’t know why it feels like that for. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 1 hour ago, NJ321 said: It just felt different in the moment though like some sort of feeling in my mind felt like I wanted to do it. It’s like the depression & anger I had during that time just made me feel like I could do it or even felt like I wanted to. I don’t know why it feels like that for. You've said basically the same thing quite a few times before. Every time it feels new. Every time it feels different. When are you going to stand back and see it's the same thing over and over? Link to comment
NJ321 Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 11 minutes ago, PolarBear said: You've said basically the same thing quite a few times before. Every time it feels new. Every time it feels different. When are you going to stand back and see it's the same thing over and over? It just had a different feel to it in my mind though like I wanted to do it or wouldn’t of cared if I did. It’s like something consumed me due to feeling depressed & anger. I don’t know how to describe it but it just felt really different & just feel I could have did it if I wanted. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 You've said the exact same thing quite a few times before. You get sucked in by OCD's lies and fall for it every time. Something has to change or you'll be doomed to live like this for a long time. Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 1 hour ago, PolarBear said: Something has to change or you'll be doomed to live like this for a long time. And to ask reassurance seeking questions on an OCD forum. Link to comment
NJ321 Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 On 20/07/2018 at 22:02, PolarBear said: You've said the exact same thing quite a few times before. You get sucked in by OCD's lies and fall for it every time. Something has to change or you'll be doomed to live like this for a long time. It just felt like I could have did it if I wanted though. Just the feeling in my mind & the depression & being angry in the moment. I just had this feeling like I could have or wanted to do it. It felt just completely different than a regular OCD type of feeling. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 (edited) You keep telling yoursrlf that. You'll say it the next time. And the next time. You'll keep saying it and you'll remain exactly where you are. Edited July 23, 2018 by PolarBear Link to comment
lynx65 Posted July 23, 2018 Share Posted July 23, 2018 Polar is absolutely right. I notice the same behavior myself and fall into the trap but you have to realize that despite it feeling different each time it's the same fallacy. Stop seeking reassurance. When doubts come up answer the what ifs with whatever, allow the anxiety to be there, don't fight it don't push it away, do something else to occupy your mind and do this over and over again. Don't get into the infamous tug of war with ocd, don't argue, prove or disprove, just let the through exist alongside you and let it pass like a cloud. Your sanity will return in due time and you will see the pocd for what it is, just a P in front of ocd.. Link to comment
NJ321 Posted July 25, 2018 Author Share Posted July 25, 2018 If a thought keeps bothering me is it likely OCD or can it actually be something else? I just feel something else happened today involving POCD but I just don’t know anymore. I’m so tired of my mind not functioning right. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Start taking on the advice you are given or you will suffer this over and over. Link to comment
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