Is this OCD?

[don't know]

I've been having this problem for a week now, maybe a bit more. 

Anyway, I've been having trouble in seeing if this thing I'm worrying about is a general worry or whether it is ocd. I don't want to say exactly what it is as I find it to be very personal and embarrassing. I've found myself thinking about it for days and for example I have spent from the moment of waking up to going to bed to be thinking about it, reading articles and forums about it. I think the root of this would be comparing myself to others constantly. This has been leaving me feeling depressed and very anxious. 

This is why it is confusing me slightly because I understand that everyone compares themselves to others but I'm spending days consumed by it. I've noticed that I'm following a similar pattern to my previous/other obsessions. However, I don't think it's really irrational though to fit into it being OCD and is it me just wanting it to be OCD? I'm not sure. I'm hoping somebody could give me insight into this. 

Thanks for reading  

(edit - I don't think this could be OCD because it wasn't as bad in terms of content for it to be OCD. I don't know. I feel awful and selfish for writing this out. I'm such an embarrassment and pathetic.)

Edited July 25, 2018 by don't know

[PolarBear]

Knock off the negative self talk. It's not going to help.

Second, whatever it is, we've likely heard it. Doesn't matter how personal you think it is. We've had whole discussions on the proper way to wipe your butt.

Checking those other websites and forums is a compulsion. Do you feel loads better for checking them? No? Then stop doing it. Real simple.

Likely your biggest compulsion is ruminating. That's thinking about a topic on and on and not getting anywhere. How's that working for you?

[don't know]

Hi, thanks for the reply

In all honesty they don't make me feel better. In fact, I feel awful when I read them. I read them hoping they will reassure me, but they don't and then I feel as though there is something wrong with me. I've spent the past few days in a deep depression because of it - just like my previous obsessions. So, I can see the similarities between this one and my previous ones. It's often silly things though like I'll obsess over feeling so behind everyone else in life. But my particular worry didn't even bother me until two weeks ago and then I went into a full blown panic about it. I don't know if this is ocd because it just seems normal to me. I'm not sure. 

[don't know]

I also don't know whether it's OCD because it's not intrusive thoughts like my past obsessions - it's just a general feeling I have. 

[PolarBear]

Oh there's thoughts there. You say you've spent days thinking about 'it'. What is it? A feeling? There must be a thought behind it.

If I had a nickel for every time someone said, but this time it's different.

Obsession...distress...compulsion. Simple.

[don't know]

I don't know whether I'm taking this and trying to mould it to fit OCD though. 

[PolarBear]

If you have obsessions that cause distress and you do compulsions to try and alleviate the distress, it is OCD. That simple.

Edited July 26, 2018 by PolarBear

[don't know]

I don't know if it is though. It just seems like normal anxieties to me. 

[PolarBear]

So what? Clearly spending days on one thought/feeling is not heslthy and is not making your situation better so do something different.

[Gemma7]

Hi don't know

It's important i think to establish what OCD is. So clinical OCD has guidelines used for its diagnosis, but in simple terms it's reacting to emotions that are caused by or generate thoughts and doubts followed by unhelpful behaviours.

Trying to work out if something is or isn't OCD is an unhelpful behaviour in its self. It really doesn't matter, any line will be purely subjective. What matters is, is what you are doing actually making you happy, is what you are doing solving the supposed problem, are you thinking objectively about the problem (if you are unsure then you probably aren't, so look into cognitive distortions), are you using feelings as evidence you have a problem? All these questions are important for all things that we do, OCD or not. 

By what you've said, something is bothering you, you've set out to see if you are like other people, you've done research and now you doubt if you are, confirming to you the idea that there is something wrong with you. The last thing you said in your first post is that you are an embarrassment and pathetic, if you feel this way often, you will often look out for things that seem to confirm this. You have to learn where you keep tripping yourself up, be that how you think about yourself and how you then react, only then will you feel better

Edited July 26, 2018 by Gemma7

[don't know]

Hi, thanks for the reply  

The original anxiety is gone now and it's moved back to my old theme. All this gets so frustrating and confusing. I wish I could go back when I didn't have to deal with any of this mess. I don't know what to do and I feel like I should give up. 

