ocdsufferer85 Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 Please help me, please don't say no, and stop posting I just want someone to help me ocd makes you act so on edge and always watching out for danger etc you are always feeling anxiety and wanting to safe guard yourself etc. but when I finally felt on top of it like it couldn't fool me, that's when I ended up with a massive worry. it's not fair. I don't know how I'm in this position. why can't I ever beat it? everyone I ask says that's NORMAL and you shouldn't run away or avoid ocd, when I was getting all these thoughts about speaking but thinking logically at the same time NO OCD YOU CANT FOOL ME THIS TIME! I felt like I could relax...but this has given me such guilt because I feel like I had all this danger around me and I stayed in it...which in the end caused my biggest fear to feel like it came true. do you understand what I mean? The options are stay and fight it, don't do what it says, ignore it's silly rules and be confident....= ending up feeling guilty and severe panic and regret or....I can follow it's rules day in day out, avoid everything and feel on edge and ready to prevent any mistakes = stuck under its control and not living my life so either way I lose. It rules everything. Not because I let it, no, it's forced upon me. Please believe me. Link to comment
taurean Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 (edited) You go with option 1. But you learn in CBT that guilt is part of its game. You need to take short term pain for long term gain. By understanding how the OCD works, learning, and gradually practising, not to connect with or give meaning to its intrusions, and practising correctly exposure and response prevention (ERP), then that anxiety response will dissipate and intrusions lose power and frequency. This won't work until you understand why the OCD core belief it wants you to accept isn't true, and stare it out correctly in ERP. Edited July 25, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said: Please help me, please don't say no, and stop posting I just want someone to help me ocd makes you act so on edge and always watching out for danger etc you are always feeling anxiety and wanting to safe guard yourself etc. but when I finally felt on top of it like it couldn't fool me, that's when I ended up with a massive worry. it's not fair. I don't know how I'm in this position. why can't I ever beat it? everyone I ask says that's NORMAL and you shouldn't run away or avoid ocd, when I was getting all these thoughts about speaking but thinking logically at the same time NO OCD YOU CANT FOOL ME THIS TIME! I felt like I could relax...but this has given me such guilt because I feel like I had all this danger around me and I stayed in it...which in the end caused my biggest fear to feel like it came true. do you understand what I mean? The options are stay and fight it, don't do what it says, ignore it's silly rules and be confident....= ending up feeling guilty and severe panic and regret or....I can follow it's rules day in day out, avoid everything and feel on edge and ready to prevent any mistakes = stuck under its control and not living my life so either way I lose. It rules everything. Not because I let it, no, it's forced upon me. Please believe me. It is not us who deny you help by it is you who deny yourself to get our help. I am sorry but i think it is rude to say we won't help you because we won't involve in your compulsions. What's your opinion on the things Roy said? That is what i think most people here are advicining, but you are searching for a final relief, i am sorry but that is being stuck in OCD. Polarbear wrote in your latest thread, and you made a new one so you can get the most possible attention (we all do this), the thing is that i don't know what you want from us, you are here on an OCD-forum, confessing and then when we tell you that this is X and Y do you say we are wrong. So why even ask? It gets to a point where you have to decide yourself if you want to let the OCD dominate you totally or listen to others with OCD (who gives you advices) or listen to your therapist. You can have all the therapist in the world, they won't take your place and do dirtywork. Edited July 26, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
PolarBear Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 There is a third option. You begin to realize your initial fesr is silly, irrational and not worth the time you devote to it. Then you start stopping your compulsions. Then you challenge the obsession by purposefully uttering the words you dread. You keep doing this and over time the guilt, doubt and obsessions lessen. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 12 hours ago, taurean said: You go with option 1. But you learn in CBT that guilt is part of its game. You need to take short term pain for long term gain. By understanding how the OCD works, learning, and gradually practising, not to connect with or give meaning to its intrusions, and practising correctly exposure and response prevention (ERP), then that anxiety response will dissipate and intrusions lose power and frequency. This won't work until you understand why the OCD core belief it wants you to accept isn't true, and stare it out correctly in ERP. So option 1... Anyone else says you don't have to feel guilty for that But why does the guilt feel so crippling and real? Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 49 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said: But why does the guilt feel so crippling and real? Because it's just emotion. If someone cries at a movie they feel sad even though they know it's just acting and not real. Emotions are just chemicals in the brain, attaching meanings to thoughts generates emotions, emotions lead to compulsions, compulsions buy into the idea that they work, setting a precedent for behaviour, the thought occurs again and the cycle continues. All this builds feelings up to the point where they seem overwhelming, but they are still just emotions. Hard to ignore but can be. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 Wow love that explanation thank you, never thought about that, when you cry at a movie...wow. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 2 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said: So option 1... Anyone else says you don't have to feel guilty for that But why does the guilt feel so crippling and real? All this questioning won't take you anywhere. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 15 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said: All this questioning won't take you anywhere. I just wanted to know why we feel so much guilt and someone else can say it's silly Link to comment
taurean Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 3 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said: I just wanted to know why we feel so much guilt and someone else can say it's silly Sufferers from that same theme would feel the emotional response caused by the OCD intrusion - which will seem real, so (perceived) guilt will feel real. A sufferer without that theme, or a non-sufferer, would see it as silly nonsense and quickly dismiss it. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 26, 2018 Author Share Posted July 26, 2018 8 hours ago, taurean said: Sufferers from that same theme would feel the emotional response caused by the OCD intrusion - which will seem real, so (perceived) guilt will feel real. A sufferer without that theme, or a non-sufferer, would see it as silly nonsense and quickly dismiss it. Yes I understand and said this in my cbt, I read other posts and don't see why they are worried...as it's not MY theme or fear. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 26, 2018 Share Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) 37 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said: Yes I understand and said this in my cbt, I read other posts and don't see why they are worried...as it's not MY theme or fear. And there is no possibility in you believing them when they say that they feel like their world is going to end, them saying they want to kill themselves? Doesn't that indicate to you that they are in a pretty bad place? And then when you add the fact that they also have OCD doesn't this tell you something? But sure, you can go on forever and not finding another person who have your exact thought. That is possible Edited July 26, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 27, 2018 Author Share Posted July 27, 2018 If it was so simple to accept as an illness we wouldn't be chatting though Link to comment
taurean Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 But we really do need to accept that we, simply put, suffer from a mental illness that affects just above 1% of the population. We aren't responsible for having it. We can't choose the theme (s) - but they are all unpleasant, anxiety-inducing anyway. When we can move through acceptance, we reduce resentment - and that is a real positive step forward. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said: If it was so simple to accept as an illness we wouldn't be chatting though What are you going to do? I am sorry but you can be as angry as you want at having this, it won't change the fact that you have it. It is the OCD hijacking your thinking, it tells you that you can't move on. You need to go through it bla bla bla. You can do that but it will feed it and make it stay. Sorry Edited July 27, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 27, 2018 Author Share Posted July 27, 2018 I will try. It's hard. The hardest thing is when you do try and it creates another what if and another and another to keep you stuck. I am tired of it saying I tried to do something bad...the memories all seem real. It's horrible. I don't know what is real! My head is in a constant spin and I don't want to go on with it. I want to be free, it's my birthday in a week I want to enjoy it. Not have another year of it saying you don't deserve this nice day, you are evil. Link to comment
taurean Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 You have to learn not to listen to those intrusions. It's a vicious circle. Pay attention, and it cranks up the disorder and distress. Accept them as " just unwanted silly obsessional thinking." To break constant intrusions - I used to get the same thoughts repeating, then it would change to new thoughts, we have to break the Brainlock. I will add a link to a thread I wrote on how I learned what to do. Link to comment
taurean Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 (edited) Trying to find a non members area link Edited July 27, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
taurean Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 https://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?/topic/82465-what-helps-me-to-overcome-repetitive-ocd-thoughts-images/ Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 4 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said: I will try. It's hard. The hardest thing is when you do try and it creates another what if and another and another to keep you stuck. I am tired of it saying I tried to do something bad...the memories all seem real. It's horrible. I don't know what is real! My head is in a constant spin and I don't want to go on with it. I want to be free, it's my birthday in a week I want to enjoy it. Not have another year of it saying you don't deserve this nice day, you are evil. Then you have to start acting differently. I wouldn't care so much about feeling good in 1 weeks time, only way you can guarantee that is to get massively reassured. 3-6 months and you will be feeling A LOT better if you stop involving right away. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 27, 2018 Author Share Posted July 27, 2018 I have had quite a few weeks without ruminating, but it doesn't last, I know it just depends on what version of memory I believe at the time. I think it will take a long time due to how long it's been going on. I don't expect fast results atall Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 27, 2018 Author Share Posted July 27, 2018 4 hours ago, taurean said: Trying to find a non members area link Will check these out thank you. Link to comment
taurean Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 The other thing we must absolutely not do is try and set a time limit for recovery. My, excellent, latest therapist said recovery will take whatever time it takes, and she is right. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted July 27, 2018 Author Share Posted July 27, 2018 2 minutes ago, taurean said: The other thing we must absolutely not do is try and set a time limit for recovery. My, excellent, latest therapist said recovery will take whatever time it takes, and she is right. Agreed. I really like the current therapist I have. She was so proud but I seem to be going down hill Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 It won't come fast, and that is if you are doing it pretty much by the book. But as long as you do the right thing more times than you do the wrong thing you will get better. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now