[PolarBear]

Let us know how that works for you. Giving up is the perfect recipe to ensure you remain stuck where you are.

[don't know]

I am. I'm giving up - everything makes me feel anxious and I can't take it anymore. Like going out in public I get nervous and I don't like doing that. My family looks at me like a freak because at my age they were all married with kids and I'm not close. Even those aspects of getting my life together get me so anxious when they never used to. In theory I think I want to do all these things and then when it gets round to it I start to feel weird and then panic and shut myself off. I genuinely think there's something wrong with me like I'm broken or something. It feels like I'm an outsider in everything. Speaking to family members is the worst because I have nothing for myself - I'm just wasted space I know my family thinks this. They have said they are worried that I keep myself to myself. I like doing that though but when I hear everyone else in life doing great it makes me feel like a freak so I'm just confused. I know this isn't OCD but I can't talk to anyone about this. I don't know how I feel to be honest. 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

I think i wrote in one of your threads a while ago. I am also angry at lost time and all of that, all the stress i have gone through for nothing. 
Thing is that lost time is lost time. Maybe it is possible to travel back in time some day in the future but it doesn't' work today. 

You can't take it anymore, sad thing is that OCD can take it and it will give you more of itself if you involve in it. 

 

That post above won't benefit you at all, it is all grounded in OCD, it tells you that you can't take it anymore, so you will be more alert to threats. And then it gives you thought and you will involve in the. Your OCD doesn't care about you feeling good, it just thinks it is saving your life, but there is no threat.

Edited July 27, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[don't know]

Hi, thanks for the reply  

I don't know whether I am angry about it though. I just feel cursed and like I just don't belong in life. I feel like a constant outsider. I thrive from throwing myself into writing and academics and I'm seen as weird and there being something wrong with me from my family. I don't know what's wrong with me. Feeling like a failure and comparing myself is just making me feel so depressed and I know that isn't OCD. I just can't talk to them about it, so I don't know where else to turn. 

[PolarBear]

You don't know what OCD is. From where I sit it is quite clear you have it.

[don't know]

I clearly don't because I don't believe this is ocd. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't relate to anyone else and I just feel broken and weird. 

[Caramoole]

Quote

I clearly don't because I don't believe this is ocd.

And that statement clearly shows that as yet,  you don't fully understand the full spectrum of how OD manifests.  This particular doubt is amongst the most common ones held by sufferers.

OCD is an anxiety disorder and there are area's that will overlap with other forms of anxiety, the thing is it doesn't matter, the way we change our approach is much the same.

[don't know]

Hi, thanks for the reply  

But what I'm dealing with isn't OCD. I don't know what is though. It's so frustrating! 

[PolarBear]

I do not believe you when you say this is not OCD. You can try and convince yourself that it's not but that is energy wasted when it could have been dpent on recovery.

[don't know]

I'm so anxious right now. There's a family event that's going to be happening in soon. There's going to be lots of people at it and I'm dreading it. I've always hated going to events like this but now I feel like I'm going to seem as the family failure because I have nothing to talk about. I have no job, no relationship - which means I'm a failure especially compared to others in my family who are currently my age or were when they were my age. I'm seen as selfish as I don't want to go whatsoever but I just can't bring myself to go. I'm panicking about but I can't directly voice myself because I am a selfish and horrible person that is doing an awful thing by not wanting to see anyone. 

I understand that I'm talking about this on an OCD forum but this isn't OCD. I just can't talk to anyone about this because they'll say I'm awful, and it's not like I can miss it because it's close family. 

I do appreciate you all for reading and commenting on the post and i feel bad because the situation isn't OCD and I'm wasting your time. 

[PolarBear]

So you keep coming here to repeatedly tell us that your problem is not OCD. How's that working out for you?

[don't know]

Because I can't see how my post above is ocd. I don't see this as an obsession and I see  any signs of compulsions. I just see this as a normal insecurity issue that I'm blowing way out of proportion. I have no one else to talk to about this. I'm sorry for wasting your time. 

[PolarBear]

Once again you said you can't see how this is OCD. So how's that working out for you? Do you feel better doing that?

Edited July 29, 2018 by PolarBear

[don't know]

But is this OCD though? Because if it is I can treat as such. But I'm not sure it is - I can't see how my post indicates OCD at all.